over two weeks truly sober

[megandb]

Just a quick update, as of saturday I was two weeks truly sober, over half way to my first thirty days. I guess it can be done but it is a long long thirty days, thank goddess for ginger beer and tea lol

[Guest]

Woohooo !

Way to go Megan!

You can do it.

We're all here covering your back.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest LizMarie]

That's an important milestone! Stick with it! You can do it!

[Guest Angel Heart]

Congrats megan! that is very wonderful to hear

You can do it. Keep going, and know you can PM me if you need.

[Guest Kaylee234]

Congrats! Much respect from me for reaching this milestone. I can't even go one week.

~ Kay

[VickySGV]

Megan, and Kay too -- there are a whole group of us here at Laura's that REALLY can feel for you because we have been there and know what you are going through, and we are holding our breaths for you. We want you to succeed, but will still be here if accidents happen. I relapsed after 16 years C&S, and found that no one really in the program thought less of me, just relief it was not them that had done it. You can read the names making the posts here and figure out who we are. ANY of us are here for you and know it can be done as long as you do not try to fool yourself and think you can do it alone. Keep us in the loop and keep coming back because it works.

[Michelle 2010]

Hang in there girls! Green tea and ginger beer are better for the complexion and the voice

Hugs

Michelle

[Charlize]

Two weeks is a huge accomplishment! Well done. You are doing the most important thing in your life. Getting sober was so important in growing to accept myself as a trans person honestly and publicly. For me it got easier each day and now i rarely think of drinking . When i do i know that just one would never be enough and that i'd have to endure all that pain again. That and what i learn in the rooms of AA has kept me sober. If you feel like you want a drink call a sober friend or pm any of us. You are not alone .

Hugs,

Charlie

[megandb]

A small update as of tomorrow ill be 3 weeks truly sober, its getting eaiser as time goes on but is still tough. I heard the first 30 days are really tough, and its bloody true. I do have help and I thank you all for your support and help, Ill prevail and get my 30 day chip in a week and ill keep going on.

Happily engaged to a same sex partner

Megan Jessica

[Guest Kaylee234]

That is so awesome! I wish I could do that.

~ Kay

[megandb]

That is so awesome! I wish I could do that.

~ Kay

You will get there hun, you seem to want to, thats all thats nessary to reach it. The diffrence between a dream and a goal is, a PLAN, make a plan to reach your dream and you have a reachable goal. Im pulling for you.

Happily engaged to a same sex partner

Megan Jessica

[Charlize]

We all are here for you Kay. Missed you tonight at the meeting on line. Just reach out and start like it's the most important thing in your life. It is.

Congratulations Megan!!!!! You go girl.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Kaylee234]

I was in chat from 8-8:30 last night but there was nobody to talk to and I was really tired so I just logged off and went to bed. I missed my Saturday meeting again this week too. I'm frustrated with myself and I don't feel like I'm making any progress at all.

~ Kay

[Guest Debbie_L]

Megan and Kaylee,

I know what you are going through, and I know that you are on the verge of an amazing and wonderful life. You see, I have been Clean and Sober for over 33 years (Date 5/19/1980). I was 24 years old and had already hit bottom by the time I was 21. For me the bottom was when I had lost my car, was living in a place with a murphy bed, and I was loaded and suicidal (because I knew I was transsexual and could not see any possibility of transition). I ended up walking home and swallowing chips of glass until I had almost a quarter pound of glass in my gut, including some I had ground into a powder.

I survived and realized that I was an Alcoholic and Addict and had to quit. I started attending AA meetings and for about 3 years was a "90 day wonder". I would get 90 days but then I'd stop working the steps and end up relapsing, usually just before my 6 month anniversary.

For me, the real turning point was when a man I knew came up to me and asked "how are you doing?" and I said "I'm OK". He said "--Censored Word-- Get Honest". I knew that I was transsexual and that nearly every aspect of my life was spend living a life of deception and misdirection, pretending to be what I wasn't and pretending not to be what I was. I really felt that I was one of those who did not have the capacity to be honest with myself or others. I told him "I will if you'll help me".

