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hi my name is Ruby. Iam a MtF I am hoping to figure out myself. I just really want to be a girl but my parents will not allow it in thier house. I tried to tell them once before that i was a woman trapped in a mans body but they sent me to a cousler that tried to convince me otherwise. So i just told my parents that i did not feel that way anymore. But now i feel so much more strongly and i do not know what to do. I feel like running away from my parents so i can start my new life. Any advice? Please help i am desprate and do not want to do anything stupid.

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Guest Donna Jean

Hi, Ruby!

It's nice to have you her with us!

Gee, I know that you won't do anything stupid! You're WAY smarter than that....right?

Tell you what....sit over here and have some hot coco with me...here's a plate of cookies...the fire is warm and you may take off your shoes!....OK?

Good......

Now...a therapist should not try to convince you of anything..they just guide you and let you find what you need...

Are you talking about a school counsler? That is prolly a different story....what you need is a Gender Therapist...

That's where you want to go....they will help you find yourself.....

I'm sorry that you had to be dishonest to preserve the peace and say it was gone now...but, that is only a temporary fix.........you have some peace now, but you still have the problem! Geez!

How old are you, Ruby? I'm ____.lol, sorry..thats classified!

Maybe some of us can be of some help here...stick around and more of the others will drop in to say HI soon....OK?

Breathe deep, Sweetheart...there are answers!

XXOO

Donna Jean

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Hi there Ruby,

Or should I say, "Howdy!" and offer the secret handshake to a fellow Texan.

Donna Jean is so right a Gender Therapist should never try to tell you what you are or aren't, they should just try to help you find your way/

It is still up to you as to how far you want to go.

You live in Texas and that can be good or bad when looking for transgender help.

Where do you live in Texas?

Don't be too specific - just general areas, like Houston, Dallas- Fort Worth, The Panhandle, San Antonio, Austin that way someone would really have to work to pick you out of the 3 plus million people in some of those areas.

Maybe I can help you .

You are 4 more posts away from being able to use the Personal Message system, but if you look around, you'll find things you feel a need to comment on.

We are all here for you and I happen to be in the neighborhood, well if you consider an area the size of five North Eastern States a neighborhood.

Welcome and if you need something a little spicier, I've got some chips with salsa and some queso.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Irielle

Hi Ruby!

You have met wonderful ladies already.

They are right, a gender therapist is the first thing and a must-do.

It sux when we have to lie about ourselves. We have to do it sometimes just to survive. But know this - you won't have to lie forever.

But don't do anything that is unsafe or that might make you lose a roof over your head!

I ran away once. It was stupid and I got hungry. Here, have some more cookies and cocoa. More people will be by soon!

Iri

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Hey Ruby,

I was looking for this on again and I noticed that it was in the biography section - I've moved into the regular introductions forum so more people willl come bay to say hello.

It' dinner time, would you like some fajitaus?

Just watch how quickly they all find you now.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Kelly Ann

Hi Ruby, Welcome to Laura's...that is such a terrific name...one of my all time favorite Ray Charles songs and one of my Grandma's sister's name too :) First running away from home is possibly one of THE worst things you could even consider. Ruby...you may make your parents confused, unhappy and even a little upset and/or angry sometimes but they're probably always there for you too...hmmmm have they ever done that to you? I would imagine they have...you've forgiven them too I'll guess...and maybe you even have to really think of it to remember just what 'whatever' might have been. On your going forward side...they took you in to see someone to talk to about your feelings...you saw a bully and he made you uncomfortable. Be honest with your folks...they have already shown how much they love you. Give them the benefit of your love too and talk to them about how you really feel. It's difficult sometimes being so honest...most people would rather have a 'little white lie' than the truth...you write like you need to speak the truth to those who REALLY care about you. You always have friends here Ruby, Kelly Ann

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Guest April63

Hi Ruby, welcome!

I hope you find help here. Anyway, it looks like you need to investigate yourself. Find out what you truly want and need. I guess that's the point of a gender therapist, but I don't have one of those, and your parents might not let you see one, which means you'll need to do it by yourself until you can get ahold of one.

April

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Guest Jackson

Welcome, Ruby.

Seeing your introduction reminded me of a favorite song of mine "Ruby Baby" by Dion. I had to track it down after I read your post.

Listen to all these lovely ladies and their advice. I would just say that in this day and age it's incredibly difficult to make it on one's own especially if one is under the age of eighteen. Heck, it's hard enough to make it on my own and I'm a ways over eighteen.

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Hi Ruby

You need to be truthful to your parents no matter how scared you may be. Tell them you lied to them and have to talk to a therapist. a gender therapist. Try to understand how scared they are for you and your future. This is a very frighting problem for parents . They want you to have a happy normal life explain to them that you can. A normal person will never understand what you are going through because their mind and body match. They always think it is about having sex or something weird, but people change their bodies all the time for lots of reasons only when it comes to this do people think it is crazy but it's not. Also some times a therapist will challenge you to see how much you really want to change. Stick to the truth-your truth not theirs.

doodle

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Guest Naomi Stardust

hello Ruby

like the name!

advise?

careful what you wish for, you're going to get a lot of it!

seriously, i don't think that running away would make anything better for you

it'd just create new problems

some of them worse

just remember

everyone here cares

and we're here to help

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Guest Amanda L Richards

Hi Ruby,

That is a really nice name, and a beautiful color. But not least, it is a most beautiful gem. You have that name for a reason, it fits in your heart does it not. If you answer yes, then that means somewhere inside you believe that you are really a gem.

