people suggesting I wait/ family trying to get me to be more feminine

[Guest Motormouth18]

People have recently told me, mostly online, that I need to wait longer before starting anything because I might "grow out of it". It is frustrating because I already know that I'm not going to be able to even get therapy for several more months, possibly next year. (lovely right?). That in itself is very upsetting because I've been experiencing more self hate when looking at my body, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. It really gets at me when somebody tells me to wait. Im already waiting. I know that this will take the back seat while I work on my GED and whatever has happened to my back.

I'm not sure if I can take waiting up to a year if not longer, before I start something. Being referred to as she is getting harder to tolerate. Some of my family are subtly trying to get me to be more feminine by giving me purses/necklaces. I appreciate the thought, but I'm fine with my wallet. Everything I need is in there. I don't likejjewelry, so necklaces are a no. I realize that to my family, I'm an adult. It's time to move past this "tomboy phase" that I've been in my whole. It's not a phase, though. It's who I am. I'm just tired of people trying to get me to be something I not.

[gennee]

Yours is not a phase; it is who you are. I don' t what steps you can take next but I ' m sure there some resources here that may help. Perhaps there are some people here who are better able to help than I. Good luck.

[Charlize]

My dear motormouth (what a name to use!), I am sorry you are up against what i knew at your age. I knew i wasn't a child anymore. I could survive on my own but was still dependent on others in so many ways. Awkward at best totally frustrating and painful at worst. At that time there was no thought of transgendered issues even being discussed. i had been sent to all boys schools from 3rd grade on. In those environments at that time my gender issues would have been fatal.

Time finally allowed me to move into my own world and i fell in love with the woman i still live with. Please forgive me when i say what i know you don't want to hear, give it time and things will fall into place for you. As to the phase i agree. You are you and that will develop even more with time. The time will go faster than you think so hang on, nail that GED exam and study hard. The better you do the easier your life will become. Just do your best and try to enjoy each day. I guess i'm just wandering but want you to know it will be better.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Motormouth18]

Charlie, motormouth has been my nickname since I was 6 years old. It still fits . Patience is not a virtue that I process. I absolutely hate waiting, for anything. I'm going to try to put this aside for the time being, so that I can get my GED, and get the heck out of here. It's not going to be easy, though. Out of respect for my family members(they're older than me), I accept the gifts, but I never use them or wear them. I feel horrible for doing that, but those things are not me. I don't want to disrespect my family members(my mom would be highly furious), but I'm getting tired of this.

[Guest Alexthecat]

Do what I do and make a list of gifts you want and hang it on the fridge. When someone asks what I want there it is. Better to get something that you actually want saves people money in the long run. Gift cards are great too.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hon, people, well meaning and not, are always going to give you unsolicited advice. Sometimes the advice might even be worthwhile and helpful. But the bottom line will always be that decisions are yours to make, and advice is for you to decide what to take and what not to take. There is nothing to be gained by worrying about what people tell you to do or not to do. Just tell them, "thanks" and move on. That goes for the advice you get here, too, except that hopefully you will have asked for it.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ChefErik93]

i understand where you are at to a T. i am lucky enough to have a therapist but besides that we are in the same boat. it's a phase, i'm too young, you'll grow out of it. i get this question a lot...why can't you find something to just deal with this for a few more years? that is what the last few years have been for me!! and now i want to actually deal with it!

or...my father told me to "buck up and deal with it". hugely ironic in my book. i took it almost as though he wanted to tell me to man up haha. he told me that i just need to deal with being female and that i'll never be a real guy no matter what i do. he can't get past the fact that my DNA will be female.

if you ever need anyone to talk to you can always PM me...i (along with many others im sure) know where you are at and are more than willing to listen to you and help.

Erik