Relearning Mannerisms

[Guest Keane]

Saw mention of this in another topic, I just wanted to ask transguys that are a little further in transition what mannerisms that are common living as a female do we need to relearn? I went to a new counselor yesterday and she specialized in glbt, she's super cool, but anyhoo she said i still use feminine mannerisms. and I'm sure other guys wanna know about this too :] Any suggestions?

[Guest Zabrak]

I'm sorry, I think I'll just never understand this. It's either the fact theres no transfriendly counselors for me to talk to or I'm just confident in the way I act. I honestly don't care and the girly and manly mix I have I like. Maybe it's because I've dated a bi guy for so long that he makes me confident in my own mannerisms after watching him.

However, if you're looking for pointers on 'whats girly' and 'whats manly' then I'm sure Lizzy will come along with a huge list. *Runs away before she gets here* LOL

[Guest Evan_J]

While you're waitin on Lizzy, here's a good one:

http://peoplerelationships.syl.com/communi...ps/bodylanguage

Feel free to start at about "arm movements" lol everything before that is preamble. Oh and uh, its not on there (as I'm sure much isn't) but if you take a urge to look at your nails do it with your fingers bent and the ends facing you not holding your fingers apart and splayed.

This site was cool cuz it gives compare/contrast if you follow the fushia links. Men vs Women from a book by Dr. Lillian Glass called He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/2052/genddiff.html

[Guest Cody_T]

That was interesting... I do most of the things on there already (some with the express intent of acting more masculine) but I couldn't put them into words. I do a lot of things by feel, and how I approach mannerisms is the same. I can make myself seem more masculine, I can't tell you how I'm doing it. Maybe you can do that too... like, spend a lot of time with a guy you want to emulate and absorb things? I know it's not actual instructions, but it might come more naturally. I just try to copy my dad's demeanor and it works pretty well. And I think in general, the less movement of the face and arms, the better.

okay, this isn't entirely applicable (and it's all your fault Evan, for mentioning the nails)... but has anyone played the man/woman test? There are four actions, and based on how you do them you're either a boy or a girl. I failed it (by which I mean I did all boy ones) a few years back, and thought it was stupid, but now that I think about it, it was actually somewhat realistic. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Because if you do, I'd really like to know the fourth thing. Looking at the fingernails is one of them. I did it the man way, my brother did it the woman way, and the people we were with laughed about that for the rest of the day

[Guest Keane]

See what my problem is as well is that I'm a kind of flamboyant gay guy.... So this screws me up a little with the mannerisms. What a gay guy thats sort of masculine would do XD

[Guest Kelly Ann]

Hi Keane,

It's sort of a giggle for me, I NEVER thought of this question. I suppose the feeling of warmth and being the only one in the world that metters? ERm matters? SOOooo Numero Uno...Make her FEEL like there is nobody else...ever. Look into their eyes and if it's right make a move. Make sure you have a great comeback from a 40's flick just in case it happens...your a GUY...it WILL happen...LOL, Kelly Ann is giggling, generally...

[Sally]

Men are in general a much greater fan of gravity than are women.

What does that mean?

When a group of women are standing around talking most of them will hold one or both arms with thier hands above their waists - men let their hands drop to their sides or put their hands in their pockets - they have to be doing something with their hands for tham to be above waist level.

The whole toilet seat thing is based on women's hatred of gravity - it is much easier to put a toilet sit down than to raise it - fighting gravity.

You think is's really about trying to sit down and finding the seat is up - it isn't who in their right mind goes to set their bare bottom down somewhere without at least glancing at where they are 'headed'?

Remember as a man gravity is your friend as a woman it is your sworn enemyand you will fight it for you r entire life- if nothing else at least you can wear a strapless dress!

Love you guys,

Sally

[Guest bronx]

I have always been me, b4for and while I'm transtitioning, I 've been on T for almost 2yrs, and living as a man for 10. I don't worry about mannarism ans such. I'm Angel a man and that's THAT!!!

[Guest Cody_T]

You think is's really about trying to sit down and finding the seat is up - it isn't who in their right mind goes to set their bare bottom down somewhere without at least glancing at where they are 'headed'?

apparently, I do! I have literally fallen into the toilet before from not checking. Ever since, I learned to sit down with my legs extra wide so I wouldn't fall in...

there are tons of horror stories involving me and not looking at toilet seats (particularly seeing as my brother can *not* aim)... but that's really not the point of this thread

Being flamboyantly gay and being trans are difffficult to reconcile. That's because as transguys pre T we really can't get away with the same effect. And I find I'm naturally more masculine than the gay guys I know (although they're also guys who set off my gaydar on sight... from far away... without my contacts on...), and I have that issue sometimes where I feel like acting gay is going to seem too feminine on me.

My advice would be: tackle the huge things like walking, sitting, etc... and then forget the rest for now. You're 15, gay, and pre T. Unless it's a major issue for you, I don't see anything wrong with somewhat feminine mannerisms. Getting more masculine should come naturally anyway, as you either realize what works and what doesn't, or just become naturally more so in your actions/mannerisms.

[Guest Zack L]

I'm still working on this, but I suppose I'm lucky. One of my closest friends is a gay guy and we're veeery similar, always have been. So I've been watching him lately (and other guys) to pick up on certain things and figure out what needs to go.

Fortunately he's as fond of tackle hugs and stuff as I am, find that reassuring. XD

Note to self: Remember to ask him what the heck aftershave is for.

[Guest Cody_T]

Note to self: Remember to ask him what the heck aftershave is for.

after... shave

man, I'm smart

[Guest Christy.dancer]

See what my problem is as well is that I'm a kind of flamboyant gay guy.... So this screws me up a little with the mannerisms. What a gay guy thats sort of masculine would do XD

Well, this has NOTHING to do with me, but when I read that, I thought about Ross the Intern on Jay Leno's show. He's about as flamboyantly gay as they get (as gay as I used to be, I was never in his league). ANYWAY..... even though many of his mannerisms are effeminate, there's still a lot about him (his walk, posture, body language) that is relatively male.

In fact, I've watched him very closely to get a feel for what NOT to do in my own transition. Flamboyantly gay male does not equal transitioned MTF (except, sadly, on youtube). Does that make sense?

[Guest Keane]

Well, this has NOTHING to do with me, but when I read that, I thought about Ross the Intern on Jay Leno's show. He's about as flamboyantly gay as they get (as gay as I used to be, I was never in his league). ANYWAY..... even though many of his mannerisms are effeminate, there's still a lot about him (his walk, posture, body language) that is relatively male.

In fact, I've watched him very closely to get a feel for what NOT to do in my own transition. Flamboyantly gay male does not equal transitioned MTF (except, sadly, on youtube). Does that make sense?

Gayer than Jack from Will and Grace?

Sally - my hands are above my waist a lot XD

[Guest DanM]

Watching people at a restaraunt or at the mall helps alot.