Does this mean I pass?

[Guest melanie maritz]

Today I dressed up, put on some makeup and put on my wig. Then I went with my mom to the store near us, and no one seemed to notice me. I looked down a lot because I was scared to look people in the face and see their reactions. I tried acting as cool and natural as I could. Next step is the mall! Lol, but I'll still be nervous. (>,<)

[Guest nomnomnom]

If you're anything like your display pic, then you pass...with flying colours. (you look totally CIS)

congrats on the successful day. It gets easier very quickly.

[Guest melanie maritz]

Thank you ! I'm so glad that I do! But a part of me still wonders if someone knew but acted like they didn't

[Guest Maria_B]

If they did know, and didn't say anything, take that as a win, as it means they have respect for you and your privacy.

[Guest melanie maritz]

That's true! (^,^)

[VickySGV]

What Maria describes is ACCEPTABILITY which in my books is a million times better than "passing". With "passing" only you are not even seen or noted as a person. A nothing. With acceptability, you are seen as a whole person whose differences make you special and unique. A happy thing!!

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Just going from personal experience here, if I saw a woman walking around a store with her head down, I would be more inclined to look at her because I'd be thinking "why is she walking like that?" and start looking for a reason why. So, pick your head up, be proud of who you are. If someone glances over at you in passing, just smile as you go past. Not a big cheesy "I didn't have any cavities at the dentist!" smile, just a casual "oh, hi there" smile.

Also the mall, in my opinion, is the worst. The last fear I had to conquer was at the mall. Not crowds, not big open spaces, I'm talking teenagers in groups. I used to be petrified of them, so I avoided the mall at all cost. Now, it's no big thing. I love the mall now!

[Guest Jenn348]

Just going from personal experience here, if I saw a woman walking around a store with her head down, I would be more inclined to look at her because I'd be thinking "why is she walking like that?" and start looking for a reason why. So, pick your head up, be proud of who you are. If someone glances over at you in passing, just smile as you go past. Not a big cheesy "I didn't have any cavities at the dentist!" smile, just a casual "oh, hi there" smile.

Also the mall, in my opinion, is the worst. The last fear I had to conquer was at the mall. Not crowds, not big open spaces, I'm talking teenagers in groups. I used to be petrified of them, so I avoided the mall at all cost. Now, it's no big thing. I love the mall now!

As with any group, the intelligence is inversely proportional to the size of the group. One scientist* theorized that oxygen depletion in a given area is to blame. The teenage rate of oxygen consumption is approximately 3.2x* that of the adult or small child, and exponentially increases with each additional teenager in the group. After 3 teenagers, critical mass is reached and a tipping point of mental disability coupled with aggression is crossed.

*These figures were made up, on the spot. I am the self-appointed scientist mentioned.

[Guest melanie maritz]

hahaha (^.^) I almost thought it was true lol. And you're right Lizzie, I shouldn't look down or avoid eye contact, that sends a bad message and will get me noticed in a bad way

[Guest Sarah Faith]

I was the same way when I started going out/full time. I've never really had many weird looks and definitely never had anyone say anything rude, the more I've gone out the more confident I have gotten. I actually went out to eat today even just after my laser appointment which causes a nice red area in the shape of a beard lol, still passed fine even though I looked like crap! Just do your think let people think what they want. You're very pretty you'll be fine I think.

Sarah

[Guest melanie maritz]

Yeah, people aren't really rude around here, I doubt they'd say anything mean but they can give the most hurtful looks if they wanted to. It was so cool to be myself in public!

I was actually quite dressed up, I had a skinny jean on, which I wear a lot but it's actually a girls jean. And I wore a loose fitting powder pink top that my cousin gave me, it looks surprisingly cool on me and makes my hips look bigger . And I almost wore high heels lol, but decided against it was so cold, so I wore my mom's boots and these cool earrings with black and white feathers. Oh, and I wore my wigs hair to the side of my neck, it looked cool at the front, but not so cool at the back because I'm not good at pinning my hair with clips and stuff

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Well if you want to wear heels during winter, which I did this year since winter basically lasted into may lol.. You can get high heeled boots, I have a really cute pair of boots with fur on them and they're a 3 inch wedge really cute and my first pair of heels ever.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Guest Deenah]

Umm,you look amazing in the pic for sure,and i would not doubt you if we met. When you walk with you're head down people will surly look at you wondering what the issue is.. Confidence is key...