THe advice that you will find most valuable is the advice that you find in yourself, Ahhh but how do I get there you may ask, by taking all of this wonderful information from these fine people, which will provide you with some options that yo may or may not have already known. Somewhere along the way you may find that someone says something that just clicks.

When that happens then you begin to see many more options in your life and you will be able to chose the right one that fits you perfectly especially for you.

In other words what I am saying is while you are here, sit back and enjoy the company, ask all the questions that you can think of cause guaranteed there is someon that has had the same problem that you are facing now. Take the time you need and relax for now and bide your time untill the answer comes.

IN the meantime, you can polish up that shine that makes you the gem you are, and by doing so your mind will start to clear. I can guarantee that you will start to feel at ease the more you are here.

That is the only advice that I can offer. I had faced the same problem at home too, but what I did I wouldn't suggest it to you, or anyone because it may not work for you or fit your particular stituation.

I hope you feel better, even though this may be more of along term suggestion.

Talk to you soon and good luck

Amanda LR

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Hi there Ruby,

Or should I say, "Howdy!" and offer the secret handshake to a fellow Texan.

Donna Jean is so right a Gender Therapist should never try to tell you what you are or aren't, they should just try to help you find your way/

It is still up to you as to how far you want to go.

You live in Texas and that can be good or bad when looking for transgender help.

Where do you live in Texas?

Don't be too specific - just general areas, like Houston, Dallas- Fort Worth, The Panhandle, San Antonio, Austin that way someone would really have to work to pick you out of the 3 plus million people in some of those areas.

Maybe I can help you .

You are 4 more posts away from being able to use the Personal Message system, but if you look around, you'll find things you feel a need to comment on.

We are all here for you and I happen to be in the neighborhood, well if you consider an area the size of five North Eastern States a neighborhood.

Welcome and if you need something a little spicier, I've got some chips with salsa and some queso.

Love ya,

Sally

Hi there sally. I live just north of Austin in a little old place called Round Rock.

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Hi Ruby

You need to be truthful to your parents no matter how scared you may be. Tell them you lied to them and have to talk to a therapist. a gender therapist. Try to understand how scared they are for you and your future. This is a very frighting problem for parents . They want you to have a happy normal life explain to them that you can. A normal person will never understand what you are going through because their mind and body match. They always think it is about having sex or something weird, but people change their bodies all the time for lots of reasons only when it comes to this do people think it is crazy but it's not. Also some times a therapist will challenge you to see how much you really want to change. Stick to the truth-your truth not theirs.

doodle

I have tried to talk to my parents and tell my parents the truth. But they just seem discusted at me and will not get a real gender therapist. the therapist i am seeing now is no gender therapist.

Link to comment
Hi, Ruby!

It's nice to have you her with us!

Gee, I know that you won't do anything stupid! You're WAY smarter than that....right?

Tell you what....sit over here and have some hot coco with me...here's a plate of cookies...the fire is warm and you may take off your shoes!....OK?

Good......

Now...a therapist should not try to convince you of anything..they just guide you and let you find what you need...

Are you talking about a school counsler? That is prolly a different story....what you need is a Gender Therapist...

That's where you want to go....they will help you find yourself.....

I'm sorry that you had to be dishonest to preserve the peace and say it was gone now...but, that is only a temporary fix.........you have some peace now, but you still have the problem! Geez!

How old are you, Ruby? I'm ____.lol, sorry..thats classified!

Maybe some of us can be of some help here...stick around and more of the others will drop in to say HI soon....OK?

Breathe deep, Sweetheart...there are answers!

XXOO

Donna Jean

No sorry i am not talking about a school counsler, i am talking to a regular cousler. It really is not fair that you do not give me your age but anyway i am only 18 years old.

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Guest Elizabeth K
No sorry i am not talking about a school counsler, i am talking to a regular cousler. It really is not fair that you do not give me your age but anyway i am only 18 years old.

:o I will out Donna Jean - 59. And I am 61. We call ourselves seriosly senior. I am sure she was teasing you.

Ruby - I went to UT Austin - I know where you are in Texas - I love that area! But I settled in New Oleans years ago although I was born in San Antonio - good to have you here! :D

And you DO have a situation sweetheart. I think many here gave you some good ideas - and all I can add is it seems just about IMPOSSIBLE for you younger people to get the parents to listen! I don't know why exactly, it may be a 'me parent, you kid" thing as I have said before. Your hope is to remain adult about it no matter how childish you parents get. They are in denial - you are - to them- in a phase- and - to them - will just come to your senses and grow up as that man you appear to be. :huh:

That will never happen. They will finally understand - but you must not lie - reaffirm what you originally said - that what you say is truthful and non-negotiable. And tell them if they want to find out the truth and stop deceiving themselves, they will find a gender specialist therapist. ;)

Otherwise, you will have to ride it out. You will eventually become empowered and you can take action on your own. I would NOT try to leave - it could result in a disaster. Probably 'will' result in a disaster that will put you way behind where you need to go. :o

Remember - BE THE ADULT no matter what happens. :P

Lizzy

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