Can Transgenderism be tackled?

[Guest Burning Spirit]

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

[VickySGV]

At 16, I had a lot of ideas on how I could conquer the world and have it groveling at my feet. That was half a century ago, and I never made it there. Thus said, I am not one to give you guarantees on any attack on your GD. My signature line tells you where I am today. That is not a guarantee you will end up where I am when you reach my age, but you see my problem on long range evaluations. My suggestion is to find an adolescent medicine center in your health system where you can get counseling without necessarily spilling the beans to your family and work one on one with a therapist, hopefully one who knows about gender issues. It will depend on exactly how strong and how directed your Gender Dysphoria is, what you can do about it. I admit that I have never heard of anyone controlling all of it by meditation, but I do not know everything. I would be concerned though that it could take so much of your time, that you will do nothing else for the next eighty years. Consider Gender Therapy as a first line of attack.

[Michelle 2010]

I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I suppose we all face the issue of what we are going to do with the time we are on this planet, whether we are Trans or not, right? So becoming our true selves sounds pretty worthwhile to me. I think that most of us take the journey because the pain of staying the same outweighs the perceived risks involved in change... If you can lead a relatively content life by adding meditation then bless you. I knew i was "different" at 16 years old, but I really knew nothing about what price I was willing to pay down the road. Both the world changed over the years and I became more determined to be my true self. I'm glad I did, but it certainly is not without risk. Its good for you to know that if you enter the world of transition that there are resources available, and people who will accept and love you when you enter that world. It is also equally important that those new people in your life will probably be replacing ones who may not stick around....

Ultimately, you will simply know whether your strategies are working or not, and know whether you need to make changes.

Best wishes

Michelle

[Guest ~Brenda~]

This all takes time dear, more time than you could ever know.

I like the C++ book as your avatar

Love

Brenda

[Charlize]

"I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't."

I so remember this feeling! You may be 16 but you have recognized and verbalized a problem it took me 60 years to understand fully. My mind just simply said "impossible don't go there". I have and am glad i held on. There were certainly bumps and they may still occur when i least expect them but i am finally me. I'm living with a woman who i love as i a woman, being and chatting with women as one of them instead of being the "male threat".

You have realized the problem at a good time in your life. Take your time but do try to speak to a gender therapist and create a plan for yourself. The pain you fear is in the future, if it even happens. Live today and move forward step by step in the day. You will progress along your path before you know it. Life takes place over time and starts with that step of taking a deep breath and letting life happen.

I've got your back.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest MorganaPendragon]

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

You can do both. You can identify as a woman/want to be a woman and still love women. I do. When I see a beautiful woman, especially one I truly admire and respect, I think that I want to be with her and like her. There are cisgender women who like women. Gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation.

[Guest LizMarie]

I don't know if you need to transition and I'm certainly not suggesting that you do so. But it's not courage. It's a recognition that this is the only way left to be able to live a meaningful life. And definitely don't transition if you don't feel the need. It's hard. It can be expensive in certain aspects. It's not a cakewalk at all. And it doesn't solve any problems except related directly to gender dysphoria. Transitioning won't turn you into an extrovert, make you popular, pretty, or desirable. What transitioning does do (for many of us) is take the angst of gender dysphoria off the table.

If you need to transition, you'll figure that out eventually and figure out a way to make it happen. In the meanwhile, good luck with your meditations. It never helped me control GID but maybe it will for you.

[Guest erinanita]

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

It took me over fifty years to transition. Though i knew in my teenage years I wasn't a male, I continued trying to be one until I just couldn't find an alternative. I never thought of meditation. Maybe it will work for you.

I don't know that it was courage that I needed to transition but I am now fully aware that many of my peers got really messed up looking for any possible way not to transition and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I wish you luck with whatever route you choose to follow but if the feelings just won't go away don't fight them. Just be who you are. For yourself.

Love,

Erin

[Guest Hunt]

I can relate to some of what you said because i spent a long time (and still find myself) just feeling angry at the world and feeling like its unfair that i was born in the wrong body.

I dated a lot of men and could never understand why i never liked them as much as i thought i did. Until i realized i wasnt romantically attracted to these men, i wanted to be like them.

