Going to AA for the First Time

[JenniferB]

I've decided to go to AA for the first time on Thursday evening. It's called the "newcomers group". I figure it's long past time to get help and support. We are lucky here in Tucson in that we have over 240 meetings a month. I also stopped by the central AA office to pick up a couple hardback books (cheaper than Amazon.com).I picked up the 4th edition of the big book, and "The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.". I'm kind of excited about going. It's something new, much needed, and will also help start a network of friends. I think it will be a positive experience. BTW I was told by the lady at the central office to try and just listen first.

Jenny

[VickySGV]

Just listening, absolutely the BEST advice you could have received!! It can be a bit scary the first time, but even if you are just listening, you are playing an important part for the others. Joining in a greeting or prayer will be fine, if you can do it, but at AA meetings hearts are heard in the silences, and more is said in a face with bright happy eyes and a coffee cup to the person's lips than you would ever guess. Go and experience and you will be back, if not that meeting then another one.

[KathrynJulia]

Good for you Jennifer:

The pressure that you have lived under this year has been brutal Jen and often when we live under that kind of stress something has got to give. In your case, you are bending instead of breaking. You are showing that you've got grace under fire. It's going to turn around for you now. Kindest regards Jennifer. Kathy

things

[Charlize]

I'm so glad for you Jenn. AA changed; actually i should say saved my life. Please enter with an open mind. Listen and try to hear the similarities not the differences you hear in the stories or shares.

It is an amazing program. It works, it really does.

hugs,

Charlie

[Michelle 2010]

The guy who took me to my first said, "Identify, don't compare.... and, take what you need and leave the rest..." Both good advice. The guy that started my home group said, "Just keep coming back...More will be revealed." He was right too.

Glad you are willing Jenn.

Michelle

[Guest Opal]

I want to wish you well on this and on future meetings should you decide to continue.

Huggs,

Opal

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Good for you Jenni.

Each step towards happiness is a very good step

Love

Brenda

[Guest erinanita]

Jenny,

Good to hear that you've decided on going to AA. I agree. Silence and just listening is definitely the way to begin.

Hugs,

Erin

[JenniferB]

I just got back from my first meeting.

For the bad news, it ended up being a meeting where members could smoke, and over half of them did. So I thought about walking out, but I am too polite to do that, so suffered through it. Of course now I will have to go through a partial cigarette withdrawal because I quit smoking about 10 years ago, and when I get around cigarette smoke I always go through a partial withdrawal.

For for the good news. I really enjoyed the rest of the meeting. When people tell their stories you can feel the spirit working. It has a magical presence that uplifts everybody there. You can see why people want to be there. It helps cleanse the soul. Plus after hearing other members stories, my problems don't seem so bad. There are people there that there was no way they could get out of their situation without a higher power. You can see that power working. You actually leave more at peace. I had a desire to drink when I arrived, and not far into the meeting the desire was gone. I took the advice given and only listened.

I received my 24 hour token, and plan to get my 30 day token soon. Most of the meetings are for smokers, so their are only a couple sessions for non-smokers. So I might have to find another group a little further away.

I have to say I'm glad I went. I"m sure I can find the right meetings somewhere in the 480 meetings a week, in 140 different locations in Tucson.

I really think my life is going to change, or is changing.

Jenny

[Guest LoveBeingMe]

Jenny, your doing the right thing. When I quit, a couple people tried to get me to go to AA. I was too stubborn, didn't want to sit around listening to a bunch of drunks. (Too much testosterone in me in those days!) So, I did quit on my own, (with a lot of help from above) but, I lost all my friends and pretty much became a hermit. If I had it to do over, I would have gone to AA, at least I wouldn't have been alone.

I wish you the best, you've taken the first and hardest step!

Hugs,

Alana

[VickySGV]

Alana -- it is never too late to start AA even if you have been dry for a while. In time you will gain a bunch of friends, just as you would have, and they will be as special now as the would have been then.

