People Who Use Chat Say 'what Is Forum?'

[Guest Zabrak]

Hey there, Karen! I know you're trying your best and that the chat is very busy.

Thanks for everything you and your staff do. Even if a few people get left out I think a thanks for your work is in need.

[Guest ChrissyK]

Finally a turn of events. I was starting to believe all those words are gonna make newcomers avoid the chatroom at all cost.

Being ignored in the chatroom or forum or even in Life is common. (in the chatroom) Either as Karen said earier, people are too busy or the chat is going too fast that your message was flooded. I personally was ignored many times in the chatroom too, I tend to keep quiet most of the time except when there are teens in the teens room.

Sherlyn

[Sally]

Yes chat is a different world, we deal with live crisis, how often in thew forums do you get

"I got a 45 at my head and I' gonna use it", not often your gonna get that post, user waits for approval and reply.

Staff at chat is often in several different places at once, multiple pms, maybe 2 screen names watching multiple rooms. i do 4 way split screen and watch active rooms, as do many of the chat mods.

I invite any forum moderator to come to chat and do our mod training plus the NCPST certification course on suicide prevention, that's online and it will take up about 45 hours of your time to get your certificate.

Yes we have a group of regulars, same as you have in the forums, only difference is our regulars today won't be the same as 6 months from now,Why? they found what they needed and moved on with their transitions.

Chat evolves minute to minute hour to hour day to day, it's not static like the forums are, it ebbs and flows.

I know some of you have problems with chats interview process, that is under review and is being rewritten, however you must consider it's purpose, and that is to weed out trolls predators and admirers, remember we have teens live on line. also it is to inform, we have live mtf chat ftm chat parents chat S/O chat, all the topics of the forums only we do the live.

I apologize to any forum mod or forum user that feels they have been slighted by staff in chat,

please feel free to e-mail me with any complaints at [email protected]

Karen Hofstetter

Chat Director@ LP

You have stated the reasons that I stay 'out of the way' in chat - I would love to get the NCPST certification and I might just do that pretty soon, but I am going to free a block of time so I don't try to do it ten minutes at a time.

I have a very special place in my heart for those of you who can be chat mods - it is a wonderful talent and I admire you.

I will stay here in the forums and deal with the long term issues which can be worked on in the forums by those of us with slower typing and long range planning.

Great work in the crisis areas,

Sally

[Guest michelle.butterfly]

<hugs to everyone>

Again, I do think there are probably people who are just not cut out for the chatroom; it's a fast pace for sure. The more I have read some of your responses the more I think it's true; if you don't type at breakneck speed, if you feel the need to really compose your thoughts, if you're not one who is comfortable to just pipe up and make yourself heard, then I it's probably not the right place for you. (This is at least for the main chat; I'm very disappointed if a mod was unable to stick around when someone needed to talk!)

And definitely if you are just wanting to get your thoughts out there and don't need an immediate response, or you are posting your poetry, or if you want lots of people to have an opportunity to think about and answer your post, the forums are a better place for that. But again, I'd ask everyone to consider whether it's not just a preference for one style or the other rather than anything inherent in the chatroom.

I'm going to ask a similar question over in the chatroom over the next couple of days to see what the impression of the chat folks is of the forums, if they've even heard of them. I'm interested to see whether I get similar responses. For me, I like both aspects very much and I'm glad I took the time to come over this way, plus I got some cocoa and snicker doodles.

MaryEllen: Ugh, I can't believe that a mod was not more intent on trying to help a suicidal user; I am going to leave you a private message with my contact info in case that ever happens again; I will not let something like that drop. Also, what bizarre behavior to say you were a liar or fraud, when they couldn't know that. I think there is some cynicism there due to the attacks that have occurred at times, and I doubt it would be the same experience every time.

Zabrak: I am once again very disappointed you would have been treated that way by a mod. I'm glad you found the forums for support, but, again, I would not expect the chatroom to be that way for you every time. I am going to bring up some of these issues in the staff meeting next time. (Hmm, maybe I'll actually make it to the staff meeting, I'm really kind of a lame mod, although I have some reasons. Sorry Mama Shar/Karen.) And yes, if you don't get your message answered in chat, you do get pushed right off the page, that's just the nature of it.

Sherlyn: Love ya girl! I'm glad you un-became sad! I am also glad to see at least a little more overlap between chat and forum users. One thing that really surprised me when I showed up over on this side (hmm is this the "dark" side or the "light" side of the force? ) was that no one had heard of me since I had been such a, ahem, colorful user in the chatroom. But, was also kind of nice to get a fresh start, well, at least until I posted my super-long intro that attempted to be not long. Wow I talk too much.

Jackson: Yep, forum and chat definitely a different pace, and I'm personally glad for both.

Kelly Ann: On the other hand, if you fire something off in the chat room that you're not happy with, it quickly is gone, whereas here it is saved for posterity.

