I Can't Believe I'm Asking This

[Guest HeatherW]

Okay...this has been absolutely baffling me...if the stalls are all full in a women's restroom, do you wait IN the bathroom or outside? This seems like such a silly question but I'd hate to find out that there was some kind of etiquette that I was unaware of.

Also some happy news on bathrooms, I had a little conversation with a woman in one today (some comments about the restaurant we were in) and she didn't seem to notice anything amiss with my voice, so confidence boost there

Thanks in advance for answers

Heather

[JJ]

In as long as there is not a line that goes out the door and it is a multiple stall restroom. Women don't like to hang out outside a restroom if they can help it

Conversations in the women's are a very normal experience -congratz on the voice passing too

JJ

[VickySGV]

Poke your nose in and if there is room to stand so that people can get to the toilets and the wash basins without having to push past you or bang you with their gear. then standing inside is fine. If someone is going to have trouble getting in or out, then wait outside. As Johnny says, smiles and nice things to say to others are a benefit that goes a long way.

[Guest HeatherW]

Okay, that was the assumption I was operating under, I just would've hated to find out that me standing by the stinks was skeevy after I'd been doing it for a year.

Thanks

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Wait inside if there's room. If you let out a frustrated sigh, everyone else waiting in line will totally understand.

[Charlize]

Sometimes the line just moves from out to in so just join the Q. If the stalls are full take a place and be #1 in the new line. Don't forget everybody has to go.

I sometimes share my son's saying that he understood why they were called restrooms after a stop during a long drive. Gets some smiles.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest ChefErik93]

looks like you're doing it right women's restrooms can be interesting. from what i understand very different from men's. women talk and socialize...do make up and primp in the restroom together. that is why they take longer men however, don't seem to make eye contact or even recognize the others while in a restroom. good job with the voice!

Erik

[Guest Kylie2112]

looks like you're doing it right women's restrooms can be interesting. from what i understand very different from men's. women talk and socialize...do make up and primp in the restroom together. that is why they take longer men however, don't seem to make eye contact or even recognize the others while in a restroom. good job with the voice!

Erik

I'm still having trouble with trying to uphold "Bro Code" in the ladies' room...I just can't help it, but I, for the life of me, can't have a conversation in a restroom...even with close friends! I think restroom etiquette primers are a must for anyone going through social transition because yes, it can get very awkward very quickly.

[Guest Jaques]

i always thing when women have to stand in line to use a toilet, the architect who designed the building didnt allow enough in the way of facilities - i think women should let them know and pee on the floor, lol!

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hey Heather

Congrats on your voice and socialization.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

but I, for the life of me, can't have a conversation in a restroom...even with close friends!

I'll admit, it was very awkward at first. I just went along with it. I figure they've been socialized longer than I have and if they're doing it, then that's probably the way of life here in the other tribe. It's not something I do regularly, that's for sure.

What's really weird is having a conversation with a friend in the bathroom (like you're washing your hands and she's still talking to you from inside the stall) and then another person overhears the conversation, adds something, and now all 3 of you are having a conversation in the bathroom! *)

[JJ]

One thing I've really noticed that I never see mentioned anywhere is how noisy men are in the restroom. Not verbally but bodily. Women are socialized to suppress bodily noises in every situations-even the privacy of a toilet but men clearly are not. The other thing I noticed is how much less graffiti there is in the mens. That surprised me. I suspect it is because it isn't a social place. Maybe it's a regional thing but even in gas stations-which I avoid whenever possible because they tend to seem to have not had their regular semi-annual cleaning lately-there has not been graffiti amid the debris

And I do not miss those lines-in the last couple of years I think I have seen one time the mens was full-I don't use urinals so I just walked out-but it was just a couple of minutes till it was empty again. Even at a rock concert where the womens had lines snaking down the hall I walked right in the mens. All in all I'm happy with the change.

Johnny

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

One thing I've really noticed that I never see mentioned anywhere is how noisy men are in the restroom. Not verbally but bodily. Women are socialized to suppress bodily noises in every situations-even the privacy of a toilet but men clearly are not. The other thing I noticed is how much less graffiti there is in the mens. That surprised me. I suspect it is because it isn't a social place. Maybe it's a regional thing but even in gas stations-which I avoid whenever possible because they tend to seem to have not had their regular semi-annual cleaning lately-there has not been graffiti amid the debris

That's confusing because in my experience (of truck stop restaurants) there was always a lot more graffiti in the men's room. Some times I'd pick the one with the most graffiti because it gave me something to read while I was in there.

Ladies, rejoice! At Blizzcon recently in Anaheim CA (convention for online games made by Blizzard like Warcraft, Diablo, Starcraft), the line for the ladies room was practically non-existent, whereas the line for the men's room was very long. All my girl friends who went to this didn't hesitate to point out how great it was that for once there was no line for the women's bathroom.

