Strange questions from wife

[Guest TeraG]

Lately my wife has been asking me some strange questions,like asking me to shave my legs and mentioning that her high heels would fit my feet(we have almost the same shoe size). She doesn't know I crossdress, at least I don't think she does. Should I take this as an opportunity to crossdress with her, or that she is interested in me crossdressing?

[Carolyn Marie]

Sounds to me like she knows, or at least strongly suspects. I would simply ask her why she brought those subjects up, as a conversation starter. I hope it means that she will be supportive.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest RachelnPa]

I agree with Carolyn Marie. I believe she knows or suspects. Talk to her about the questions she has been asking. I learned from my own experiences that if she suspects to be completely honest. If she is accepting go at her pace do not force it. My wife is accepting but, hasn't seen me fully dressed. She has known for over 20 years but, I go at her pace with it. Good luck.

Hugs,

Rachel

[Guest TeraG]

Thanks for the advice, I'll just start out small and go with her suggestions. She is a very open person, so this might be the start of coming out to her.

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Hi TeraG

Be open and honest. As your partner she will probably detest being kept in the dark and may already have built up anger about it. I strongly suspect she very well knows what you do, and she is testing you to see how honestly you deal with her, but may be nervous of confronting you directly - hence the roundabout hints. Wives test their husbands' attitudes all the time, often without even being aware of it. They're vulnerable, and need to know they are loved and protected, and as a CD you will probably feel the same feminine needs yourself; I certainly feel these needs.

This does not mean she will approve of what she discovers about you. Despite her light-hearted hints, be prepared for her to be surprisingly hostile to your cross-dressing, rather than accepting. Be ready to accept that and try to see her point of view. In time she probably will come around to it.

You need to prove to her you are open, honest and can settle her worries, but most importantly demonstrate you can still be 'her man'. When I started cross-dressing I immediately talked to my wife. She's reluctant but can live with it. But she tests me regularly with joky questions, and I think it is more to reassure herself I have not changed, or slid away from her. She has said to me she wants 'the man' she married, and does not want to lose the masculinity of her 'anchor'. And that's understandable.

However, things can also go very well. Good luck!

Eve

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Yea. If she said shave your legs, shave them! Do the heels fit? Sounds like your wife is a big as you are? Some women chose such mates rather than big machos because the want a gender center relationship and only you can answer that. The issue here is ego. Crossdress with her and you will have to give up some to her. Again, not knowing your relationship, the concept is simple. She lets you do something you want and you let her do something she wants. Wonder what she wants?

[Guest AliciaDB2014]

I think your wife knows that you are crossdressing and she is attempting to give you an opening to tell her. In my opinion, she is hinting at it to make you feel safe about telling her. I can't say that I knew my husband was crossdressing, but he definitely gave me a lot of hints and "tested" the waters to see how I'd react. I think I was immediately attracted to my husband because of his more "feminine" tendencies, even if I didn't realize it at the time. From my experience, women don't make those types of comments without already knowing the answer. I hope you feel comfortable enough to talk openly with her about everything, my husband did and it definitely made our relationship a lot better. Good luck!

[Guest TeraG]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I want to share this with my wife, but tread lightly. I don't want to shock her. I will definitely be taking her up on any suggestions having to do with dressing in the future.

Hugs

[Guest AshleighP]

You are very lucky to have a spouse who will at least entertain the idea. All the above advice about taking things slow can not be emphasized enough. My wife is aware to some degree of my desires, but not the full extent and, she would never suggest I wear something feminine. Letting her set the pace of how much you reveal will be very beneficial. Best of luck on this exciting adventure!

[Guest *Charlotte P*]

If she's offering...go for it. I agree with the rest of the group that she probably suspects it already.

If not then WOW are you lucky that she is initiating it, Either way it sounds like a win/win. If she didn't like the idea she wouldn't ask you to try stuff.

BUT, tread lightly as others have said, she may also be testing how much she can take to start with. After coming out to my fiance at the time, she had my as dressed as I could get at the time and did my makeup for the first time. Haven't looked back since.

Good Luck,

Charlotte

[Charlize]

You are very lucky to have been given such an easy opening to honesty. The best thing for any relationship is the ability to be honest so gently try to open to her. It may be the best opportunity you get.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Jamie_cd]

It definitely sounds like your wife knows. She sounds like she will be accepting and supportive so start coming out. It's hard though, no matter how supportive someone is.

[Guest Roni Jones]

For 28 years I didn't think my wife knew I was wearing her brassieres whenever she wasn't home but she did know and pretended not to notice. She waited until I was ready to talk about it about ten years ago. I'm one of the lucky ones, she has been wonderful and accepting of my crossdressing and my feminine second self.

Ronny

[Guest aliasGreta]

It definitely sounds like your wife knows. She sounds like she will be accepting and supportive so start coming out. It's hard though, no matter how supportive someone is.

re:It's hard though, no matter how supportive someone is. That's the truth. If I could stop worrying about what my wife, whom I love very dearly, must think of the spectacle of her husband in lingerie and stockings, I would be a much happier camper.

[Guest KatyDesire]

Greta, I think that is an issue for many of us. I'm not sure that I wouldn't be spooked if the roles were reversed.