Step 3

[JenniferB]

That really is a tough step for me. It's hard to give everything to a higher power when you can't see the rewards in action. In my past I did go to church and understood God to a degree, but wasn't willing to give up the pleasures over doing "Thy Will.". Looking back I don't think I was ready. Part of it had to do with just jumping right into a church and doing what they said without question.

Now I think I'm ready because I've matured in that I have more of a sense of right and wrong. I examine things, and don't accept things without question. Everything should be questioned and tested. So giving in to the higher power is my own free will. That makes a huge difference. I realize this is the step that's help me back for all of my life. Living life on my terms hasn't worked, so it's time to test the higher power and do his will, and see what happens, and to go wherever it leads me. I've already felt more inner peace today than I've felt in a long time. It's not that I haven't felt the peace before, I just was ignorant, failed, wasn't ready to take the next step. BTW it was my sponsor who helped me see this.

What I'm finding about AA is that it teaches true Christian principles better than any Christian church I've ever attended. Imagine that.

Jenny

[JenniferB]

I just got back from my home group meeting. There is a feeling there I've never felt before, except for maybe at home where I grew up. I am genuinely glad to see the members I've met at the meeting. It's more than just being acquainted, it's a feeling of joy that they are there. I'm now wanting to go to the meetings to see others than for myself. I've never experienced this before. I know it's only going to grow and I can't wait to go back. I always feel lifted up after the meeting. Another thing I'm feeling is I'm finally growing up and becoming more responsible.

Jenny

[Michelle 2010]

My perception in the early days was that AA took out the middle men in the spiritual search; that is, the priests and religious structure and dogma. The pyramid is flattened. We find we don't need to go through a priest or religious organization to find god. Religion is shed like a skin and a purely spiritual journey begins... We find that the only thing that can block our access to god is........ our own Ego and Self Will. People who I learn from taught me that God is always there, always transmitting. It wasn't that "he" wasn't communicating, it was that I wasn't tuned to the right frequency. Sounds like you have a good sponsor Jenn.

Btw, If three turtles are sitting on a log, and one makes a decision to jump in the water, how many are left on the log?

Hugs

Michelle

[JenniferB]

There are still 3 turtles on the log. Making the decision to jump isn't the same as actually jumping.

I can see where the 12 step program can literally work for any addiction. Addictions are rooted in selfishness. Only when you are humble, and willing, can you find the higher power. AA is only a guide to achieve this. The first thing I noticed when I attended a meeting for the first time is the humility and gratitude of the people there.

Jenny

[Charlize]

One thing that i say to myself and to my spondees who have trouble with letting a higher power take over is…. How much time do you spend on making you breath, making your heart beat or in the digestion of your food. We are completely powerless over the most elemental functions. As infants we give that up to a higher power. As i look at my life i rarely see anything that i'm rely in control of. I can fight and push but the results are often beyond me. I need to accept and move on doing the best i can for myself and the others whose lives i touch. At some point i will be taken by something greater than myself just as i appeared with any effort on my part. Opening to the presence of a higher power takes the burden off of my shoulders and i can begin to feel peace.

Meetings are a highlight of my life as well. Working with others both in and out of the program is a result of that highlight.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest]

I enjoyed spending time on Thursday with my new sponsor. We had a picnic lunch together. It is so cool that we are spiritually on the same plane. She is currently more active in her church than in AA. I am very active in AA and not currently involved in a church. Neither approach is wrong, we both have a Higher Power. She has passed the twenty year mark in sobriety so church is a very natural progression.

My early conceptions of God given to me by a fire and brimstone church, that damned me to the hell of alcohol and drugs to get relief. That whole divisiveness and my skewed interpretations nearly killed me more than once. It was not until I became a parent did my Higher Power became much clearer. God was not ever trying to punish me. As with my children, I love them unconditionally, don't always like what they do, never hating them. I try to mold them and instruct them to do the right thing and live happy lives. My Higher Power wants those exact same things for me. AA made it all so much easier to understand. I don't have any axes to grind with churches for the most part, but AA does a better job of making sense of it all.

On the ride home from the park, I asked her if she had ever seen a Recovery Bible? She stated she had one. I said me too! We giggled and talked about what we have found in it. If one is curious about the Recovery Bible, It paraphrases all parts of how the Big Book relates to the Christian Bible. It's a great read and available at any serenity book store.

Jennifer, I'm glad you found the program and are enjoying it so much. Charlie and Michelle always have great things to share. They are my rock. Hug. JodyAnn

[JenniferB]

I hope I didn't make the impression that I was against churches. That is not the case. I actually looked for some churches last week I felt I might like to attend. However I decided against it, for now, because AA is enough on my plate to deal with.

Jenny

[Guest]

No I didn't think you implied that. As for me and church, I rest on the old advice; When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I'm not quite there yet. But the Recovery Bible is really cool though. Hug. Jody

BTW I think it is sooooo coooool you are in the program. JA