Ok I Need That Push

[Guest karma]

I wasnt scared when I made the appt but now that is only 2 days away im starting to get scared. Im really nervious about talking to a therapist, espicaly one who doesnt specilize in gender therpey. I dont know how to tell him who I really am. Im afraid im going to choke, and not be able to tell him. I know I need to do this for my self but I have choked so many times even telling someone I would trust with my life. The one person I knew I could trust. How am I sposed to tell a complet stranger. I have so much to say but I dont know how to write it. I just need some support and a BIG push. Thank you all.

Always Karma

[Guest Donna Jean]

'Morning, Karma.....

Hey, Sweetheart, I'm a veteran just like you, so we've done that......

I had to come out to my wife..........I didn't think I could do it...I was afraid, but I set a time and date and somehow sat down with her and held hands and confessed everything....all of my deepest wants needs and fears....I DID IT....she has been loving and accepting of me and our relationship is better than ever....

Going to start therapy was awful hard for me...I didn't think that I could do it... get through it or even start it, for that matter! I Shook like a leaf, but....I DID it........Told him everything and some things that I didn't even know myself!

Got my hormone letter from him a little over a week ago.....

Then I had the appointment for the doctor for hormones......I didn't think I could do it...I was terrified....I went last Thursday..every one was so sweet to me at the doctors office....called me Donna Jean and Sweetie...it was wonderful.......I DID IT!...I'm on hormones now....

Come on Karma, Honey.....We must do these things on this journey...It's all hard to do ...but, it all must be done to complete ourselves and put our lives on track.

Me and the others are behind you on this.....so here's your {{{{PUSH}}}}.....

We all love you......OK?

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

[Guest Sofiadragon]

Don't worry I was scared & nervous about going to my appointment yesterday 'cause it was my first but I did & now that the ball is rolling I don't want it to stop for anything.

[Guest Jackson]

You'll be okay, karma.

This is never easy, but like some wise person once said adversity (or whatever) builds character. Then Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) said, "Builds character? I have enough character already." I might be paraphrasing, might you.

Have faith, remember to breathe, and everything will be fine.

[Sally]

I am the ultimate coward when it comes to talking about my feelings - I even avoid a lot of them here - and you guys love me.

You do love me?

Don't you?

See we are all insecure and scared about somethings in our lives, the thing is that sometimes you just have to go ahead and do some of them to make life worth living!

I was terrified, my hands shook when I sent her the first E-mail to see if she would take me, my voice cracked and I droped my pen twice while I was on the phone making the first appointment.

I almost turned around to just go home and mail her a check on the way to the first visit, I probably left the suite number at home on purpose.

I met her and she was so nice, it made things a lot easier.

My advice is when you get there, pick out one of us in your mind and think that you are talking to let's say Donna Jean - she's not scary.

You can tell DJ anything so tell it to her - if your therapist is really nice like mine, then you can relax and just talk to him.

I hope that helps, I stayed away from the old 'imagine them naked' speaking trick, because you are female and he is male and - that sort of thing is inappropriate in therapy!

Love ya,

Sally

[Paula ult]

Karma i know exactly how nervous you are, i was the same way. I made an appointment on a Wednesday morning and had my first session that same afternoon. I was brutally honest with him and it was about 15 to 20 minutes in i opened up about my gender identity. My therapist doesn't deal directly with gender issues but there are others in the office that do, but after that first session and feeling really comfortable i asked if we could work thru this together, i know he consults with the others about things he has questions on. At any time i can transfer to one of the other therapists but i trust him completely.

To make things easier you might write things on a pad that you want to say or ask, that way you won't forget something important, and don't forget to take it with you. At the first session your therapist will probably lead you some, getting background information and such but be sure that you bring up your gender issues cause since he doesn't specialize in gender issues it might get overlooked. Whatever you do be open and honest, if you don't know and answer to something say so, i have to do that once in awhile. Remember he is a doctor and doctor patient privilege come into play. Let us know you make out. **HUGS** and a BIG PUSH

Paula.

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

in my limited experience

the more people you tell, the easier it gets to tell people

which probably doesn't help you right now...

one thing i noticed the first time i told someone out loud that i'm transsexual

is that it made it more ... real, imediate?

saying it out loud forces you to look at yourself in a more honest way

hearing myself saying i'm transsexual changed something in me for the better

a little bit of resolve i never knew i had, just a tiny little seed or embryo,

but it's been growing

it's the real me, and she's waiting to be born

hope it goes well

good luck

[Guest Sarinah]

Just one thing to keep in mind with a therapist. It is this persons job to care about you, to accept you for who you are and help you discover the path for your life. If you can talk to anyone in the world about anything its a therapist because they arent allowed to judge you. I know that doesnt make it any less scary to talk about things, but it may give you the courage you need to face them.

