Part FtM, part Androgyne?

[Guest genericgender]

So I'm kinda confused. I call myself a transguy. I used to identify as a transguy. But sometimes, I just feel so... I don't know... in between I guess. Like I'm not a guy or a girl. But more masculine. Maybe I'm just genderqueer. I just don't know.

[Charlize]

I don't think you really have to have a label to be happy dear. When i transitioned after 63 hearts as a man i thought i would only do things female. Wrong!!!! I have learned since then that i can embrace my male side as well. I still work the farm and find joy in the old jobs and activities i have always done. The in between feeling is actually quite wonderful even though at first i felt it was all or nothing. Try to embrace both sides of you without feeling there is anything wrong in doing that. Regardless of what we do we are linked to our past and what we learned there helps us, if we let it, have a better present.

Hugs,

Charlie

[tracy_j]

I would agree with Charlie - I feel I am neither one nor the other completely and find I am very happy being neither or either.

To me I am really moving toward thinking that a name restricts things too much as its meaning in practice depends on the definition one may apply which often differs between social groups.

Tracy

[JJ]

We have been so socialized in the gender we appeared to be that I think confusion and mixed feelings are inevitable for most of us. In time mine resolved and I changed seeing myself as part female-my identity isn't but my socialization is and the effects of E for decades changed who I would otherwise have been. So I have a feminine side to my personality that I accept. It isn't my intrinsic identity but it is definitely a facet of my personality if that makes any sense. I have to decide how I want to handle that based in how I want to be perceived and the comfort of anyone with me. For instance yesterday I was waited in by a woman who was exceptionally well dressed for her coloring and body type with perfect grooming besides. As a female I would have commented on it and complimented her. As a male it would be seen as odd around here and changed her perception of me and my daughter who was with me would have been uncomfortable with that She is not homophobic but knows that is not who I am and it makes her uneasy when I do something from past socialization that makes people label me as a gay man. In that case I chose not to say anything. But it made me very aware that I have a vastly different background from most guys and sometimes I will have different reactions. Doesn't make me less male-just perhaps more rounded in my responses. And sometimes I will chose to respond out of the norm -others not.

You may well be genderqueer and there is nothing wrong with it. Or it may be socialization causing confusion. Sometimes there are things I miss about living female. But because I want to live and be seen as the male I have come to know I am I have to chose. The nice thing is that it is your choice how to express who you are and want to be perceived though it can be quite a challenge to get there if you chose binary. The important thing is just to accept and celebrate who YOU are.

Johnny

[Miss_Y]

Thankyou for posting this! And thankyou all for your great replies. This has helped me out today.

But since I'm posting let me add some thoughts of my own.

I think it's true that we're all a little androgynous, irregardless of what our true identity is I think we naturally all have a little of both. The other side of this I think though is it's really hard for us to tell how much of what we perceive as gender is truly a matter of gender and what is actually a matter of our social views and stereotypes. One such example of this is when I was a child I remember hearing a good bit about video games only finding popularity or appeal for males, yet now I do not think I have ever walked into a gamestop and not seen at least one cis-female on staff (or at least more often than not I see at least one female). There's a certain amount of a stereotype that games will only appeal to males (and a big debate on the reassonings for that stereotype), but in reality there are many gamer-girls and I know plenty of boys who think gamer-girls are hot as well. So I think that sometimes we also assume a certain quality must necessarily be a masculine or feminine one, when in reality we've just been taught to think that way.