I meditate but i have never really meditated on this subject because i feel like it would be painful. Of course that is just my own fear and insecurity.

Good luck

[Guest Melissa~]

One has to measure the relatively known perspective of living with dysphoria vs the unknown risks of transition. There are always losses in transition. After I determined I could be TS, the consistent problems managing my dysphoria was destructive in ways showed that the problems of transition would be worth it for me.

I know others that have transitioned did it because they were having suicidal thoughts or actions and also decided therapy and then transition was a better route than continuing life exactly as it had lead them to that point.

[Guest meaenglsh]

i've been meditating very effectively for 50 years. during that time i hid everything about my trans way of life. in fact i did not know the term transgender. i professed a male persona and raised a family to be macho and conservative in their outlook. then about 5 years ago i had a seachange. it came over me and i realized what i had been denying myself. all while meditating.

i don't think meditation can nullify this action within you. it might enhance your will power which will allow you to proceed with nullification. but eventually it will bring you down to earth and the realization of your own power, whatever that is. I practice TM. but i read a lot. Meher Baba thought that trans was an evolutionary technique to help people evolve faster by helping them see both sides. in the Ramayana trans people are praised by Ram and fortold that they would eventually rule the world. heh.. we can't even rule ourselves at the moment! anyway.

the most interesting thing i have had happen to me relative to your statements is my frustration in dealing with women. i had the same wanting to get close and etc. then i got on hrt with spironolactone. all the sex drive went away! genetic girls still seem beautiful to me but really.... i can do without all the desire involved. i actually resent being considered a male somewhat at times. and i glory at when i pass. but it doesn't mean much. what is coming is coming and i am settled and ready for it.

that is meditation. it settles and prepares you for action.

[Cyndee]

If your 16 and feel this way, strap yourself in, it's gonna be a long road. Meditation is a wonderful tool, listen to your mind, what is it telling you ? How will you live with this ? Search the answers yourself, find those that are uniquely yours.

I will comment to Meaenglsh's post above. What she says is true for me as well. Suppressing T brought so much more clarity of thought when it came to being with or admiring beauty in other women. It was no longer this "biochemical based obsession". For someone that has dealt with this for as long as I can remember, this simple change solved so much of the "yearning". I love the feeling of being one with my inner woman without T messing up the experience ! It really helps and how I relate in the female world that I inhabit. It is more that I have become one with them, like them, not apart from them, cis woman are so much more friendly and open to someone without those "hungry eyes".

Find peace within yourself, that is the answer.

Hugs

Cynthia -

[Guest GinaInside]

Hi Burning Spirit,

Your dilemma is very understandable. When I was your age, I thought I was going to die because I'm TS.

Trying to fight it only brought lots of pain, misery, injuries, etc, by trying to be hypermasculine.

If you are truely feeling the way you say, please consider seeing a real gender counselor, it may save your life.

I wish you all the best,

Gina

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

Hi Burning Spirit,

You may have already read the others' opinions, and they're probably better then mine, but I'll give my opinion.

You have to look to your needs before everyone else. You have to do what is right for you, what makes YOU happy. I'm not even going to quote specifics. From your whole post, it's screaming to me that you are itching to be a girl. And not being one is killing you. I feel the exact same thing. It hurts me mentally to look at myself in the mirror and see myself as this male. I'm not what I see in the mirror on the inside, and it doesn't seem like you are either.

Coming out is nowhere near easy, it's the hardest thing in the world to come out to family, and those around you that have known you for years, even decades. it will be nearly impossible for you to tell others with confidence that you area trans gender without you believing it yourself. You have to accept yourself. once you do, you'll be a little happier, a little stronger, and a lot more confident. Being trans* is a beautiful thing. You shouldn't bury it like I did for 22 years and feel half there, and half alive.

These are just my opinions, because you asked what we think. Maybe blunt, but still my opinions. In the end, you'll do what you want to do. I'm just speaking as someone who's been there, who's still there. I've only just accepted that I'm a female with a male's body. So we're nearly in the same boat.

Good luck,

Natalya <3