[Guest ChefErik93]

I've never really been able to hold a conversation in a bathroom either lol

[Guest ChefErik93]

I'd like to ask a complimentary question. (Let me know if I should just post this in a new forum). But what is this "brocode" people speak of? Or...what is the proper etiquette of a male restroom? Like I said...I can post this question in a new spot if it would be more appropriate

Erik

[JJ]

The answer from what I observed is simple and actually makes the switch easier for us in some ways. You go in and do what you have to do and leave. No talking -I've been spoken to twice in a men's restroom in over 2 years-once was a compliment on my shirt and it startled me so much I jumped and the other was a comment wishing me luck finding something that worked in a particularly nasty Walmart bathroom. Most men don't even make eye contact when they pass each other much less look at what anyone else is doing. Once in awhile friends together may continue a conversation but men going to the restroom together is rare too and you very seldom hear that either.

Johnny

[Guest ChefErik93]

thank you johnny! i'll keep all of that in mind!

Erik

[Guest Kylie2112]

One thing I've really noticed that I never see mentioned anywhere is how noisy men are in the restroom. Not verbally but bodily. Women are socialized to suppress bodily noises in every situations-even the privacy of a toilet but men clearly are not. The other thing I noticed is how much less graffiti there is in the mens. That surprised me. I suspect it is because it isn't a social place. Maybe it's a regional thing but even in gas stations-which I avoid whenever possible because they tend to seem to have not had their regular semi-annual cleaning lately-there has not been graffiti amid the debris

And I do not miss those lines-in the last couple of years I think I have seen one time the mens was full-I don't use urinals so I just walked out-but it was just a couple of minutes till it was empty again. Even at a rock concert where the womens had lines snaking down the hall I walked right in the mens. All in all I'm happy with the change.

Johnny

Hmm...in my experiences, men's rooms have always been these foul, defiled spaces (especially in the way of graffiti) while ladies' rooms seem to be far nicer (even within the same rathole...the ladies' room at the Palladium in Worcester is the worst ladies' room I've ever been in, and it's still nicer than a lot of men's rooms I've experienced...and let's just say I'm glad I'm not FTM and have to use the regular toilets at the Palladium...I think there was some leftover seat in the whizz there...).

And in more upscale locations, the men's room seems to be a place to poop with no frills, while the ladies' room has nice scented candles and special soaps (along with more mirrors). Kind of "industrial" vs. "artistic" design

And Johnny, I don't miss the (literal) bowels of Hell in the men's room

[Guest meagan]

I have not yet experienced the ladies room line up myself. I do see lines all the time, just never when I need to go. The strange thing I see here in Whistler, is a Starbucks with its single washroom next to a public washroom with 5 stalls. Starbucks always has a huge line of women waiting while the one with 5 stalls sits practically empty. In my short time of 6 months of using the ladies room, I have noticed they are cleaner. There are outlets around the mirrors in some ladies rooms I have used, which I have never seen in mens. In mens rooms, I would not be able to tell you what another guy had on or his hair color, but in the womens I notice tops, jeans, purses, shoes, hair styles, eye shadow, accesories and get comments on what I have on as much as I comment on other womens items. Also, most guys did their thing and walked out. Women, do their thing, double check themselves, wash hands, then walk out

[Guest Jaques]

I always remember feeling embarrassed when i used to use the ladies toilet and went in with friends because a lot of women when in there with their pals sit on the seat and leave the door open whilst theyre peeing so they can talk to others in the room - i really wasnt comfortable with that - nor sitting on a public toilet seat, yuk!

[Guest HeatherW]

I always remember feeling embarrassed when i used to use the ladies toilet and went in with friends because a lot of women when in there with their pals sit on the seat and leave the door open whilst theyre peeing so they can talk to others in the room - i really wasnt comfortable with that - nor sitting on a public toilet seat, yuk!

I understand!! I went into the bathroom with my friend and we just kept up a conversation the entire time and I was just stunned. Kind of a culture shock, coming from the men's room where it's taboo to so much as make eye contact.

[Sakura]

I think rest rooms illustrate fantastically the differences between male and female socialization. The environments of both facilities are like night and day in how the occupants in side act. Even though both are used for the same thing.

It has been a very long time since I have used the male facilties. I forget some of the proper codes of conduct for male rest rooms. I do remember how ever, the no talking rule. First time a woman spoke to me in the rest room kinda did shock me " Do i awnser back ? Is it ok to awnser her back? " Female rest rooms are more like a social hub I now realize . Like at work if you want to talk to another female co-worker in depth about something, on company time. The rest room is were we do it.

You are handling the situation correctly though.

[Guest kristy1961]

*lol* What a great thread this is actually

Bro Code in the public restroom: Just grunt and a nod of the head or a simple hey. Very few men converse much while taking care of business. And what conversation that does take place, is conversation that I've been able to do without just fine ( really it doesn't take that much imagination to guess what it is about ).

Get in/Get out,

Hand washing apparently is optional :-O I can't believe the number of guys that don't !!! ewwwww!!!

Look straight ahead or up, never down and to the side,

Yup, that is about it, ignore the sounds and smells, in and out you will be fine!

On the other hand, I haven't given the queues and the socializing much thought, and since my voice needs "lots" of work, I guess I had better

[Guest LizMarie]

LOL! I've been doing the male thing all wrong my entire life? No wonder some friends and even my eldest son look at me like I'm crazy.

[Guest Luuceee]

I see it often at work with some of the guys they go in, wash their hands, do what they have to do and then walk out. It shocks me everytime that they hardly ever wash before leaving. Utterly disgusting.