Going to a makeup counter in guy mode

[Guest Deandra]

Hey all

Yesterday I just got my driver's license which I'm so happy about and I'm psyched to go out driving on my own of course. And lately I've been thinking about going to the makeup counter at my local Dillard's after Vicky told me about Dermablend products. However, I'm not ready to go out fully dressed yet though I've thought about driving out in guy mode and dressing up else where besides home. But now what I wanna know is if anybody's ever been to a makeup counter in guy mode. Did people stare? Did the makeup artists or whatever treat you differently or what? Would like for anybody to share their experiences!

Deandra

[Guest]

Hi Deandra,

I've only been to a makeup counter once. It was early in my transition, and, although I was en femme, it wasn't close to my current presentation. The girls who were managing the counter were extremely helpful, and completely respective of me. I couldn't ask for more.

My suspicion is that those folks are well versed in treating trans customers. And, your money being as green as anyone else's, they should give you every measure of respect.

I'll be interested in hearing your experiences!

Love, Megan

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Deandra. Yes, I went to a Sephora store in guy mode. I wanted to experiment with makeup. So I told the (male) sales associate that I wanted to buy my "girlfriend" a starter set, with a lot of different things in it. He didn't wink at me, but by his demeanor I could tell he knew it was a white lie. But he was very helpful and I got what I needed.

I have a feeling I could have told him it was for me and he wouldn't have batted an eye. Like Megan said, a sale is a sale.

Good luck, hon.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Michelle 2010]

Hi and congratulations on the DL and all that freedom it brings

I've been blessed with a couple people in my life who were able to give me professional makeovers, so have no experience other than buying specific cosmetics. A couple thoughts though: Trans friends say that MAC cosmetics are very trans friendly and are probably priced similar to Dillard's perhaps a little higher... Secondly, I had occasion to shop clothing at Macy's and as a result of the experience came to be aware of their strong support of the LGBT scene including sponsorship of PRIDE events on a national and local level. My personal preference would be to support those who support us, though I have no idea what Dillard's policies are. They may be just as Trans friendly and supportive as Macy's. A quick Google search would tell you.

Lastly, my partner says every woman has a "graveyard" of cosmetics which are never used and which must be purged periodically. Of course, when a gal settles on a "look", and knows what works for her the problem is greatly reduced. Since you want to get quality products, I totally agree that consulting a professional will probably save you money in the long run since what you buy will actually be used and not consigned to a drawer or box which will be thrown out a year later, lol!

Enjoy the experience!

Michelle

[Charlize]

This girl certainly has a few drawers of unused and horrid cosmetics. What a waste! Everything i use now fits in a little bag and pulls from several brands. Being cheap i shop the super market but i probably have saved by getting help. With clothing and other issues i certainly did see how the color of my money was more important than my gender presentation. The fear was in my mind only.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Yeah, I did this in guy mode several years back in MN on a business trip. I went to Macy's counter and worked with really nice sales ladies that helped me find the right shade of foundation. I had no issues doing this as him back then, after they spoke with me a while, they may have sensed my internal gender identity. Nobody was staring or it was not weird at all. I really think it's more fun as her these days.

Enjoy

Cyndi -

[tracy_j]

I suggest perhaps get into guy mode mentally - go to the counter and ask! You may well save quite a bit of money in the long run as you will have far fewer buys you later regret. The only thing to watch is that you are careful you are not talked into anything you later regret as you pay for quality - they are out to sell. That said quality shows!

I have spent a lot on things that have been little used similar to the above experiences but treat everything as experience and learn. Looking at some women maybe not all do but it would be boring if everyone were the same and perfect.

I have never asked for help but have paid a little for it! It is my experience that shop staff are there to sell and do! Some are a little embarrassed, perhaps more so than yourself - I think with a man they are not sure what stance to take. Enable them to relax - explain exactly what you want for yourself. It's not really embarrasing whan you think about it. Think of the future - it is an easy way to communicate like a woman on their subjects! You have a captive audience!

I love shopping - It means that I don't worry (just about wearing after I have bought lol)

Tracy x

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Yesterday I would have given you a stock answer which in any large city mall will work even in Mississippi. But, last nite I watched a Netflix movie "Small town gay bar". Which is in Mississippi! This is for the most part a very underground LGBT state! The only good part was watching some of the best dressed and passing sisters anywhere. The rest is a study in suppression of Human Rights and Hate! Don't worry about buying makeup, find this underground first. They have the makeup, the skill and everything else. Most important they know where and how to do it in a safe way. I know this from personal experience. Even now in Wyoming there are NO gay bars! You go to house parties or other private events to be who you are and you need to be invited! I spent 15 years there.

[Guest Deandra]

Thanks to everybody for sharing their experiences! It was really helpful.

@Clair Dufour I live in Mississippi and I've heard people say bad things about it. Still I'll try to go out and see how well I do with things despite Mississippi's stance on LGBT rights. This documentary you speak of may be worth watching and will give me insight on LGBT people in Mississippi. Even though it came out in 2006 I doubt anything in it has changed since.

Deandra

[MasieWilljoy]

Hey Deandra,

I've gone to buy makeup and cosmetics a few different times and only in guy mode. It's helped me pick up a few tricks. The first of which is simple but tough, just don't care what they think. The people working the counter are human just like you, they've got stuff going on in their lives and won't remember any customer interactions in a day. However, that can only get you so far. I've tried using the "I lost a fantasy football bet and have to dress up like Lady Gaga", that seemed to work that time. Also I frequent stores with self checkout counters, so that cuts down the amount of customer service interactions needed. However my favorite is the "this is the last time I ask if anyone needs anything from the store" line. I've waited for the person working the counter to give me 'that look' and then used that line. It usually end with a laugh and a smile. That's all that people will remember.

Stay safe Deandra, and good luck:)

[Guest Clair Dufour]

A lot of guys buy makeup. TV talent, actors and makeup artists to list a few and they just go to the store and buy it. There is even makeup for men in big cities. You can also buy online. The question is what to buy and not spend a fortune experimenting? The fastest way is to find a makeup artist or designer to help you find the look you want and what products to use. The other way is to watch youtube videos. There is a lot there. I was looking the pictures you posted not long ago. You pass very well but, I and most here are white and can't see the small racial nuances that really make it work for you. I did think more makeup and more Bling accessories would help a lot.