A coming out timeline

[Cyndee]

Coming out is very personal, I strive to live an authentic life, I don't hide my past, there is no need to when you are this established. I am a disciple of "Paula's baby steps", this was some of the most valuable information I ever received from Laura's Playground, back when I first joined in 2010. Paula you rock !! Much of my success was hinged on taking a "go slow" approach. Laying the foundations for what was to come.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=8516

Long knowing I was somehow different, I dealt with this issue my whole life, and suffered terribly. It was my "dark secret" for so long, no longer. This post is a celebration, it's really good to live open and free, amazing.

1983 - My soulmate - she was to be my wife, the mother of my children, the choosen one, we met by chance in 82, love was natural, she had to know I had this "odd thing" for women's clothes. This was very difficult back then, I did not know very much about myself at age 24, it was very hard to admit to anyone back in 1983, I really cared for this girl, she had to know the truth. This turned out to be one of the best things I could have ever done. I had vision, even though it was cloudy and fuzzy at this point. Our marriage continues, our love continues, in an honest and open way.

2010 - My therapist - I finally sought help for this, it was killing me inside.

2010 - Joined Laura's Playground forums and posted on the public Internet about my issues for the first time, back then it was huge to speak of these things openly. I'll never forget those that first reached out to me, people like Carolyn Marie, Dee Jay, JenniferB, KimberlyF, Sarah Michelle, Opal, ChloeC, JaniceW, and others.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=25442&hl=%2Bmy+%2Bintro+%2Bpost

2010 - My daughters - They were 16 and 19 at the time, it was very hard on them, it still is really, love wins in the end however.

2010 - My mother, my mother in law, my sisters and by extension my nieces and nephews. I've lost contact with my Mom, she loves me, but does not understand, I told her I was a girl when I was 7 years old, and on other occaisons, she lives in denial today. One of my sisters passed away last month, her daughters turned evil on me after that, that signaled the end of contact with my Mom, it's all really sad, life goes on. My other sister loves me and her kids, all embrace me.

2011 - My sister in law - She was very understanding and supportive. She still is.

2013 - My employer - I told my supervisor, and HR first, then a small blast to wider audience, this is ongoing, i work with 1000's of people world wide. Our business has a gender expression non-discrimatory policy in place, I have the full support of Sr Management and HR, not to mention my close co-workers, I am so blessed. I've had a great career of over 37 years in IT, over 28 years with this company.

2013 - Government - I changed my name in court last month, and then state and federal governments with name and gender change, this is public record.

2013 - Band mates and old friends - Most of these folks are guys, i have dozens of friends that will know soon enough, some probably already do. Several of my band mates have ideas about me already. Lord willing Cyndi Rae will perform in public on 8/1 with my band.

So for those that fear take heed, I've lived 54 years on this planet so far, you don't erase that when you get to this stage of life, you embrace the change, you allow others to embrace you for who you really are, it's authentic living, it's not stealth, it's not hiding, it's also not offering any more than is neccessary. I've maintained much of what I have worked so hard for, and have gained so much in her freedom. It's 2013, this was to be the future, the future is now.

Cynthia -

[KathrynJulia]

Hey Cyndi

You and I mirror very similar lives it seems. We just keep going forward and sometimes babysteps were hard when we really wanted to take off running. We haven't won them all, but we have won the important ones and that's what counts the most. Keep rocking to the music of life my sister. Kathryn

[Cyndee]

Hey Cyndi

You and I mirror very similar lives it seems. We just keep going forward and sometimes babysteps were hard when we really wanted to take off running. We haven't won them all, but we have won the important ones and that's what counts the most. Keep rocking to the music of life my sister. Kathryn

I want to thank you Kathryn for your friendship here, if I ever make it back to your town, I would certainly like to look you up, and please feel welcome to reach out to me if you ever find yourself this way. You can appreciate how hard it was living with this during the period we grew up in. Today's world is much better, thank goodness for small miracles.

Best wishes

Cynthia -

[KathrynJulia]

Cindy:

I would love to visit you to. I'm going to be traveling to Los Angeles following facial surgery in a couple of months and I'm looking forward to meeting several of our friends from Laura's when I'm recuperating at my sister's house. We share so many similar experiences. We've lived in the closet, tried hard to live a normal life because society used to be so harsh towards us, and now with the internet providing everyone with knowledge within easy reach, we're coming out to live in the sunshine.

My kids struggle a bit with my transitioning, but they have supported me and are coming to terms that dad is a woman. My sister struggled at first, but sending her a book about our condition brought her on board. We both work support in the IT field and we both were long termed married. My marriage just ended and my wife is having mental issues that I hope she can pull out of. We're going to remain friends. This is a great time to be enjoying our transition and new life as the woman we truely are. Take care, Kathryn