A Small Truth I've Discovered

[Carolyn Marie]

in another thread I talked about my orchiectomy. That was more to do with the process and physical results. What I want to talk about here is the psychological impact.

The mental and emotional impact of GRS/SRS is well documented here and elsewhere. Transwomen talk about how it makes them feel to be a "complete" woman with (most of) the equipment of natal women. They are usually happy, if not euphoric. I'm happy for them, and wished that I could experience it, too. But I knew what my decision was regarding surgery, and did not expect to have that emotional release from a "mere" orchi.

Orchiectomies are not often discussed, perhaps because they are not as frequently performed as GRS. But I have found that, for me at least, the psychological impact of my surgery is nearly as profound as that experienced by those who have the more elaborate surgery. I truly feel more complete, more feminine, more at peace with myself, than I had ever expected. I feel more self confident as well. I believe that new found confidence is enough to get me to wear a bathing suit this summer, and to wear tighter slacks, and know that I won't be bulging in all the wrong places.

The bottom line is that, if you decide, for whatever reason, to go with an orchi rather than GRS, it shouldn't mean that you won't have that wonderful feeling of completeness. It is not the same as having the right "equipment," but having a lot less of the wrong "equipment" is a pretty damned good thing all by itself.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Drea]

I have always spoken of individual needs and argued against the one fits all solution of "transition". One of the accepted big variables in describing transition is SRS or not.

You illustrate here great satisfaction with your choice. Maybe the "right equipment" as you said could be more complete, but maybe not. It is only more complete for someone who has that specific need.

No doubt that your experience is not unique. I have known many who have had Orchi. Some wanted just as a step towards SRS, but most found it alone satisfying and a number who intended it to be a step towards SRS decided they were perfectly fine with the orchi.

And you know, seems to me that this more than qualifies as GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery). As I have stated in the past GCS doesn't have to be just SRS. I hope your docs see it this way too and for any purpose you may need such a letter, it is available to you. Less and less such affidavits are needed so maybe it is superfluous.

Congrats.

[Guest BeckyTG]

Carolyn, thanks for putting this up.

It's entirely possible that the wonderful feeling that many claim came right after GRS was really more the result of the "orchi" than the other cosmetic surgery.

Your words demonstrate that there is no one fix for everyone. We are all different and can be satisfied with different solutions. The solution itself is not as relevant as the peace of mind that results.

I'm happy for you and encourage you to "get in the water, girl".

If there's any one problem I see about our situation it is the people who think they need to rule the community by insisting that everyone agree on things.

The only thing I'll ever agree on is that it's a marathon, not a sprint and that we each travel this road until we each reach the point at which we find peace out of the turmoil.

Thanks for putting up your thoughts and I'm happy to see that you're happy.

You go, girlfriend!

[Guest LizMarie]

Every single person needs to tailor their solution for their needs. I am glad you were able to do what you needed to do, Carolyn.

[Carolyn Marie]

Happy surprises are always welcome. Thanks for the support and understanding, ladies.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Tamar]

[Guest Brenda Hailey]

The bottom line is that, if you decide, for whatever reason, to go with an orchi rather than GRS, it shouldn't mean that you won't have that wonderful feeling of completeness. It is not the same as having the right "equipment," but having a lot less of the wrong "equipment" is a pretty damned good thing all by itself.

Thank you for explaining the feeling you have after your surgery, it is a welcomed addition to my own thoughts of what transition can ultimately mean for me to whatever degree that is.

I am finding more and more that everyone IS completely different almost in every single way being transgender. There truly is no set prescribed ANYTHING. It takes alot of searching and introspect just to begin the first step which in almost all cases is completely different than the next persons first or last step. We were all created unique even as trans. And for some less is more.

Brenda Hailey

[KathrynJulia]

I've given what you have written some thought Carolyn and I wonder if whether we have an orchie or GRS, if it isn't the removal of testosterone that brings out peace and a calming feeling. Anne Vitalle PhD, in work she researched theorized that the higher the testosterone level a transgendered MTF has, it blocks receptor sites thereby increasing dysphoria the higher the free T levels get.

I had low T levels in my early thirties which contributed to a lowered libido. I tried to fix the libido and started taking testosterone shots. As the dosage increased, dysphoria, anger, depression, agression and anxiety increased and I never achieved a good feeling with increasing dosages. Anne explained that your brain wasn't receiving the hormones you needed dysphoria would increase. I visited my doctor yesterday and they were really busy with very sick patients. I felt guilty because I felt so great. My labs showed 20 micrograms of T and a 317 for estradiol levels. No depression, anxiety, anger. I feel great. I feel calm. At peace with life. A chemical orchie if you will.

I'm going to try to get insurance to cover GRS but if they say no, I'm going down to the Urology Department and talk to them about an orchiectomy. Time will tell. Kathy