I think im transgender but dont know what to do.

[Guest shinyd9]

Ive been struggling with my gender for along time. Actually since my early teens maybe even when i was little growing up. When i was little my 2 best friends were girls and I envied them. I see my mom and sister and i envy them today. Sometimes I have this dream of where i wake up and i have nothing between my legs. My legs are smooth. I have breasts. and everything about me is feminine. I want to be a woman. However sometimes i am very comfortable being a man when i am around my friends. Im very secritive and nobody knows about my situation or how i really feel about my body. not even my parents. i used to cross dress in my moms clothes when she wasnt home or sleep in her lingerie. I really liked how i felt feeling feminine. Sometimes I feel like there is this inner shell inside of me that doesnt corospond with my outershell. When i see myself in the mirror dressed as a woman i am discussed with myself because i am a man. I dont know what to do. I dont know if im transgendered or transexual or just having an identity crisis. I dont know if i should come out and start transitioning into a female or... i dont know im just confused and scared . please help.

[VickySGV]

Welcome to the Playground. First big item is to GET RID of the feeling of disgust or hatred when you see yourself in clothing of your inner gender. You have been told you are a M*A*N and are trying your best to convince yourself of it, but you are not sure and are afraid to think otherwise. It's OK that you are not what you have seemed to be. Been there done that and the T-shirt is now a dust rag.

We do kick ourselves around pretty badly at first and that is probably chore number one to simply realize we are being our true and really more authentic selves, even if the rest of the world is going to call us names. The world will do that for us, we do not have to provide it the rope for our own hanging. As to what you are, its too early to tell, and around here, we let you pick your designation as and when you make progress along the way over the time you are here. Hopefully we can give you some ideas, but you are responsible for finding your own answers in all of the well-intentioned chatter we send back your way, and even more information you will find for yourself with the help of a competent therapist and medical team if needed.

[Guest]

Welcome to LP, shinyd9.

I will second Vicky's suggestion.

Seek the help of a Gender Therapist.

They can help you answer a lot of your questions.

Most of us here have faced the same issues you are facing.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Shiny,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[JenniferB]

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

You are not alone in how you feel. There is a lot of information in these forums. That might be a good place to start for finding answers. I don't know what part of Utah you live in, but finding a therapist who specializes in gender issues is important if this is causing so much confusion.

Here is a list of gender therapists, including online ones:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

{{{Hugs}}}

Jenny