Where am I?

[Guest AdenAngel]

I am so confused. I was in a relationship with a man for the last 5 months. At the start of the relationship he was completely okay with me being trans then he slowly dropped hits that he'd never think of me as a guy and because I liked him I changed. I completely changed myself I tried to be a girl for him. This wasn't exactly the cause for the end of our relationship as there were many factors we fought about that were completely unrelated. However, now that the relationship is over I feel extremely disorriented. I broke up with him just yesterday because of all the arguing -over small things.

But now I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am anymore and don't know what to do about it. I feel like I've set myself back by years in allowing this to have happened. I was so happy with myself before this relationship and ever since I changed for him, I felt like crap. I still feel like crap.

[Charlize]

I spent much of my life trying to deny my reality. i was married and my spouse "could not tolerate" me as a female. I did a lifetime of trying to please. I drank and suffered feeling wrong but guilty at the same time. A little over a year ago i allowed myself to come out completely. My wife has adjusted but most of all so have i. It certainly has taken time and for much of that time i was at best confused. At the same time it seemed 'right'. Give yourself some time dear. You have lost both a relationship and the identity that you had before. We are certainly made up of both genders. I will always carry the experiences of being a male for much of my life. I've learned to accept that simply by being honest with others and reaching out for help as i need it. We are here for each other. It is hard enough but finding acceptance of ourselves is even harder if we are alone.

thank you for posting,

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Aden,

Don't blame yourself. Try to get out and socialize with friends, contact a Gender Therapist quickly before tour thoughts get out of control.

These situations can often lead to Depression and Social Isolation if not corrected soon.

I would also recommend a Local TG Support group where you will be around other people that accept and love you.

Right now, I feel you need to be around people that care and love you including all of us here at Laura's Playground.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest Zayden]

Wow! I thought I had written this for a moment.

My husband hated my "male" side and every time I mentioned anything about it we would argue or he would tell me I was wrong. (there was also a lot of abuse there, may not be in your case!)

And I believed him up until a few months ago, about two months after he left me.

But having a therapist is good.