Picking a name

[Guest Strong]

I've been thinking of how to chose a name since I accepted being a transgender. I am having a hard time. My mother is still alive and is trying to be very supportive, (even asking questions), I want to make it easy on her. I have thought about the male gender of my name or something very simailer. I know this is a step i need to do soon. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Thanks

Strong

[Guest Kaylee234]

My name is one of the sticky points between my mother and I. She seemed to think that a feminine version of my given name would be nice. I was named after my father though, and although I respected him and who he was, he and I did not see eye to eye and I have many memories of experiences with him that she does not, nor will ever know about. So I went my own way and picked out a name I like.

I suppose my suggestion would be to find out what names were popular around the time you were born and see if you like any of them. Or when you were a kid, if there was a name you liked or even the name of a best friend you remember. It can be anything you like, really. Make it yours, you'll have it for the rest of your life

~ Kay

[Guest rexxmarksley]

I found that looking through baby names of the year I was born helped. I would say them out loud along with my surname to see how they sounded

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Well I tried to do the same thing Strong, I asked my mom what she would have named me if I had been born female and the names she picked out were AWFUL.. Bridgette.. no thank you. lol I picked out my name when I was a kid around 12 or so, and it was the name of a girl who was very nice to me when I wasn't the nicest person to be around. The name just sort of felt right and I've gone with it ever since.

Deciding on a new name isn't easy that is certainly true, you want to find something that resonates with you something that fits.. and you may change your mind a few times but when you find the right name I think you'll just know.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest LauraJen]

Hi Strong,

There has been some great advice here already so you may wish to try out some of these things for yourself. Definitely pay attention to how a name sounds with your last name and what initials spell. Also, you may find it a good idea to avoid names that close family members have. I made a thread about that here (http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=55889&hl=) after I made the same mistake.

People choose names for all sorts of reasons. I have heard people ask their parents what they would have been called, ask their friends to pick for them, choose the masculine or feminine counterpart of their birth name or simply go with one that they like, as I have done. There is no right or wrong way to choose and you really do have to just go with how you feel. Do feel free to experiment here, and take your time, there is no rush.

Best of luck!

[Guest Strong]

I know this sounds weird, however I want to say it anyway.I have always hated my name ( probably because it was a girls name). But I really like the male counterpart. So I am drawn to Carey or maybe Corey with mathew as a mddle name. Then heres the kicker Id like to keep my married name as my last name. Don't know if it even possible. I live in a very small town so don't want to cause to many waves where I can be endangered by people who don't try to understand.

[Guest Cherry]

hi strong,

how about: MAT

as a first name?

[Guest Cherry]

-----------------------------------

BEHIND THE NAME DOT-COM
http://www.behindthename.com/
-----------------------------------
CHERRY

GENDER: Feminine

USAGE: English

PRONOUNCED: CHER-ee [key]

Meaning & History
Simply means "cherry" from the name of the fruit. It can also be a diminutive of CHARITY. It has been in use since the late 19th century.

CHARITY

GENDER: Feminine

USAGE: English

PRONOUNCED: CHER-i-tee, CHAR-i-tee [key]

Meaning & History
From the English word charity, ultimately derived from Late Latin caritas meaning "generous love", from Latin carus "dear, beloved". Caritas was in use as a Roman Christian name. The English name Charity came into use among the Puritans after the Protestant Reformation.

DIMINUTIVE: Cherry

[KathrynJulia]

Is there someone that you admire and respect? Would their name work for you? Someone who helped you along the way. And BTW, you can keep your married name if you so desire. It's your choice. The only thing prohibited in most states is changing your name to commit fraud or picking a name that is vile or would cause strong negative feelings within the community. The judge might frown on that. I'm getting prepared to submit my paperwork soon here in Missouri sometime next week to change my name. Melissa just changed her name in St Charles County and I will be submitting in Boone County. Missouri gives you a lot of leeway in selecting a new name. PM me if you want to discuss it further. Kathryn

[Guest Strong]

Living in a small community of maybe 2000 folks. Almost everyone knows me and I.ve been here for nearly twenty years. I'm glad I can keep my married name. I hope struggling sees it as an honor. I think chooseing a name is harder than coming out. grrr

[Guest Strong]

Maybe I just take the name strong

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Well you certainly could, though I'm not sure that is used as a first name normally though I do know it is a common surname. I'm sure there are some male figures that you look up to or admire, perhaps one of them has a name you might like? Really though hon, there is no pressure to come up with the perfect name right now and you can totally change your mind later if you pick one you like now and don't like a month from now. Picking the right name is a bit of a process just have some fun with it, maybe get your spouse involved.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest LauraJen]

I think it is best to go with something that doesn't stand out too much, for a couple of reasons. For example, mine (Lauren) - how many people are there out there called Lauren? There were tons born in the 90s as was I - maybe try looking at names that were popular when you were born for ideas to begin with, as rexxmarksley said - it might be the best place to start. I think a lot of us just want to blend in with the crowd when transitioning as a name that is too out of the ordinary can draw unwanted attention to you. Plus there is a greater chance of people not taking you seriously when coming out to them.

