A Grand Day Out (or first time woman!)

[tracy_j]

(To take the title from a good movie lol)

One of the better things that have happened this week:- I decided to visit the seaside. A resort that is not too close to home as I wanted to spend my time there fully female. Although most of the time my 'feminine side of unisex' style of dress is what I like, I do like really girly things as well but would be too much for my normal male stance. I decided to buy a more feminine skirt and also wanting to wear the fleece lined tights that I bought for winter which I have not worn (it has been warm here this winter although very wet!), I decided, bought the skirt and planned to visit the seaside as a woman. This would be a major step as, although I often wear nearly 100% female clothing, the clothes I wear tend to be plain rather than patterned and flaired etc. I also have never tried to pass as a woman!

This went well even though I was a little apprehensive and very sensitive to possible negative reaction.

I changed en route (would not go well around home) and on arrival had my first trial. After any long journey a girl has one first port of call - the ladies facillities. As I was a woman there was no way that I could use the men's but did not know how well I passed! As it happened even though women were inside I did not bump into anyone so that was good.

After this I decided to walk from end to end along the promenade taking a few photographs as I went. This was a bit nerve wracking as there were not many people about as it is 'out of season' so people payed more attention but, although I don't think I passed to everyone (I have no evidence either way - just feelings!) things went well. I also think that I was dressed a little bit odd as it was still foggy when I first arrived and most were wearing overcoats but, because I was wearing multiple layers (one thing female I have got to work) I was cosy with a denim jacket.

After this I went into town. This I found easier although there were more people about. I am far more relaxed when shopping. This passed Ok except at one poing when I almost bumped into a woman carrying a tray with drinks. I said sorry in a very male voice - an instinctive reaction! (lol). I was not around long enough to go red.

On leaving the shops without further incident I paid one last call at the ladies facillities (also without incident) then back to my car.

On my way out of town I called at the local supermarket for some provisions. There I wore my driving sunglasses (much smaller than the ones I am wearing in the photograph) and just did the shopping. I found in doing this I was as happy as I had been all day. smiling and communicating (although mainly mouthing rather than speech) with other shoppers. I love shopping and like to talk but just for once used the automated till rather than checkout girl (I missed the chat).

I will have to sort my speech as it would have been good to talk to people - that I missed!

All in all - A good day! Hopefully many more of them

Tracy x

[Guest Gregg Jameson]

Hi Tracy,

I have been meaning to respond to your post for awhile now and somehow get distracted with other forums here.

I am FTM and can relate to these types of weekend getaways. I thoroughly enjoy getting away and allowing myself to be more fully myself than I can be near my home at this time. I stay a bit more androgynous around my home community at this time. It's so freeing to get out and have the space to just "Be." Great fun and so affirming!

I cannot get your thumbnail picture to enlarge on my screen. From what I can see on the smaller version of your picture, you look quite feminine. : ) You gave your attire some consideration and it shows. As you know, most models have long legs. I like how you accentuated your legs with the shorter skirt. Very nice.

You were brave to use the women's restroom, etc. Nicely done!

I understand about the voice issue. Has to be quite a challenge.

If one likes to visit with people, and it seems like you do, it has to feel quite restrictive to have concerns about your voice.

Yet, I understand the concerns, for sure.

Thanks for sharing this detailed account of your weekend.

I enjoy your many posts and your perspectives.

Hope to see continue to see you around here at Laura's.

Brad

[Carolyn Marie]

Big congrats to you for your wonderful day on the town (another movie reference ). You did great, hon. The first time out is always nerve wracking and fraught with challenges, and you took them all on and were a smashing success.

It does get easier, hon. You learn a little every time. One of my early trips out, I went shopping with my sister. She's the one who told me the proper way to deal with the toilet when wearing a long skirt. Who knew? So, yes, good advice can come from anywhere and anyone.

Good luck on your next outing. I hope it won't be a long time between.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Tracy,

I am very happy to read about your Grand Day Out.

Restroom issues are always scary and frightening at first.

If you are seeing a therapist, they can provide you with a “Carry Letter”.

This letter states that you are under care for Gender Dysphoria and that RLE is part of your treatment.

My therapist provided me with a letter when I first started and it was comforting to know that I had it, but never had to use it.

This was also before legally changing my name and my voice.

I am very jealous of you living in the UK, you can enlist the aid of the NHS to get voice therapy.

This link to the British Voice Association list the available NHS Voice Clinics.

http://www.britishvoiceassociation.org.uk/public_downloads/voice-clinics/Voice%20Clinics%20Information%20Booklet%20-%20Feb14.pdf

I hope this is of some help to you.

Again, I am very happy that your Grand Day Out went so well for you.

I also hope that you have may more Grand Days Out.

Please keep us posted.

Continue the good work , and every day out you will increase your Self-Confidence as your “True-Self”.

Hugs,

Carla

[tracy_j]

Hi Carla

Thanks for your reply and the information. Funnily enough I work with speech therapists to some extent (although they do not work with gender issues as far as I am aware). I have not ventured to discuss things with any of them though. I have picked up the principles online and do practice. I have a different voice but it is not really female as yet.

Currently I am very fluid in what I think and am happy with my body but tend to be very feminine in my thinking. I think the time will come when I have to see a therapist. I was only thinking while lying in bed before getting up this morning that although I am ok being male I tend to think of myself being more relaxed as one of the girls than one of the lads and would be happy being female. This has always been the case but it has been invaluable to me to be here and get to understand my feelings better. Also how things relate to others and the world in general.

In the past I have seen a therapist as I was diagnosed with depression but at the time although maybe a little depressed that was not really the problem. I got very confused and things did not go well so I am now a little shy of therapy. I do the groundwork though so know when / how to progress.

Thanks again!

Love

Tracy x