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How strongly do I have to feel about this to do it?


Guest jackg

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Guest jackg

Hello! I am 51, born female and currently still living as one, but have wanted to be a man for as long as I can remember. However, I have read these forums off and on for a long time, and have two trans friends, and all of them seem to be absolutely passionate about it and to have felt just compelled to do it. I don't feel so passionate or compelled, yet at the same time I do absolutely know my identity is male. Partly it's that I am a pretty emotionless person (upbringing), and while I am very serious about many things, I don't get emotional about them, I just do them. I feel very calm about the whole FtM thing, I know it is my preference, I believe it is my identity. If I'm not passionate, not compelled, just calm, does that suggest that I don't have enough commitment to it to do it? How can I tell? I guess the first step is a gender therapist, and for sure I'll listen to him or her, but I would appreciate a broader input.

Also, although I am now extremely stable, I am bipolar, and there were 20 years of hell (going to the VA and being on the wrong meds) and I have only been stable for two years. I don't want to jeopardize my mental stability. Is the transition risky to mental health, or does it improve it? I could stay as I am and be ok, if that is necessary, but I know I want to transition.

I have the vague support (non-opposition) of the only family I have, and more importantly I have the strong support of a wonderful congregation (Episcopal, God bless 'em) and some good friends. I am about to start a new job and could go as a guy, they are a mental health clinic and I will be a counselor, they would definitely be supportive, but probably very cautious to make sure I knew what I was doing, which would be fine.

What do you think?

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Guest Sarah Faith

Hey Jack! Welcome to Laura's Playground. :)

It's good that you at least have mild support of your family, and definitely having the support of your church is a great thing. I can't really answer your question and a Gender Therapist or a doctor may be able to better answer it than any of us can, but I'm sure someone will be a long with more info regardless.

You should head over to the introductions section of the forums and introduce your self to everyone! We have a lot of great members here with a great deal of information and support to offer.

We do ask that all members check out the Terms and Conditions at least once which you can find at the bottom right hand side of this page.

Looking forward to hearing more from you!

Hugs,

Sarah

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Guest Gerilynn

I will second Sarah, a therapist would be an excellent place to start as well as a doctor. Having said that welcome and I hope your journey brings you peace and comfort.

All the best

Gerilynn

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  • Admin

Your part about emotions is pretty typical in regard to controlled bi-polar. My ex spouse and a daughter are both bi-polar and my ex at least wishes she had a broader range that way, but prefers the centerline emotion condition to the polar cycling terrors.

Hormone therapy will affect some parts of emotionality, but each of us is affected differently. With adequate therapy support and realistic goals though, you should be able to weather the storms so to speak. Most of us do experience some degree of calming and becoming more in focus once we are on HRT, and that is from either FtM or MtF. With your therapy team, you may take some degree of risk on upsetting things, but a good psychiatric pharmacist in the mix can help control the risk factor.

I did not face my gender issues seriously until I was over 55 years old, so you do have time before you to learn how to safely become your true self.

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Guest Strong

Hello Jack,

I've recently came out. I'm a 43 year old f2m. I wanted to welcome you. I don't know much. But do believe sometimes its a personal prefrence with our therepists. It is nice to meet you.

Strong

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Guest Jaques

Hello Jack, not everyone has high emotions and for me, I didn't feel any passion about transitioning either, it was more a gradual awakening over a lifetime which culminated in me just knowing I had to go ahead and I was in my 50's. So if you know its right for you, you have your answer............good luck with it all. Jaques

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