30 Day Chip

[Guest Kaylee234]

I picked up my 30 day chip at my home group meeting on Saturday.

I really don't have much more to say than that. I can't say that the past month has been particularly hard, but I also wouldn't say that it's been easy. Most of the time I don't think about having a drink, but there are definitely times I do. I was in a great mood on Friday when I got home from Texas, but then I picked up my mail. And in the stack of letters was one from the VA courts returning my second petition for name change. Now they say they want me to schedule an appearance before a judge. Needless to say, I was very upset and dissapointed. If I had a bottle of something at home I likely would have chugged the whole thing. Thank goodness I threw away my stash of sleeping pills. So I just went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

I'm sorry I missed the Sunday meeting. But, I had a date. So I think that's a valid excuse

~ K

[VickySGV]

Kay, my appearance before the judge out here was "uneventful" and I was in and out in less than 20 minutes from the time I entered the court room. It is aggravating but as I said a "non" thing. If it becomes a problem, there is legal support you can get, maybe "pro bono", a term meaning "free" from a TG organization I can refer you to.

As long as the Date was not Stella Artois, you will be fine. But we did miss you!! Glad the Texas was as good as you say it was.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Kaylee,

Congratulations on your 30 day chip.

Hopefully every day will become easier for you.

As for the judge, don't be upset. It is only a formality.

In NY, when I went for my name change, I also had to appear before a judge.

At the time, I was just Coming-Out AND did not pass well and the appearance before the judge went well.

Also, in NY they post your name in a newspaper when you Legally change your name.

I lived in NYC most of my life, and the judge had me list my name in such a small newspaper that I never heard of.

I would recommend that you dress normally, but neat..

Be Polite when addressing the judge. They are not out to hurt you or prolong your Legal Name Change unnecessarily.

Knowing you from here, You will not have any problems.

Hugs,

Carla

[Charlize]

I'm glad you made your 30. Keep it up. This transition thing takes patience for sure but if you loose your sobriety you blow more than that. I gave up all ideas of transition until i had managed to get sober for several years. Staying sober is the most important thing you can do and it was for me. PM me anytime if you need to talk.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest ~Emmie~]

Most judges I've had the pleasure to meet on a personal basis have seemed like decent people; they have better things to do, than deny a trans-person their name-change; namely, ruling over criminal and civil charges, and worrying about getting reelected. I don't see them judging you- like Carla said, be polite, dress professionally, and you'll have no prob. I wish I was at that point for a name change, sometime; being called my birth name by strangers is starting to irk me.

You'll do fine!

-Em

[Guest Kaylee234]

Thanks for the responses everyone. This is, understandably, a huge issue for me. It's really affecting my happiness level daily.

I'm thinking about consulting an attorney. The VA Dept of Health publishes a document listing Trans* resources by region, and there are a couple local law offices listed in the document. Even if I didn't need to retain a lawyer for representation at the court appearance, talking with one who had experience with these kinds of issues would help me deal with it. Maybe it really is just a case of the judge wanting to see me and determine whether I'm just trying to pull a fast one on the courts.

I just want to get this done. I'm full time in everything but name now and it grates on my nerves every time I hear someone say it.

~ K

[Guest CassieX]

K,

After talking to you on the phone a couple of minutes ago, here's the address of the Employee Assistance Program for Federal Workers.

http://www.foh4you.com/

There's a whole section dealing with free legal consults and discounted legal services for a variety of life issues and they will hopefully be able to assist you.

I'm sure there are other members here that will find this link useful, especially if they are Federal Employees like K and I, as it also has many other services and support listed on the site.

Hugs,

Cassie

[VickySGV]

I know that the Employee Assistance Program for State Employees out here also had that type of service that was great. Even some of our Employee Associations (Unions) had good reference programs, and also Employee Credit Unions sponsor Legal Assistance opportunities which include free legal consultation and reduced fees.

You want to look for and use resources outside yourself, and that is a huge step in recovery. I am proud of you.

[Guest Kaylee234]

Hi everyone. Just thought I'd check in. Yes, I'm still alive.

152 days Clean and Sober, just shy of 5 months.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday.

~ K

[Guest Sarah Faith]

That's great to hear Kaylee, I hope you keep it up!

[JenniferB]

That is fantastic Kaylee. I hope you really enjoy your home group.

Jenny

[Charlize]

That is awesome. Keep doing those days one by one!

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest erinanita]

152 days is awesome. One day at a time.

Erin