He not only agreed, but he shared his own experience of turning tricks on the steps of the state capital, and when it came time to share my 5th step, I tore out the last page, that described my being transsexual. We got to the end and he said "What, no pink elephants? I want to see the pink elephant!". I showed him the last page and he asked me to write some more. It was the first time I had told anyone other than my parents about wanting to be a girl.

I completed my first set of 12 steps by the time I was one year sober, and after I had spoken at my celebration, my sponsor said "We had taken a pool on when you would next relapse, and I took the longest time, 1 year. You just made me a lot of money.

I wonder what kind of odds he would have gotten on 33 years? But the one who got the biggest payoff was me. I went on to have a really wonderful life and even though I had some struggles, many because I hadn't been honest with my first wife before we moved in with each other, I ended up being successful in my career, my life, and have two wonderful children who know Debbie and love her. In fact, my daughter has already told me she can't wait until "Grandma Debbie" takes her daughter shopping.

If I told you everything that has happened in my life, you wouldn't believe me. However, this is nothing compared to what could be possible in your life. I know what is to be a young person in AA or NA, and how easy it is to think "I'm too young".

Ironically, it wasn't dying that scared me most. It was the possibility that I might do something stupid in a black-out that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. Realizing that I had grandparents and great grandparents who had lived well into their 90s, I realized that there was the real possibility that I could take a swan dive into 3 feet of water, snap my neck, and spend the rest of my life being flipped like a pancake. With my history of blackouts, I could have been framed for a crime I didn't commit and spend the next 30-40 years being the most popular "girl" in prison, getting raped daily.

Instead, I work all 12 steps at least once a year and do 10, 11, and 12 several times a day, usually each time I go to the bathroom. That's because it's easier to make amends for 30-90 minutes worth of damage than 1-3 days of damage. :-)

In sobriety, I have found a life of service to others, one that provides well for my needs and even provides most of what I want. I do what I love to do, and get paid very well for doing it. Most important, I have been able to start transition. I put it off for 20 years because I risked losing visitation rights if I continued (My kids lived in "Focus on the Family" country).

Welcome to a wonderful new life available in recovery - if you work it.

[VickySGV]

And welcome you too Debbie -- Yes, the honesty is the real kicker, I made 16 years "kinda honest" leaving out what you call the "last page" in your experience. Now with a new 4 years and 8 months +, and full honesty about my gender issues, oh yeah, and family genetics that go toward 90 years, I have a chance at 33 maybe this time. We would love to have you join us at 9pm in the Substance Abuse AA/NA Chat on Sunday's. If no one is hurting too bad, we also talk Trans* as non drinker/users,

Kay, relapse can happen, but you are the one who will take it hardest. Even with Debbie's longevity, it's never a sure thing unless you have help as she said, as Charlie, Michelle and some of the others have also said. PM either Michelle or me if we are on the forums and we can go have a shmooze over in chat or by PM. (Both Michelle and I are light duty chat mods as well as Forum Mods.) For that matter if its a crisis deal, let a crisis mod in chat know the problem, and maybe they can help you avoid the first drink that night.

[Michelle 2010]

Hi folks! I accidently deleted an early morning post on this thread and only now have time to get it in here.

for those that don't know, the sunday night chat started at 9 PM EST and usually ends at 1030, maybe a little earlier.Its unlikely anyone would be there before 850 or so...

Welcome Debbie, btw.... Sounds like you have been around a while. As Vicky said, love to have you join us on Sundays. Right now I gotta get to bed, long day working and ZI need to catch a 7am meeting

Michelle

[Charlize]

Kay, If you need to chat you can at the least PM any of us and we can go to chat or just PM for a bit. One thing we learn is that we can't stop alone. We all need help and helping others actually helps us as well. So please don't hesitate to reach out. Our hands are always reaching back both inside and outside of meetings.

Hugs,

Charlie

[megandb]

I was in chat from 8-8:30 last night but there was nobody to talk to and I was really tired so I just logged off and went to bed. I missed my Saturday meeting again this week too. I'm frustrated with myself and I don't feel like I'm making any progress at all.

~ Kay

Any time you are in chat look for me (MeganJB2000 or PiperH) or ask for me if im there ill have a nice chat with you, remember a meeting only needs two people.

Hope to talk to you soon

Megan Jessica

[gennee]

COngratulations, Megan. Each day gets a little better. Enjoy the moment that you are in. Take things a day at a time.