[Guest Ashlee]

Karma dear,

I'm going to offer this one thing.

Letting yourself out to a complete stranger, (one that HAS to keep what you tell him between you and him), should be the easiest part of it all.

Letting yourself out to your loved ones and friends - thats the hard part - you won't know who will still want to be your friend or family until you do it...

Go girl! Just DO it! (do I sound like a commercial...)

We are always here for you. And you therapist will too.

{{HUGS}}

Ashlee

[Guest Evan_J]

First? Why did you chose a therapist who does not specialize in gender issues? (There's probably a backstory and I'm unaware but thought I would ask). That being the case, you'll be smartest to take whatever "opinion" they have about your gender with a grain of salt. (Always prepare for them to be a "butthole" but hope for them to be an "angel".)

Ultimate best advice regarding therapy of ANY kind: remember, the therapy "belongs" to you -do not be "pushed " into anything including viewpoints, if the therapist "doesn't work for you" they shouldn't work with you- drop em, get another- and at the end of the day the therapist goes home and has a life that you are not a part of , know that your life is for, and affects, only you. Protect it then in therapy by not thinking there are "emotional obligations or links" between you. Often people go into therapy thinking they're "getting a friend" or "someone to care", you are getting a professional. Someone willing to do a job with you. Setting yourself up thinking something else is just that "setting yourself up" for the opportunity to feel "uncared for" and "not interacted with as you hoped"- those thoughts/ feelings belong to the relationships you are going to the therapist to talk about. Don't get into that false (and unhealthy as all get out) kind of thinking. And really, if you keep that to the forefront, you can say anything

[Guest sara w.]

I know one thing you can do, If you are really that scared, you can write him a note saying you need to cancle the appointment, tell him somthing reasonable, and say "oh and by the way, the thing I wanted to talk to you about was I'm actually transgendered, and im wondering if you can help me with that, and again im really sorry for cancling on you" that way you tell him and you can talk to him at you next appointment! But for your own good you should really go, my advice is only as a last resort of you really cant go. good luck

-sara w

[Guest ~Brenda~]

I wasnt scared when I made the appt but now that is only 2 days away im starting to get scared. Im really nervious about talking to a therapist, espicaly one who doesnt specilize in gender therpey. I dont know how to tell him who I really am. Im afraid im going to choke, and not be able to tell him. I know I need to do this for my self but I have choked so many times even telling someone I would trust with my life. The one person I knew I could trust. How am I sposed to tell a complet stranger. I have so much to say but I dont know how to write it. I just need some support and a BIG push. Thank you all.

Always Karma

Dear Karma,

This is a very important step for you. Remember, you made the appointment already, and for one reason, to disclose who you really are. Therapists are professionals, they are not going to judge you in any way!!! Think of the therapist as the vehicle to achieve your goals and not as a stranger. I will be thinking of you during your appointment. We are all with you!!! Look forward to your appointment. the door is opening.

Love

bernie

[Guest karma]

First? Why did you chose a therapist who does not specialize in gender issues? (There's probably a backstory and I'm unaware but thought I would ask). That being the case, you'll be smartest to take whatever "opinion" they have about your gender with a grain of salt. (Always prepare for them to be a "butthole" but hope for them to be an "angel".)

Ultimate best advice regarding therapy of ANY kind: remember, the therapy "belongs" to you -do not be "pushed " into anything including viewpoints, if the therapist "doesn't work for you" they shouldn't work with you- drop em, get another- and at the end of the day the therapist goes home and has a life that you are not a part of , know that your life is for, and affects, only you. Protect it then in therapy by not thinking there are "emotional obligations or links" between you. Often people go into therapy thinking they're "getting a friend" or "someone to care", you are getting a professional. Someone willing to do a job with you. Setting yourself up thinking something else is just that "setting yourself up" for the opportunity to feel "uncared for" and "not interacted with as you hoped"- those thoughts/ feelings belong to the relationships you are going to the therapist to talk about. Don't get into that false (and unhealthy as all get out) kind of thinking. And really, if you keep that to the forefront, you can say anything

Well the small little town doesnt have anybody that spezilizes in gender therpey and i dont have the monye to drive an hour to reno every time i have an appt. just to let you know.

Always Karma