How We See Ourselves, And How Others See Us

[Guest MrAwesome]

ok, well, I noticed something. when I'm out in public, people always refer to me as a guy, cause that's what I seem like to them. But to anyone who knows that I'm physically a female, they see me, unconditionally, as a girl, no matter what I do. and I got sick recently, and and the past couple of days I've been seeing myself look almost tired when I look at it. It seems like it's different. But I know nothing changed about it magically. So I started thinking about this topic... the way we perceive things. From this one book I read I learned that when we process information it goes through a series of filters, like from our experiences and stuff. Rachel can be a boy OR girls name, but depending on who you talk to they may think of it as ONLY a girls name, or maybe perceive it as either, or may think of it as more of a boys name.

And if you knows someone as being "Female" like if you've known a person to be female all your life, no matter what, they're still going to think "Female" when they think about a person. and since I know myself to be sick right now, I look sick to me. XD but basically what I'm trying to say is you see what you look to see... what you perceive things to be.

So, perhaps we can use an argument similar to this when we tell people to refer to us as guys, etc. and tell them basically that their mentally ill, or that that makes their minds upsuperior to our own. XD so that basically means that we're better than them. I think that it would be funny to try.

Anyway's what are your guy's thoughts?

[Guest Zabrak]

The few people I've known for awhile had no problem accepting I was a guy - even my parents where cool with it when I came out. So I've never really faced the 'I could never see you as a guy' issue. I guess there where more signs that they picked up then I expected. My parents once asked if I was a lesbian lol. Of course I said no.

"I'm just a dude with chesticals." I didn't really say that but thats what came to mind.

Those who can't see you as male now may change their mind in giving time. Once you're on HRT(or IF you go on) and start living as full time male I'm sure people will come around. For now - if you can - I would ignore them.

[Sally]

I think that the people who have know you only as female and refuse to refer to you as male are sensing your insecurity. They know that you feel a little uneasy around them. Ihad the same problem with my sister, but I thinkit was mostly a fear that she wouldn't acceot it. I haven't come out to very many yet, but when I start on my hormones there will be a time when I will be forced to come out! When I am full time I think that she will see me as me, she istrying to understand and wants to be there for me, to bad she lives 160 miles away.

You ranxiety from being around people that have known you causes their reaction for the people who aren't trying to understand.

That's about as clear as mud, isn't it?

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sergei]

It's funny, because people that saw me that way before, but have spent a lot of time with me since I transitioned seem to find it easy to see me as male. But people that haven't seem me since I started hrt see the biggest difference obviously, but seem to still have trouble seeing me as male. To be honest with you though I have reached a point in my transition where I'm extremely comfortable with myself. I don't really care what people see me as. As long as they show me respect and use my correct name and pro-noun I don't really care what they are thinking deep down. I just think sometimes there are more important things in life to worry about. I know and have a strong sense of who and what I am, and that is all that matters. I think that jus comes with time.

[Guest Evan_J]

I think all three are right. A) Who really cares what they think B ) Its what they're picking up from you though that largely is influencing their issues with changing how they see you C ) As long as they come correct to your face, who gives two ...err....."poops" what they say behind your back.

The only thing I would add is "D) Quit thinking so hard". -I'm startin to smell wood burnin dude And I'd hate to have to ask Zabrack to douse you before you combust lol. (kiddin you lol)

[Guest Martin]

Yes, everything we sense goes through a set of filters. Depending on what filters someone has, they might not be able to see you as a guy no matter how masculine you look. This may be a sign that they are jerks or idiots, but it's not a sign of mental illness. Saying someone has a mental illness because you don't like the way they view them is like saying someone has a "physical" illness because you don't like the way they look like.

[Guest Little Sara]

The few people I've known for awhile had no problem accepting I was a guy - even my parents where cool with it when I came out. So I've never really faced the 'I could never see you as a guy' issue. I guess there where more signs that they picked up then I expected.

I've had trouble initially, with both parents. It went rather well over time with my mother. She came to accept me as her daughter. Her little girl My father however, still sees me as a "modified male" rather than a female. I cut him off though.

[Guest Jackson]

I think all three are right. A) Who really cares what they think B ) Its what they're picking up from you though that largely is influencing their issues with changing how they see you C ) As long as they come correct to your face, who gives two ...err....."poops" what they say behind your back.

The only thing I would add is "D) Quit thinking so hard". -I'm startin to smell wood burnin dude And I'd hate to have to ask Zabrack to douse you before you combust lol. (kiddin you lol)

Yeah, what he said.

Eh, there are some days when I don't give two hoots about how people see me (and sometimes I can see them trying to figure it out) and then other days I just want them to see me for what I am - a guy.

[Guest MrAwesome]

I think all three are right. A) Who really cares what they think B ) Its what they're picking up from you though that largely is influencing their issues with changing how they see you C ) As long as they come correct to your face, who gives two ...err....."poops" what they say behind your back.

The only thing I would add is "D) Quit thinking so hard". -I'm startin to smell wood burnin dude And I'd hate to have to ask Zabrack to douse you before you combust lol. (kiddin you lol)

I'll douse my self I'm a fire fighter, and as they say, I know how to use my hose. XD

[Guest Evan_J]

I'll douse my self I'm a fire fighter, and as they say, I know how to use my hose. XD

I like you. I'm appointing you as a jr. member on the cigar squad lol

[Guest MrAwesome]

Yes, everything we sense goes through a set of filters. Depending on what filters someone has, they might not be able to see you as a guy no matter how masculine you look. This may be a sign that they are jerks or idiots, but it's not a sign of mental illness. Saying someone has a mental illness because you don't like the way they view them is like saying someone has a "physical" illness because you don't like the way they look like.

not that they have a mental illness but that they are mentally inferior to us