Trans Relationship Thing

[Guest MorganaPendragon]

I am a transgender woman who likes women. I want to be in a relationship with someone. There is a problem though. I only want to be in a relationship after I change my sex. I don't want to be in a relationship with a woman as a man. I could only be satisfied as a lesbian.

[Guest Melissa~]

So you have answered your own question as far as I can tell...looks like a dry spell for a while. I personally looked at transition as an time to adjust the people I associate with. I lost some friends relatives and my ex. Dated and had to dump a lady, and now am SO's with a forum member(see my gallery.)

I am pre-op, but not for too much longer. I really don't think that should be a huge impediment to developing a long term relationship. It's always been a life goal to be married for life and I was disappointed my ex needed to leave me.

BTW hello from a fellow Missourian.

[JJ]

There is a wide spectrum among us in this area. I envy those who can have physical relationships as they are. I don't think I really can either. It is a big conflict.

I keep hoping the right person will come along and I will be able to adjust. I am straight but the issue isn't straight or gay really but a basic conflict between what my brain dictates to me sexually and the physical realities that confront me.

Not closing any doors or burning any bridges that way but I do understand what you are saying all too well though from a different direction

Johnny

[Guest MorganaPendragon]

So you have answered your own question as far as I can tell...looks like a dry spell for a while.

But, I feel so crunched for time.

[JJ]

Sometimes I really feel that and start to get anxious-especially since I'm about a decade and a half over my life expectancy according to the Drs. Then I stop and tell myself I have today. And that is all anyone has.

So I get as much from today as I can and try to live in the moment celebrating what I have-not to say I am always able to do that or that I don't whine a lot about my problems sometimes too-but basically I manage it a lot of the time and it has made my life much. much better. I live today and plan for tomorrow as if it will come but at the same time I don't live FOR it or count on it.

It is enough for today that it is better than the past and I am living free even if not as I would like to be or having what I want. Who knows what will really happen tomorrow? Or who has tomorrows and who doesn't?

Johnny

[Guest LizMarie]

Why are you crunched for time? Once I understood that my spouse was leaving me I made two decisions. The first was that I would remain open to whomever approached me and if it "clicked" I wouldn't say no, regardless of whether they were male or female. The second was that I was not going to define the rest of my life by whether or not I found the right person for me.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'll be a bit disappointed but my life will still be mine going forward.

[Charlize]

I haven't given up on anything but have learned to relax a bit. I feel fortunate to have a rather low drive made even lower by HRT. I am not at all unhappy about being able to not feel at all crunched. I enjoy the peace that having a mate but not a huge drive has afforded me. Life is a more pleasant place in many ways. Take your time and enjoy whatever may come your way.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Penelope]

...I was not going to define the rest of my life by whether or not I found the right person for me.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'll be a bit disappointed but my life will still be mine going forward.

Having lost a partner to cancer this year I have had to carry on regardless. I find that the above resonates with me.

Hugs,

Penny

[VickySGV]

At my age, which will hit the second half of my 6th decade in two weeks, I have been single longer the second time than I was the first time. I was married at age 25 in 1973, Divorced in 1984, and have been single ever since with only a couple of nibbles in the 29 year fishing expedition. What do you mean Crunched for time??? I am alive, interested, available, but still single and have just put the importance of pairing up way down the list of things to do. I don't even remember or think about what my orientation is which is a load off my mind. I do flirt from time to time, but danged if I remember whether it was boy or not boy las time.

Slow down and don't sweat the deal of who you are going to bunk up with, as said above, if its gonna happen, -----

[Guest LizMarie]

Partnering with another transwoman would work, if that was your primary preference, Megan. Some of us, after coming out and working with our therapists, realize we might have other preferences. I freely admit I'm bi but I'll also admit I have dreams about men now.

[KathrynJulia]

I went through a very cordial divorce a year ago, and didn't, feel burned by the experience. Instead I've gone out and made quite a few new friendships with both cis and trans woman. My sex drive is very diminished at the time due to being on HRT, so I'm truely more interested in developing good friendships. If a relationship occurrs, I'll be open to it. But I'm happy no matter what happens down the road. Under no pressure and I love it. Kathryn

[Guest 1alise1]

I turned 63 in sept. Married but not sure for how long. We still have sex but as female to female, She enjoys it , so do I,but she has made the statement befor,,(I'm not a lisben) so I can't be dressed as a woman even thought she knows I'm doing it as a woman..It doesn't a lot of since to me.This has been going on for months but I still think she is going to leave me.. She said quot.. I can't stand to see you dressed up as a woman.. wow.

[Guest Lelia VA]

I've had many of the same feelings about relationships. I decided that as a woman I was probably a lesbian but certainly bi curious. I have had a few friends with whom I might have become intimate and may still in the future but so far I am still celibate as a female. It takes a while to develop trust in others and yourself!

[Guest ricka]

Gosh! It's been ages since I posted here on LP though I read the threads regularly. But thought I'd post to this thread, so here goes. First of all I'm 65 girls and I've lived alone for a long time and was totally resigned to spending the rest of my life without a mate. Not that I was unhappy or especially lonely. I have a full, active life which I'd say has been almost idyllic. And to be honest it would always seem like the men who showed an interest in me were married and that was just not my thing. Well anyway, to make a long story short I meant Paul who is twenty years my junior and we started going out several months ago. I was wary of becoming romantically involved with him as I'd had my heart broken more than enough times. We found we enjoyed being with each other, had many common interests and it didn't hurt the cause that he was quite handsome. I also liked that he accepted me as a transgendered woman. And I loved that he had a kind and gentle way about him and was thoughtful. The first time we had sex I can tell you that for me is wasn't all that. However in time when I did find I was falling in love with him that changed big time for me. At this point it feels like the energy just seems to flow between us being together enjoying each other's companionship. There is no predicting how our relationship will continue or for how long but I am very much enjoying it in the moment.

Ricka

[Guest esoterickayos]

How many of you are still with someone you were with before transitioning? I am a SO of someone who has just realized they are trans. I love him and I'm not going anywhere. I just want to connect with others in my situation. Thanks in advance.