First time in public- big steps

[Guest sPAZAttack]

Ok, so after much thought about it I gave up. I am sick of hiding me. At first I enjoyed walking around at night dressed but it still felt like I was hiding. I have always wanted to bite the bullet and go outside.The house was empty I decided to dress quite conservatively and headed out on the bus.I dressed in a pleated top and jeanshorts. I needed to return some shoes that I had bought from a store that were broken. I had originally bought them in male mode and made a joke about me looking different. Next, I went into the city and got my eyebrows trimmed. Not too much but a little bit androgenously. Then I went shopping. I visited any and every store I wanted. Originally I was scared about visiting specifically womens stores but dressed I found it did not matter. I really enjoyed this process and have always wanted to join the change rooms with the other girls. I then went to uni and worked for a bit.I really felt like a girl. All in all a really good day.

I was expecting people to be more negative to my appearance, but most were quite polite. I think I pass pretty well really. No-one said anything. Infact I was walking past a makeup stall and the woman called me over, she asked me what makeup I wore and I just mumbled a brand name that I knew. I think she then realised that I was a guy and said that she didn't have my colour! Another hawker tried to sign me up to a charity too.Pretty great, I just cant get to close lest they see my stubble( covered in makeup), or talk to much. I took a picture of me at uni if you want to look and see how well I pass, btw I had changed by then into my new favorite dress. I would love to know what you think. Going out in public felt very good, I still felt like me, but was just happy with my appearance for once. It was just liberating to be so uninhibited, to not care if people judge me- I appeared how I really feel. I will definitely do this again. How was your time in public? was it as positive an experience as mine?

Jess

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Hi Jess,

It is quite liberating to go out for the first time as ones real self, but also very scary! I am happy that you had such a positive experience that's really great! We always tend to imagine that our first time out that there will be stares and mocking but the reality of it is that people don't really notice anyone outside of their own little bubble unless your dressed in such a way that it draws their attention. The goal I think for your first few times going out is to build confidence the more confidence you have the easier it will get.

My first experience was similar, but I never had the courage to go out before I started laser hair removal because I just knew there was no way I could pass. Plus the fact that before I actually started going full time I didn't do any crossressing since I was like 8. You certainly have my respect for going out in public for the first time with stubble! When I started laser treatment, I started getting IDed as Miss, and Ma'am occasionally even though I was persenting as Gender neutral male. So I just couldn't help my self and went out as Sarah for the first time, like you I was worried the reactions would be negative and that people would make a fuss, but nothing happened. I even had a makeup lady ask me if I was interested in any samples. So yes my experiences were as positive as yours.

Really happy for you Jess, glad to hear you had a good time and that you are happy with your first experience.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest Kaylee234]

It's funny and a little sad how we get so stressed out about public reaction to expressing our true selves. Thankfully the reality of it doesn't meet our expectations. No crowds gaping and pointing in abject horror, no angry mobs with torches and pitchforks. Just normal people with normal reactions to things they may not experience often. That is, if they even notice you at all.

I can't say there's one defining moment where I "went out." I'm treating it as a kind of gradual process, where every now and then I add a little something, a little feminine detail. I still get a little stressed out about the changes, like when I decided that a particular day was the day I would retire my black colca messenger bag and start carrying an actual purse. But now I've been carrying it everywhere for weeks and thinking about which day I want to carry my Betsey Johnson bag.

But back on topic. I'm so proud of you for getting out there! It only gets easier and more natural the more you do it. Eventually, people will think it's weird for you to go out in "boy mode."

So congrats! And get back out there, sister! :D

~ Kay

[Charlize]

That sounds wonderful! I sure enjoyed my first trips but i must admit to drinking heavily before heading to a gay bar. When my heel hit the parking lot my heart was in my mouth. I'll never forget the fear and thrill. Booze was a crutch for much of my life but thanks to AA i'm not drinking now. Kay is right... at some point folks may only know you as a female if that is where you want to go. The fears we have are often just wrong. We think the worse and it makes it much harder than it needs to be. Enjoy yourself as you can. It sure is an exciting path to find ourselves and once we conquer the fear we are well on the way.

Hugs,

Charlie

[gennee]

I know the feeling, Jess.

[Guest Deenah]

How could i ever forget that day!! My first actual outing was when i lived with a roommate(female) just out of college. She was going to her cabin for the weekend so the house was all mine. When i new the coast was clear hehee i changed clothes and was ME. It was a beautiful summer night,i always loved to sit outside and enjoy the evening with a drink.It was hot so i put on my short shorts,tee and did my makeup. I was sitting out side and a couple walked by,noticed me,said hello and kept walking. I then thought,well heck i should go for a walk and just get it over. I then took a walk around the block and came back..wheeewww. My heart was pounding so hard but i made it..I did it.That was the start,after i progressed to longer walks around my neighborhood. Finally i got the courage to go to the Walgreens store 4 blocks away on a makeup run. Totally dressed,full makeup,and a pocket full of guts i walked in. As i approached the makeup area the associate came to me and started asking questions...I knew she Knew so i made the best of it. She was really great about helping be out,and of course she could see that i was very nervous. My planned 5 minute in and out turned into 30 minutes. I have to say that it was harder to do that then to tell my family that i was transgender.

Today i still sometimes get bent out of shape at certain places,but not even close as that first time out. Today(even as i type this) i am sitting in the coffee shop in full dress,makeup ect. there is nothing at all guyish about me. No one cares and no one even second guesses me. Confidence does a lot. Guys eye me up and for that even some women eye me up. I must add that the city i live in is very lgbt friendly so that helps a lot. But if you go on the north side,they will make it a point to say something only because they are the rich snobby people that have nothing better to do. I don't care,i just smile and say hello,that seems to send there egos right to the floor.