What has SRS done for me?

[Guest KimberlyF]

I've never been subject to huge highs and lows. After SRS, I didn't have a sweeping feeling of euphoria. What I felt most was I missed my family and was counting the days till I got home. Skyping my kids isn't the same as hugging them.

Yesterday was a big day in my life.

First check-up with my PCP post-op and first visit to My therapist since before I flew to SF.

I have grown very comfortable with my doctor over the past few years. I know that she knows me and not just my case.

She looks me over and says I'm healing well. Takes some blood and we talk. One concern is my lack of energy. Seems I no longer have the testosterone factories pumping away and that can cause lack of energy...or it could just be my body sucking energy to heal. At just under 3 weeks, it's kinda early to tell.

On to Therapist. She's more pregnant from last month. Well, prob the same amount of pregnant-a plus on a stick-but more showy and looks awesome. We're both pretty happy to see each other.

She asks me if I've felt any regrets. Honestly, I would not be shocked if 95% of the patients ask themselves, "What the fork did I just do???" about the time the anesthesia drugs first wear off, and then the first 24 hours after. But really it wasn't all that bad. And the 'regret' was 100% physical uncomfortableness.

But then I tell her my story. Transsexualism isn't like repeated upper cuts to the head. It's more like a never ending lifetime of 'Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who?' Forever. Anytime there is a quite moment or private contemplation. Pick pick pick. Whenever I'm awake. In the back of my mind 365 days a year.

That noise is gone. There is that

I mentioned how I obsessed for months over the presurgery physical exam. People don't go down there. Id freak if it happened, so avoided it. I also didn't have any hair removal prior because the the idea causes the acid to churn in my stomach. Off limits. Move along. Nothing to see here. I told her that during the exam I came close to a panic attack and ended crying for a bit.

Then at my yesterday morning post surgery appt, my doctor told me that since there wasn't much blood, it wasn't necessary for a physical inspection unless I wanted one. Someone who has surgery the day before had popped a few stitches and had some issues. I had no idea where I was. I said I'd feel better if she checked.

I was given an out from a doctor, and I didn't take it. And I didn't get nervous or cry. I asked her questions based on things I'd observed and concerns I had. During the exam! In a calm, rational voice. Like 3 weeks later.

So there is that too.

And then my therapist asked me if this is enough or do I have any idea where I go from here. And I said the noise may be gone, but maybe right now it's replaced a bit with annoying jolts and consistent slight uncomfortableness.

And then She said I have time to figure it all out, but in the 3 plus years she's known me, I've never smiled as much in a session.

Well life is going good these days.

[Guest LizMarie]

Congratulations, Kimberly.

[Guest]

Hi Kim,

Very happy for you! I'm sure everyone has a different experience, but what you described matches my own in many ways!

Your energy will return - it is a body-blow kind of surgery and the body is staggering a bit yet. For me, the turning point was around 8 weeks, but you're younger, probably will get your go-power sooner.

Keep up the healing, take care, and enjoy!

Love, Megan

[Carolyn Marie]

Sounds pretty good to me, Kim. That last comment was especially telling. Smiling more is most certainly something to celebrate. Perhaps you'll even laugh more, and laughing, I have found, is a wonderful thing to do, or to help others do. I hope you laugh a lot in future years, Kim.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Oh Kimberly i'm so happy for you. The pain will pass but with luck the peace will remain. I have been warned about loosing energy after my upcoming surgery. Perhaps it will give me a chance to stop always trying to do more than i can. I have found just with HRT i'm more relaxed and am forgiving myself for taking a nap. Heal quickly and rest.

Gentle hugs,

Charlize

[Drea]

Welcome to the sexy life!

[VickySGV]

You have joyful bells ringing in my ears Kim. That regret in the first 48 hours caused by the physical shock and pain is very real, but it passes and is all I remember too. Discomfort does linger, and it is exhaustion from the body working to heal the tissues that does make us wonder where our energy went. On the other hand, long and gentle walks can be refreshing and more soul lifting than fast and furious runs we may have been used to. You are on the other side now sis.

[Guest Amelia]

Very happy to hear that, Kimberly I hope things continue to get better.

[Guest]

Congratulations, Kimberly.

The lack of energy is certainly understandable. It was major surgery after all.

I hope your energy will return soon.

Your therapists comment says it all.

Huggs for a speedy recovery,

Joann

[Cyndee]

Thanks for sharing Kimberly,

Wishing you the best in your continued recovery and yes "quiet".

Cyndi -

[Guest IreneT]

Kimberly, your energy will come back but it takes time to heal. Your new life is before you so go enjoy and be HAPPY. Pick pick pick no more.

IreneT

[Guest Melissa~]

About six years ago, my mom asked me why I never smiled anymore. I tried to explain it to her, that I didn't think life would ever go my way, I was depressed. She couldn't grasp that even as my jobs and relationships were improving over time, those were not all that I needed. Transition has been a good thing, I anticipate surgery will be a good thing too.

[KathrynJulia]

Kimberly

I'm going to go out on a limb that after almost 3 months post op, the pain you endured is beginning to fade, but the smile is still there. Enjoy the rest of your life girl. Kathy

[~Nova~]

Nothing about my post op was fun. I had major bleeding issues and real problems. The first time I realized I had finally made it was my first sexual encounter. Sadly enough I cannot even remember who it was.

Time heals and with it your energy. Congrats.

[Guest KimberlyF]

I'm going to go out on a limb that after almost 3 months post op, the pain you endured is beginning to fade, but the smile is still there.

I think this whole process has been very positive for me. People continue to tell me how much more social I am now than 3-4 years ago.

There is still some annoyance in the area of surgery. Never knew much about granulation tissue prior. But day to day moving and working is all fine. Then I get the nerve jolt and it's like a cup of coffee.

I'm going back to doc in a week and may get a little silver nitrate. That sounds like an early Christmas!

[~Nova~]

I got silver nitrate for about three mths, maybe more post op. My advice, wear he ugliest undies you have, you won't have them long.