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Guest Gwenddydd

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Guest Gwenddydd

Hello all, I'm Gwenddydd. I don't know whether to post here, or in the Introductions. I'm a 25, bisexual, step-mother of two. My husband Nick is a cross dresser (known here as Laura1977.) We've been married a little over a year, and together for two, so our relationship is still very new. I've known all along that he is very feminine. I had some rough relationships with "manly men" before hooking up with Nick and I wasn't interested in men like that anymore. Since we hooked up, I've been trying to get him to express more of himself. I knew that he was bi before he did. I was encouraging him to explore cross-dressing. January 1st I found him in the bathroom, in my clothes. I know that my support helped to give him the courage to try what he'd always been wanting to do, but at the same time, I was a little surprised and intimidated to find him so deep into it. I had no idea that this side of him was so close to the surface. For about a week and a half he walked around, in "Laura Mode" refusing to change back, refusing to really talk to me about it. He was very sensitive. It was a very hard time, it took about a month for the dust to completely settle so that we could talk honestly.

I've tried to be as supportive as possible. I helped her pick out make-up, and hair thingys. I plucked her eyebrows for her. I even let Laura play dress up with my clothes. But its very uncomfortable. I get irritated seeing her in my clothes. I know that we need to get her some clothes of her own, but money is a bit tight right now. And its so weird sitting next to her on the couch. I'm not attracted to her at all. I know Nick is still in there, I see bits and glimpses now and then, but its so hard not to be a little freaked out when you look into your husband's eyes and don't see him looking back.

I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome, which basically means that my hormones are more guy than girl. But I don't feel the need to dress up like a boy, even though a lot of my actions and thoughts are guy-like. I actually get quiet jealous when Laura looks better than I do, I feel like I have to compete with her. She shaved her arms because they were too hairy for her taste, and it scared me, thinking that she expected that of me. She didn't say that, but I still thought it. Its a little disconcerting that my husband is a better girl than I am. Before Laura came along, I felt free to be me. Now, I feel out of place and uncomfortable because Nick has found this side of him that makes him so happy, so free, and I'm hating myself inside.

Any help, ideas, or support would be wonderful.

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Guest Zabrak

Hey there, Gwenddydd. I moved your hello post to the introductions forum. This way you'll get more welcomes along with some answers.

I can't help you much, though. As I am just 20 myself and haven't married - and my boyfriend loves and supports my transition. Although some parts of the idea of transitioning where rough to work through at first (he didn't like the idea of the SRS operation ) he is now happy with me. All I can really add is it takes a lot of time to work through everything you need too.

More people will be along with better answers for you! So don't worry.

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Guest Jackson
I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome, which basically means that my hormones are more guy than girl. But I don't feel the need to dress up like a boy, even though a lot of my actions and thoughts are guy-like.

Any help, ideas, or support would be wonderful.

Welcome, Gwenddydd. Now I wouldn't worry overly about how your hormones balance out and such since you sound like you are happy with who you are. You're still the same woman you were before the diagnosis. Don't question yourself.

Now, as for the other, I can understand that you're having a problem getting used to Laura. Don't feel like you have to compete or anything. You don't have to. You're just fine the way you are.

I know that it probably doesn't mean much or help a lot, but I thought it might help just to have someone else say it.

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Guest anyushka

Hi Gwenddydd,

When my husband confirmed that he was MTF as I thought it caused me to really freak out about myself for awhile. I had a hysterectomy 2 years before she started transitioning so I was still freaking out a bit about that as well. We initially joked about my possibly being FTM, but it got too uncomfortable for me. Jaime is 4 years younger than I am to begin with. Then the hormones became her fountain of youth. I felt torn apart with being proud of her on the one hand and feeling that people would begin mistaking her for one of my children rather than my partner. It does get better... especially now that she is finding it as hard to lose weight as I am. (evil laugh)

I didn't have an issue with the clothes. I have sisters who used to take my stuff so its no big deal, but I have spoken to many women who have major issues with it. We all have our own personal space. Have you checked out the TriEss Bill of Rights for CDs and Wives? There's a link pinned at the top of this section of the Forums (The SO section)

hugs and welcome to our crazy life,

anyushka

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Hello,

I'm a 57 year old MTF who is just started on her journey.

