National Coming Out Day: How did you?

[Guest JayGray]

Today is National Coming Out Day. I'm going to share Harvey Milk's words for this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UvZIoZNYTN8

I never understood "coming out". I thought that since I don't introduce myself like "Hi, I'm Jason, I'm straight," why should anyone else have to come out? That was over ten years ago; I didn't understand the notion of "privilege" as it's used now a days.

It wasn't until I heard a Harvey Milk quote that I fully understood the power of coming out. I didn't understand how it can make a person feel free, how it can make a person feel like themselves. I didn't understand how it educates and changes the narrative. I didn't understand how, to quote Mr. Milk, "every myth, every lie, every innuendo, will be destroyed once and for all" by coming out.

Only a few short years ago, lets say about fifteen, I was becoming something of a bigot. There were influences in my life that were leading me to be that way. Part of what saved me from that, and made me into the person I am today, was getting to know LGBT people. Their coming out made me realize that they were people, just like me.

Now, I don't think anyone should feel pressured to come out if they aren't ready, but I think Harvey Milk's words can give strength and a push to those who are almost ready.

I haven't come out yet, fully. I've come out to myself. I've come out to my wife. I've come out to a handful of friends. I'm going to talk to my mother very soon. I'm curious, though, how you all came out, or if you haven't came out, what's holding you back?

[Guest NatashaJade]

Gah. Coming out was never any fun. Every time I came out to someone, I felt like it would be the last time I would ever speak to them, or speak to them civilly. I had heard so many stories of rejection or anger or violence and so I feared the response of others. I feared their responses because just coming out to myself was so incredibly painful and difficult and if I had a hard time coming to terms with being trans, I had no reason to expect anyone else to be kind.

The first person I told was my spouse. I thought it might be the end of our relationship, but she has stuck with me through everything and while our relationship has certainly evolved (she's still a straight woman), our love for one another got us through some very rough times. So I came out to her and she never stopped loving me.

We told our best friend and she was relieved. She thought it was something much worse.

I shared with more friends and they offered love and support.

I came out to one of my older brothers on National Coming Out Day and he thought it might be a good idea if I stopped telling people...he tried to scare me back into the closet. He has since evolved his position.

We told my in-laws and they were concerned about our kids, but have always been loving and supportive (going so far as to lend me the necessary funds for my GRS).

I told my birth mother and she bought me a watch and gave me some earrings.

I came out to my oldest brother and he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

I finally came out to my father and step-mother. There were many emotions, but mainly my father was a little upset that he didn't get to rename me. But after some work with one another, they and the rest of my family have accepted me as their daughter and sister.

When I came out at work, where I am a public high school Theatre Arts teacher, my drama kids rallied around me, my boss eased my transition and the worst thing that happened was they gave me more English classes to teach.

Oh, my brother-in-law rejected us. But my transition was just the last straw and it while it was a loss, we don't think on him too much, even though we miss his kids.

But really, I hated coming out every last time I did it, but it was always such a relief because every time I was able to be honest and open with another person, a little more weight was lifted from my shoulders until I was finally free of any need to be anyone other than myself. I know I am exceptionally fortunate, but I am not alone in my relatively positive experience.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

I actually have very little memories of how I Came-Out, it just happened naturally.

The only memories I have are bad about my entire family disowning me and the Amb. Corps where I volunteered telling me I could no longer ride the ambulance unless I removed my red nail polish. That being said, I resigned from the Corps.

It should not have been a problem because we always had to wear gloves when providing patient care.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest JayGray]

Thank you NatashaJade for your post. So many times, people talk about people's courage for coming out. They talk about courage so much that when we feel fear at the idea, we might feel weaker than those who came before us. Knowing that you were afraid each time, yet largely relieved afterward, is a great comfort to me.

In honor of the day, I came out to my housemates (my wife and I live with four others, two of home just got married). I had to do it by mass text message, since I wasn't off work till 12:45 am and I wanted to say it the day before (also because, I've discovered, my deep voice is part of my dysphoria). They were all accepting, and all but one were super supportive (I'm not sure about the fourth's response, I'll have to wait to see him in person tomorrow). It was a real relief, and now I can wear shorts around the house (I've been hiding the fact that I shaved my legs two weeks ago).

Things are moving rather fast for me, but that's just the way I am.

[Guest Kylie2112]

I just made a moderately epic post on Facebook, then printed it out and posted it in the shop >.>

Nothing but support at home and at work.

[Guest Janice24]

I came out to my siblings over the phone (they lived in Florida at the time) and it was one of the scariest things I had to do. Though I wasn't rejected I do feel like I was none-the-less shut down (they basically think I'm a fetishist). The only other person I've told is a close friend who at least tries to understand (which is saying a lot since I have my own questions still).

I want to come out to my mom, but 2 things stop me. The first is the reaction the rest of my family gave me makes me uncomfortable. The second, more prominent reason is that I wouldn't be able to answer all of her worries. I'm not scared of her rejecting me, quite the opposite actually. I'm mainly afraid that, without proper explanation, I will only cause her undue stress and she has enough worries as-is.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I came out as bi-curious but that's about it.