[Guest erinanita]

Hi Jenny,

It's great that you went out to your first meeting. There was never any doubt that would enjoy it. AA shows us a new way of life. We see the changes that people can make in their lives through following a twelve step program and finding a higher power. Since starting back to AA three weeks ago and getting a sponsor I just can't get enough.

As for the smoking, don't trade one addiction for another. It's just not worth it. Like you said, in a city the size of Tucson there has to be non smoking meetings. I know. I used to sit in meetings and watch the level of smoke come down from the ceiling. It was time for me to leave when the smoke got down to where I'd be in it when I stood up. It has nothing to do with being polite. Resuming a smoking habit to relieve yourself of a drinking habit makes no sense.

Do yourself a favor and find a meeting without smoke. And you'll enjoy it so much more. Keep coming back!

Hugs,

Erin

[JenniferB]

Just got back from my 2nd AA meeting today. It was a lot different. It was far bigger for one. Last night there was 10-15 of us, and this afternoon about 80. I found last night more intimate, but I learned things in both. The one today I had to go because it was Friday afternoon, and my desire to drink was really strong. I had to really fight the urge. By the time the meeting was over, the urge mostly left me. I think I'm safe for the rest of today. This is saying a lot because I can count on one hand the number of Fridays where I didn't drink this year. I doubt i will be going back to this specific meeting because, at least for now, because they were talking about step 4, and I'm on the first three steps. That doesn't mean I didn't learn anything.

What I'm sensing is the 12 steps really do work if you take them seriously. I've heard stories about people who changed their life after being in prison, losing relationships, getting off the streets. One of the common threads is how AA has saved their life, and how their life has changed, and that they would never trade the life they have now for their past.

I talked to a wonderful lady after the meeting, and told her I wanted (needed) to go to a meeting every day. She told me she had been going every day for 34 years, and that going every day is a good idea, and to look around for the meetings that work the best for me. She specifically told me about one on Sunday that is for LGBT people, and her favorite meeting place. Plus I should be able to find a very good sponsor there. Yes, one thing I've learned the last couple of days is how important a good sponsor can be. A good sponsor can help teach what each step really means, and to offer different perspectives that may not be considered. The key to the 12 step program is to be honest and reflect on each step, and not to skip, or take a step lightly. Just in the last couple days I've seen people talk about miracles that they could have never achieved on their own.

Now to look where I'm going tomorrow. I've already started to make friends, maybe I can make a few more.

Jenny

[Charlize]

Jenn, i just got back from a GLBT meeting where the Topic was Joy. One of the guys there got his 31 year coin. I love the rooms of AA. I can go into a meeting feeling like doggie drizzle and come out smiling. I've gotten to know some groups really well and that is great. All hugs laughter and support. I'm so glad to hear someone has started to really think about doing the work. If there was a softer easier way i sure didn't find it. What i did find was sobriety and a life beyond my wildest dreams that just keeps getting better.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Michelle 2010]

I think you may be on your way to a life you couldn't have imagined Jenn

Hugs

Michelle

[JenniferB]

I'm Jennifer and I'm an alcoholic.

I've read a lot about step 1. There is more there than I thought. I was thinking about how I do reach a limit on how many drinks I consume before I don't want anymore. But, the struggle this weekend when I had the urges made me realize I could not do this alone. Today I had a strong urge to go get a six of beer. But I really want to make this work. So I prayed to make this feeling go away. I felt a power that did take away the urge, and replaced it with a sense of peace. I think it's because I'm sincere in that I want to quit. And I really didn't want this urge.

So instead I hit the gym, worked on the vacuum and the car (driver's side door handle needs replaced). Things I would not have done if I went drinking. I know there is so much to learn, but I really need the help, not just for not drinking, I believe that's a symptom, but to bring hope and balance in my life, instead of feelings of depression, despair, and worthlessness.

Jenny

[JenniferB]

I won't be talking about my AA journey in this thread anymore. If you want to know what is going on, I started a blog.

Jenny