If you do get those .. omg i cant do this moments,or the need to look down wile passing someone where you don't feel confident,adjust you're clothing or grab you're phone and check you're emails or something,but try not to just walk past with you're head down like you were just socked in the eye or something. It is really hard some days,that is for sure but don't let it get the best of you.

The mall... ugh... I still have a hard time going there.People are rude for one,and yep those teens are just awful.I would rather go shopping downtown in the city then the mall. There is a lot of little clothing stores here,and the women that run them are super nice,always call me miss or ma am. It may take a few visits before they understand who you are,but once you develop that relationship with them it is so awesome.

Some one that i won't mention here told me once that "when you're out and about just be confident,smile,and walk like there are 5 guys behind you" It took some time for me,but now i have people opening doors for me,and checking me out..in a good way

[Guest Melissa~]

Passing for me does generally include not being noticed. When noticed and I interact the correct pronouns and such aren't an a confusion. Finally as I have noted before I have an assigned work uniform, a male uniform. Passing is when I am still properly referred too when wearing my uniform IMO.

[Guest melanie maritz]

Well if you want to wear heels during winter, which I did this year since winter basically lasted into may lol.. You can get high heeled boots, I have a really cute pair of boots with fur on them and they're a 3 inch wedge really cute and my first pair of heels ever.

Hugs,

Sarah

That's a good idea, the heels I wanted to wear had straps and showed my feet, that was another reason I didn't want to wear them. My feet aren't very pretty. I did see the cutest boots at a chinese store yesterday, but I don't have enough money to buy them now.

Umm,you look amazing in the pic for sure,and i would not doubt you if we met. When you walk with you're head down people will surly look at you wondering what the issue is.. Confidence is key...

If you do get those .. omg i cant do this moments,or the need to look down wile passing someone where you don't feel confident,adjust you're clothing or grab you're phone and check you're emails or something,but try not to just walk past with you're head down like you were just socked in the eye or something. It is really hard some days,that is for sure but don't let it get the best of you.

The mall... ugh... I still have a hard time going there.People are rude for one,and yep those teens are just awful.I would rather go shopping downtown in the city then the mall. There is a lot of little clothing stores here,and the women that run them are super nice,always call me miss or ma am. It may take a few visits before they understand who you are,but once you develop that relationship with them it is so awesome.

Some one that i won't mention here told me once that "when you're out and about just be confident,smile,and walk like there are 5 guys behind you" It took some time for me,but now i have people opening doors for me,and checking me out..in a good way

Thank you Deenah, I'll try to remember that the next time I want to look down instead of in front of me those are some good tips. I won't pretend I'm on the phone though, because my voice doesn't match my face when I dress up.

Passing for me does generally include not being noticed. When noticed and I interact the correct pronouns and such aren't an a confusion. Finally as I have noted before I have an assigned work uniform, a male uniform. Passing is when I am still properly referred too when wearing my uniform IMO.

When will you be able to get a female uniform melissa? It's great that you pass even with it on, but I think you deserve to wear a female uniform

[Guest XFaelanX]

Yeah you have nothing to worry about. I wish I was as beautiful you are.

[Charlize]

You look great and if you are with your mom or another woman your never going to have a problem. Its easier to say than do but relax and be yourself the rest comes. i went to the salon yesterday and got a manicure and pedicure. the place was packed but a few smiles and some chit chat and it was better than ok. When i was talking to the manicurist about my grandkids she said i sounded like Mrs. Doubtfire. Did i pass? More important... does it matter? I'm accepted by others and am accepting myself as well. As an older woman i won't be young either but that doesn't stop me from trying to look as good as i can.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Melissa~]

Passing for me does generally include not being noticed. When noticed and I interact the correct pronouns and such aren't an a confusion. Finally as I have noted before I have an assigned work uniform, a male uniform. Passing is when I am still properly referred too when wearing my uniform IMO.

When will you be able to get a female uniform melissa? It's great that you pass even with it on, but I think you deserve to wear a female uniform

I'm not too worried about it, for now I am the only female in the department, that's part of why the uniform catalog was constructed that way. Other departments have uniform catalogs that reflect their staff, I will assume that the catalog for my department will be adjusted as needed in the future. On the other hand, the uniform isn't atrocious, I rank high enough to use the managers section, and some would call it unisex anyhow, though IMO it squarely falls into the male category.

[Guest melanie maritz]

Oh I see so if there were to be more female staff, there'd be a female uniform as well? but if it's unisex then it that's cool