New job, male but not out

[Guest Damond]

So I don't know. At my last job I was always 'she' and such for a while... I recently started T in April, so my voice has been deepening and such. Well today I started a new job at a new workplace under a male name, and I asked the woman introducing me for male pronouns. It caught on pretty quickly and I didn't have to worry about it the rest of the day. I guess the one thing I wasn't prepared for was men's bathrooms.

I don't go to the bathroom often so I'm not worried about going at work... but I do have to clean them. And I was shadowing this other guy and he took me into the men's just to show me the check list and some guy came and well... started going. I was kind of like 'oh god right' and paid extreme attention to the clip board. Then it happened again later (this time with a coworker) as I was trying to replace paper towels. And I mean it's nice to know I am passing to that extent but it just kind of freaks me out. I'm afraid one day I just come out to someone, or that someone figures it out, and that there's a drama fest that some of them have gone to the bathroom with me there. Usually I'm pretty out about my being trans to the people I know and in this work place on a few of the upper management know really and I guess I'm just not used to usually passing to such an extent. I just figured I would never really go in public restrooms. I just am freaking out about it I guess... is it something one gets used to?

[Guest Sarah Faith]

I've always been freaked out about going into public bathrooms, but I think the fears you'll have in regards to passing will fade as you continue to pass. I did attempt to use a public restroom once so far since transitioning after seeing a movie with friends and there was a line so I ended up holding it.. lol

I think you'll adapt, alot of the things that used to make my heart skip a beat in regards to passing don't even phase me anymore. So some things just take some getting used to I think.

Sarah

[Guest rexxmarksley]

I think most trans people are pretty cautious of being in their preferred bathroom because somewhere in the back of your mind there's the whole 'what if I don't pass' sort of thing.

I've only ever used the male bathroom once and I walked in and kind of stopped in my tracks because it shocked me. I'm not used to people openly doing their business infront of me

I'd say that even if you did end up coming out to them, they'd probably be ok with it but I suppose everyone's different. I'm sure there's someone you can talk to at your job that could guide you through something like that if you need them

[Charlize]

It took some time for me but i now use the ladies room without any hesitation. I'll even pause if there is time and space to check my hair and face. I can understand your problem in the men's room. I never was totally comfortable there either. I much prefer the privacy of a stall.

give it time and you'll know that it's where you go. I must admit walking the wrong way oncw before catching myself in the wrong room. In 63 years one makes a few habits.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Erwynn]

I go down the stairs 3 floors to use the unisex restroom at my work. Restrooms are such a pain.

Anyway, I do remember being the "female" janitor in a previous life, and that didn't stop the men from just walking in and peeing, so I can't imagine why presenting as male would give them any pause at all.

[Guest Damond]

Well I got talked to by a manager the other day... There is transwoman co-worker of mine and she got talked to as well; I guess there was a customer complaint about the restrooms so she and I are supposed to use our bio-gender restrooms again. I avoid or sneak in or out, but the store manager said she ordered unisex signs and is going to convert the upstairs employee bathrooms (though that was a week or two ago and no signs yet) but...eh. I just act like I'm not supposed to go into the bathrooms while a customer is in there; knock, announce myself as cleaning, etc and wait outside.

[Guest leo]

Do you live in America damond? Cus here in the UK by law trans people can use the toilet of there preference at work not there bio gender, the UK are strict on trans law! I mean what if a trans person was to have all surgeries? And had respective genitals? Would they expect you still to use the bathroom of your bio gender? If you had bottom surgery and had a penis and a beard I don't think they will like you to use the female toilets