Like we said though, don't lose any sleep over it, it will come to you eventually and there is no rush!

[Guest faint111]

What I did was look on name sites, pick out a bunch I liked and one just really stuck with me. I didn't want a neutral name, and all the names that I could think of with the same initials really didn't fit for me. So I'd say try that, I also agree with LauraJen. I picked a name that wasn't super unique, so I didn't stand out but not so common that you know 5 other people with the same name. Good luck Strong!

[Guest Jaques]

I was born Susan Mary Jordan, adopted at 4 months, so my name then changed to Jacquelyn Alston, I married 3 times and so my surname changed over and over, when I decided to transition, I was single, went back to the surname my adoptive parents gave me - Alston, with the exception of my Christian name, I was always called Jaques or Jaqui for short, so I Decided to go with Jaques because there had been enough changes - and transitioning is one of the biggest changes a body can make - so I felt it was best to stick with that because I like my name and for me it just didn't feel right to change it so radically, esp at my age - I don't know your first name Strong but maybe its one that can be adapted?

[Guest Erwynn]

My real name isn't Erwynn - although that is one of my middle names. I go by a more masculine version of the name I was called before, though this one has a different root. I do like it well enough, but I sometimes wish I'd gone with one of my middle names, rather than trying to make things easier for everyone else.

Something will feel right to you. Do you associate any names with the word "Strong?" That might be a place to start.

[Guest alexshearer]

My given name is Alexandria Nichole. I have decided to change it to Alexander Nicholas, but I also fear that I may be doing too much.

[Guest Jaques]

My given name is Alexandria Nichole. I have decided to change it to Alexander Nicholas, but I also fear that I may be doing too much.

I think that's great, my son pauls second name is Alexander, its a strong name, as in Alexander the Great and Nicholas (St Nick), also like me, you have made little change with maximum effect, which is a good thing I feel, we have enough changes to go through.............

[Guest Strong]

Do to much thinking my name i believe will be Carey James, My given name is Carrie Marie. which i hate

[JJ]

Sounds good. Unusual and yet not too unusual. Main thing is if it feels like you. My name is plain and old fashioned in a way but been calling myself that in my own mind since I can remember-5 or earlier. on a way it would be cool to choose but Johnny just is me

[Guest Jaques]

yes Carey is good, not unlike your previous name, so again, not too much change...............that's settled then, lol!

[Guest DonShelby]

I've struggled with the name choice too for quite a while now. I finally decided to just use the masculine version of my birth name. Went from Dawn to Don. Like many of you, I decided that I didn't need to make this anymore complicated than it already is. The good thing is that Dawn and Don sound very similar so if someone forgets it's no biggie. Good luck with your name search.

[Guest ChefErik93]

using the male form of your name is a good idea, or using a male name that begins with the current latter of your first or middle name. also try the male form of your middle name (if that is possible). or you can ask her what she would have named you if you were a boy, or what her favorite male name is. any male names that have been passed down through the generations?

all of these are options in order to make this easier on her. but honestly the name means more to you than it does to anyone else. if she is trying to accept you she will accept the name you choose. i have chosen my name thus far based on a name i always chose as a child. i couldn't tell you why, i just have always loved this name. no one in my family has the name Erik, it is not a family name, it is not similar to my given first or middle name. i just like it. then again i have not exactly come out, i haven't even been technically diagnosed. my mom has no idea i am struggling with this. and my step dad and girlfriend, who do know, don't know that i have chosen a male name.

My advice is to try to work with her on picking a name but you ultimately need to pick one that YOU like. hope that helped!

[Ravin]

I plan on changing my name, but expect I will continue to answer to my given at birth first name (which can be used for either gender depending on spelling) with family. I'll probably continue to answer to "mom" and "mommy" as well. At some point after I go on T I'm sure my kids will come up with something else to call me, just because it'll get weird to call me "mom" as I get more masculine.

[Guest ChefErik93]

that will be different for sure but it is great that you are working through this. its funny how much weight a name has to it! good luck