Risks of Misgendering

[Guest tmannick]

Of course, we are not allowed to misgender on this site, but there is the outside world. The place with others who may or may not support us. A lot of people don't realise this, but misgendering can put harm to transgender people. Calling an MTF a boy will make her an easy target for bullies. All that hard work she put into being stealth will go down the drain, and it will put her down. If she passes as female, but is called a he, others will see that she is trans. She will no longer be a girl to some people. Some may call her a trans woman now, and some will call her a male. It can put a lot of stress on her.There will be people who will bully her now. People may not want to talk to her anymore. That same girl who had lots of friends will know only have a few because someone outed her.

Misgendering can lead to a lot of hatred. Misgendering can be either intentional or accidental. If you ever misgender someone accidentally, immediately apologise and correct yourself. Even if pronouns can be ignored by apologising, names cannot. How are you going to cover up calling a girl a boy's name or a boy a girl's name? Remember if she is stealth, she has a female name she uses. What will others think when they see that you called her a boy's name? Will they be understanding? Some will. Will they accept her being trans? Some will, but to a lot of those who accept, she will always be the trans woman. Will people bully her? Yes. Some people will bully her. You are putting her life at risk. If you think misgendering will have no affect on her, you are completely wrong. It will have a huge impact on her until she moves.

Remember, MTFs are girls and FTMs are boys. If you aren't sure about someone's gender, ask them. Some people may not like you asking, but would they rather you call them the wrong pronoun? No. Don't be afraid to ask if you are not sure.

*Note: the example is an MTF, but misgendering can impact anyone, not just MTFs.

[Carolyn Marie]

Good advice, hon. There are many in the Community who prefer gender neutral pronouns, and if they let us know, then we should respect that and use the pronoun they prefer. It is simply a matter of respect.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Christian_the_FTM]

too true Matty!

[Guest SJH]

To be honest the world and society needs to change.

The world (greater world) need more educating and needs to know trans women are real women and trans men are real men, While the experiences of trans people and non trans people can differ this nonsense that we are not our real gender perpetuated by some of the non trans (cisgender) population needs changing. Education is the only realistic way