I wouldn't worry about the feelings right now, you are being confronted with something new.

You don't have to compete just remember that you were attracted to him for his feminine nature - you've had problems with overly male men and you just won't have that now.

Give yourself some time to adjust and tell Laura about your worries, you are encouraging her to tell you about her feelings - sharing is what marriage is all about.

That's all the advice that I can give, but I noticed that this is an itroduction and no one brought you any hot cocoa and cookies!

That's what happens when the first two to greet you are guys.

We are very warm and friendly, come and visit us often, we will try to help you if we can.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest ~Brenda~
Hello all, I'm Gwenddydd. I don't know whether to post here, or in the Introductions. I'm a 25, bisexual, step-mother of two. My husband Nick is a cross dresser (known here as Laura1977.) We've been married a little over a year, and together for two, so our relationship is still very new. I've known all along that he is very feminine. I had some rough relationships with "manly men" before hooking up with Nick and I wasn't interested in men like that anymore. Since we hooked up, I've been trying to get him to express more of himself. I knew that he was bi before he did. I was encouraging him to explore cross-dressing. January 1st I found him in the bathroom, in my clothes. I know that my support helped to give him the courage to try what he'd always been wanting to do, but at the same time, I was a little surprised and intimidated to find him so deep into it. I had no idea that this side of him was so close to the surface. For about a week and a half he walked around, in "Laura Mode" refusing to change back, refusing to really talk to me about it. He was very sensitive. It was a very hard time, it took about a month for the dust to completely settle so that we could talk honestly.

I've tried to be as supportive as possible. I helped her pick out make-up, and hair thingys. I plucked her eyebrows for her. I even let Laura play dress up with my clothes. But its very uncomfortable. I get irritated seeing her in my clothes. I know that we need to get her some clothes of her own, but money is a bit tight right now. And its so weird sitting next to her on the couch. I'm not attracted to her at all. I know Nick is still in there, I see bits and glimpses now and then, but its so hard not to be a little freaked out when you look into your husband's eyes and don't see him looking back.

I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome, which basically means that my hormones are more guy than girl. But I don't feel the need to dress up like a boy, even though a lot of my actions and thoughts are guy-like. I actually get quiet jealous when Laura looks better than I do, I feel like I have to compete with her. She shaved her arms because they were too hairy for her taste, and it scared me, thinking that she expected that of me. She didn't say that, but I still thought it. Its a little disconcerting that my husband is a better girl than I am. Before Laura came along, I felt free to be me. Now, I feel out of place and uncomfortable because Nick has found this side of him that makes him so happy, so free, and I'm hating myself inside.

Any help, ideas, or support would be wonderful.

Hi Gwenddydd!

First of all, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome! You are among friends here as I think you can tell. I may be wrong, but it sounds to me that Laura is simply in a stage of extreme expression ( I have been there myself) where one remains in their preferred gender state for an extended period of time (weeks sometimes). I think that it is very important that Laura gets her own clothes! Even if it is one simple piece of clothing (a skirt, I reccommend) that is hers and hers alone would be very important for bot of you. You are clearly very well adjusted and I would not be worried that you are not doing something right, you are fine. I can only suggest patience and directly confronting the relationship issues that you are experiencing. Not directly dealing with relationship issues leads to the relationship falling apart (I know this all too well). I think that basically, your relationship with Laura is sound and deserves the effort to make it stronger. Laura doesn't need her own complete wardrobe, just some articles of clothing of her own. I think things will greatly improve with that. Additionally, I would suggest that you tell Laura that sometimes you would like to see your husband too. I think Laura would respond favorably to you at this suggestion.

I hope at least one word here helps,

bernie

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Guest doodle

Hi Gwennddydd

well my partner and I are a nontraditional couple like your relationship. She knew all about my trans the first night we met. She has no real problem with me and clothing. I have my own clothing but I would never wear something that she likes well she is a different size. .I don't know what to say to you. She sounds not so nice. She should ask you permission to wear you stuff. She has to get her her own clothing

doodle

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