Recovery Alone

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Here's the deal: I'm MTF but I consider myself a butch woman. While I've been on HRT for nearly 4 years now and am almost done with electrolysis, those things alone only make me look young but not necessarily female. I still dress and act in a masculine fashion and plan to for the rest of my life. Strangers see me a teenage boy. People I see daily see me as an unusually youthful young man.

So how's someone like me supposed to be seen as a woman to the world? Who would ever recommend me for SRS (something I very much want)?

This past year I started getting a more textured, "pixie" style haircut and I also got my ears pierced. Both definitely got me closer to my ideal self-image, but I'm still not quite there, and I don't know what's left to do besides FFS.

I'm not in any hurry. I'm talking 2+ years down the line. My savings account recently got pretty serious, and the practical side of me has decided to use that as a down payment of my first home purchase while interest rates are still low.

That was all just unnecessary back story btw.

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When I do think about FFS, though, once I get past all the usual distaste for vanity junk, the thing I really get hung up on is recovery. Is it reasonable to do it alone? My family's aware of my trans status but not super-comfortable with it; I would never ask them to help me out. My supportive friends are always all over the place with other commitments.

On top of that, I don't drive, so I fear the idea of using public transportation with healing face.

Are my fears excessive or on the mark? Any ideas?

[Guest LizMarie]

I don't think your fears are excessive but I think you should carefully plan for your recovery periods, both from FFS and SRS, if you do choose those surgeries.

As for how you are seen, lots of butch lesbians are mistaken for male as well. I'm not really sure what to tell you there since you already stated that you don't want to feminize your presentation further.

[VickySGV]

Kathryn Julia was the most recent FFS patient and might be the one to ask about her take on the recovery issue. I met her in person pretty early in her recovery, and she was happy to be with her sister, and happy to meet me and Carolyn Marie for lunch one day, but unless there is an absolute emergency it is just pop pain meds and wait. One of my co-workers had a face lift and she solo'ed the whole thing.

For SRS, the WPATH RLT is being bent a bit these days and you should do fine with how you present, since it is a variation on the theme of being female full time. Let a therapist help you make the call, and at the end of 5 years living that way you are down to a single letter for some surgeons. Being super girly is not the requirement!! For SRS recovery, if you have a Ob/Gyn who you can easily get to by Taxi or 911 call, then, while its lonely, it still may work. I went solo at day 15 and was happier, since the people I stayed with were too darn busy with their lives and were driving me crazy.

[Paula ult]

Though i did not need or want FFS and frankly if your avatar is any indication of how you look IRL neither do you. I know a few women that went by themselves to have SRS, i don't know about other surgeons but Dr. Mcginn can give you the name of someone that would accompany you and take you to the hospital and appointments and make sure you had everything you needed, for a price of course. Traveling right after SRS and for a few weeks after is going to be uncomfortable , since you don't drive you should have someone that can go to the store for you if you need anything, i drive and was driving in about 3 weeks although it was not too comfortable.

You said "People I see daily see me as an unusually youthful young man." maybe a slightly longer hair style would help, being seen as a woman is more than just a pretty face, how are your mannerisms, voice etc, these can out you no matter how you look.

Paula

[Guest KimberlyF]

You can read my post on this board to see where I'm coming from. I've had numerous letters for surgery-all from PhDs. My friend is here for the day of surgery and day after, but all travel days and the meetings prior I was solo. It wasn't the plan but other people do have things going on.

The difference with FFS is it's more visual. Someone with you can help give you a bit of confidence, but you can also work on your own sense of self. If people are going to look, they'd look with or without someone with you. There is absolutely no reason you can't do it alone other than the limitations you put on yourself. You can do this alone if you have to. It's not the most desirable choice, but if that is your option, you can.

[Guest Leah1026]

When I do think about FFS, though, once I get past all the usual distaste for vanity junk, the thing I really get hung up on is recovery. Is it reasonable to do it alone? My family's aware of my trans status but not super-comfortable with it; I would never ask them to help me out. My supportive friends are always all over the place with other commitments.

On top of that, I don't drive, so I fear the idea of using public transportation with healing face.

Are my fears excessive or on the mark? Any ideas?

Is it doable? Of course it is, thousands of transsexual people have done it including myself. I did FFS and SRS alone. That said, although it's possible it would probably be easier with someone accompanying you. And using public transportation after FFS? LOL. Everyone treated me very well because they felt sorry for the woman who got beat up. I'm serious, I had zero issues with the public. But a friend coming along would have been nice as they could have handled my bags and stuff. Remember after SRS you're not going to have as much energy as your used to and walking and sitting will be a chore. An inflatable donut will be your best friend for a couple weeks.

[Guest Valerie]

Jo;

I had my SRS and some FFS surgeries on July 3rd, 2013. I was in Bangkok, Thailand for 25 days and I was alone during this time.

I had a Mini-Face Lift, a small chin implant and some liposuction under the chin area and on my neck. These were conducted at the same time as my SRS, 4 procedures conducted by 2 different surgeons. The entire ordeal lasted 2 hours. The hospital that I was in was fantastic, the entire 10th floor is for urology and Trans patients. The nursing staff was just great, I never felt any concerns for my health of my safety while I was there. They have a lot of nurses there who are Trans as well.

I had some swelling on my face and my neck area for a couple of days after surgery. After about the 3rd day I had no visible bruising and some swelling. The swelling was greatly reduced by the time I checked out of the hospital. You can see some of my pictures in my gallery.

After I was released from the hospital 5 days after surgery, I spent the rest of my time recovering at a hotel. While I was staying at the hotel I met over a dozen other Trans patients doing thier recovery at that hotel. Most of the people staying there where either Japanesse staying the for a business conference or recovering from a wide assortment of medical procedures. Even though I was by myself during this time I had a lot of fun with some of the guests that I had met while I was there.

/Love

Valerie