Tell me my fear is irrational

[Guest Madison_Always]

Hey all,

So on Friday I'm meeting with another trans woman who lives by me. She has reccomended meeting up at a mall. I am not out to most people who know me and real talk I am not ready to be outed and am quite terrified of that..:/ I also think going to a mall and interacting with a bunch of people at once as my true self will be fun and good for me. I'm just quite scared of someone I know seeing me, but I mean I never see people I know places... are my fears irrational? I'm thinking about just reccomending we meet at a Starbucks or something. Ugh I'm such a chicken lol

[Guest Mia J]

Hello Madison,

Your fears are perfectly reasonable. I think most of us have had those same fears the first few times we went out. The only way to get over it is to just do it. It is good to start small like meeting for coffee with someone else. This is a big step and you will get more comfortable as you go out more. Please let us know how it goes.

Mia

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Madison,

Instead of going to the mall, why not meet at a TG Support Group or LGBT Center where you will fell more comfortable.

Here is a list of some TG Support Groups located in Florida.

Florida

Evolve Orlando - Web-based. Serves Orlando, Florida region. Includes Message boards, chat room, polls and a calendar.

Tallahassee LGBT Community Organization (The Family Tree) - holds monthly transgender chat meetings called 'Gender Chat' (times and dates are listed on their website). The Family Tree is located at 5126-C Woodlane Circle Tallahassee, FL 32303.

TransCentral Station of Orlando Florida - a general group for anyone in the gender spectrum and their SOFFAs. Meets the 1st and 3rd Tues. of every month at 7pm.
Full-timer's Group: This group is intended for those living in full-time in their preffered gender. Meets 2nd Tuesday of every month at 7pm. Both meetings are held at the Orlando GLBTCC, 946 N Mills Avenue, Orlando, FL. 32803. Phone : (407) 228-8272. Fax : (407) 228-8230.

Metro Wellness FTM and MTF support groups. Meetings are held monthly at Metro Wellness 3170 3rd Ave N St Petersburg, FL. FTM Meeting held on the 1st Wednesday of the month, MTF held on the 2nd Wednesday of the month from 7-8:30pm. For more information please call: (727) 321-3854 or Email Tristan : [email protected]

Gulf Coast Transgender Alliance We are a transgender support group located in Pensacola,Fl. (serving Pensacola and surrounding areas) The group is dedicated to providing a safe and empathetic environment for members and supporters of the transgender community to find resources, make new friends, and explore healthy ways of coping with a variety of gender spectrum issues. We meet the last Saturday of every month. Phone: (850) 483-0074. Email : [email protected]

Triangle Interweave Triangle Interweave is a Lake County Florida based organization, associated with the Unitarian-Universalist Congregation of Lake County, dedicated to offering a safe networking environment for the LGBTQ community, their families, friends and supporters; bringing awareness of LGBTQ issues to the public; and working for full human rights for all members of the LGBTQ community. The Triangle Chapter of Interweave holds a monthly peer-to-peer transgender support group. Meetings are held on the second Wednesday of each month from 7-9 PM at Unity Church, 826 E. Dixie Ave., Leesburg, FL.. Phone: (352) 223-0654. Email : [email protected]

Here is a list of some LGBT Centers in Florida, find one near where you live

http://www.lgbtcenters.org/Centers/States/Florida/10/LGBT-Centers.aspx

Initially, you could go as male, and as you get more comfortable you can transition your appearance.

Some centers have lockers available where you can go as male and change, attend Support Groups as a female, and before leaving change back.

I feel if you attend some of these Support Groups, you will get more comfortable in your appearance.

The first time going out is the hardest. It gets easier with time.

I am listing an excerpt from my Introduction and hopefully it will inspire you.

I also have to thank the compassionate residents of BOTH NYC and NYS for allowing me to “Come-Out & Transition” safely. I got rid of my car and use mass transit exclusively which also played a large part in my SAFE transition. The more I went out, and I didn’t pass well at the time, and I was NEVER discriminated in public my confidence and self-esteem increased to what it is today. I was so happy by the way I was treated in public I even sent letters to the Gov. of NYS, and the Mayor of NYC thanking them and the public for treating me BETTER THAN MY OWN FAMILY.

We always fear the worst, but the public is more accepting than you think.

I hope I have been of some help to you.

I wish you Success and Happiness on your Journey.

Please keep us informed about your progress.

Hugs,
Carla

[Guest Madison_Always]

So everything went great! I met her at a Panera near me and we talked for a while. Then someone I know actually came in. Can you believe that? Lol. He didnt see me but I got a little jumpy. After Panera we went to the mall and shopped a little, mostly window shopping . I just want to say how wonderful it is just to be. Not having to be anything/anyone for anybody else. Just for me. I was confident by any means going into it but by the end I was able to just be me and it was just wonderful. Here's a pic of me from the day.

http://i1358.photobucket.com/albums/q776/Madisonshine92/image_zpsf3a7247e.jpg

[Guest LizMarie]

Unless you present very androgynously, I suspect most people won't even equate your male self with your female self because they are not expecting that.

[Guest IreneT]

Hi Madison. Your fears are rational but that is what holds us all back with everything in life. Small steps lead to bigger ones but it’s time for you to meet the world because that’s where we live.

[Charlize]

Welcome Irene, You might want to post in the introduction area so we can get to know you better.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest DianeATL]

Your fears are normal and I certainly don't know what you look like presenting either way, but speaking for myself, I rationalize it like this. If someone had extended time with me like a conversation or elevator ride face to face or they compared pics of Diane to my male self, they could absolutely nail me. But, just a passing glance from a distance, they might think that woman looks a little familiar, but with no background or context to be looking for me, I doubt they would ever suspect it was me much less be able to definitively make a positive ID. If they did and approached me later, deny, deny, deny, and laugh it off. When I can I wear sunglasses as I did in the Pride parades this weekend. It is amazing how much harder it is to ID someone when you can't see their eyes. With all of the photos being taken I wanted to be a little careful if I ended up in the paper. It was a bright sunny day so sunglasses were appropriate anyway.

The voice is a bad giveaway so when talking to you friend in public, just speak in hushed volumes so that really only she can hear you and you will be OK.

Going out is great, a very freeing experience and once you get the taste, as you have, you will want more.

Way to overcome your fears and get out there.

Hugs,

Diane

[Guest Madison_Always]

Thank you for the supportive comments ladies.