Karen H: Yay! Glad you put this up, I think maybe folks over here just aren't as in tune with the kind of stress the mods over at the chat room are under, and I think it's a good point about the regulars changing over time in chat. I hope we can do a better job of getting understanding between the folks here and at chat; at least/especially when it comes to the mods.

Sally: Yes, we need folks like you! I love how you manage to read almost every post and I love how you make sure everyone is welcomed and taken care of. I can tell you care so much about everyone here and I feel so lucky that you are part of the team here. I have seen from the day I got to the forums that you are someone that is making a difference in people's lives!

Mia: Love you hon! I don't have anything particular in response, but you're another person that obviously cares about everyone and are doing your best to make sure this is a great environment for those who need it.

Anyway so this has become another of my insanely long posts but I'm posting it anyway. Love you all!

Michelle [michelle davie butterfly]

[Guest michelle.butterfly]

Bernie! <big hugs>

I have seen you posting here a lot and I recognize you by your photo and always think you have done a good job at responding to others.

I am sorry you have felt irrelevant but it's certainly just a perception not a reality. I am going to try to do a better job of letting people know when they are doing a good job in the future because it would be a shame to lose someone like you because I didn't take the time to let you know that I thought highly of your input and that I was glad you were around.

So: I think very highly of your input and I'm so glad you're here! Love you much!

Michelle

Hi Lizzy!

All that I can say is this... I truely like the forums, because I can reflect on the questions before me and then pontificate my answers. I hope that I have been some help, but since no one responds to my answers, I am beginning to think that my thoughts are irrelevant to anyone.

bernie

[Guest Frank67]

I am in the chat form time to time, mostly in the parents room and this not very often cuz it is so late here 2 o'clock in the morning. I never had problems there, but for the community center I can understand that someone could feel uncomfortable or not welcome. For me it is very difficult to follow (jup my English) and like we say in German it is a most of the time a "Tohuwabohu" it is a hubbub for me.

@bernie

I don't post that much, but I read most of the posts. The problem for me is that I can't wrote much, maybe this will change if Lisa grows older. I am trying for 3 years now to understand the problems and feelings that TG people and esp. the younger ones have, but I think this is not fully possible for one like me. I hold it like Sally, in my case it is better not to write if I don't have to say something just that my counter of post gets higher.

@Zabrak

I had my interview with stu and it was really ok. He (I think), MamaShar, jj, lonewolf and Monica_Jennifer are really nice persons. I think the java applet could be the problem cuz it is not very stable and sometimes I was the one who closed a privat chat window. Not by choice it was the java applet that kicked me out, but you are right I think you have to be in the chat for a long time to become really a member, if you don't write much they could ignore new members and I made the experience that a special member (don't wanna say the name here) likes to tease other ones. I saw it 2 or 3 times - someone came in, said hello and asked for help (can't remember what) and then the special member made a stupid comment and the other one left. Not a really good welcome for someone who is looking for help, esp, for younger ones. This is really wrong, but I know the mods are trying their best and they can't see everything

Frank

[Guest]

In the forums your usually only doing one thing at a time at your own pace. In chat you are multitasking in real time. There is often more than one conversation going on at a time in any room and often both users and mods may be pming in additional conversations simultaeneously. In the forums you can take your time and explore how you feel and choose your words. The conversation is saved and can help others until we run out of disk space. In chat only a few minutes of conversation can be seen to scroll back on that users see then it's gone like in real talk. Typing to keep up takes some getting used to and takes a little practice. The more you do it the faster it gets. Moderators and supervisors in chat often have the added pressure of watching for real time suicide ideation and attempts. They then prioritize and handle the situation in the background. When this happens sometimes other users not in crisis feel they are being ignored. This certainly is not intentional. Many times a shift they are dealing with life and death situations that take priority. If you think chat activity is intense and fast you should see what goes on in the background which is even busier. Supervisors are typing instructions to mods in pm's to help them get users through a crisis. If an actual attempt has been made they have a maximum of 5 minutes depending on the method used to get that user to call emergency services. We don't intervene here as a matter of policy. This goes on all day every day and the chat staff has saved thousands of transgender lives here. Meanwhile the users DON"T see this and rarely know what's going on behind the scenes. Does this happen in other chat's? NO! We are the only ones who handle transgender suicide attempts on line. Some were rejected by hotlines once they mentioned they were transgender elsewhere. So we are the last resort for many. When we are short staffed this means that some of the lesser priorities don't get done. "he said this" "she said that". They aren't being unfriendly they are just busy. To the users though it looks like 5 mods are just standing around not doing anything. That's not true. Only when we read these intense transcipts later do we realize how close we came to losing someone. Thousands of conversations take place in chat each day all jumbled together. Remember we have lots of chat rooms with many conversations going on simultaneously. Imagine, it's all on you to dissuade someone from committing suicide. Then realize that in some cases you only have 5 minutes to do so before the user loses consciousness. Talk about high pressure. Some spend as much as 18 hours a day as volunteers keeping community members alive. Yet users think they are unfriendly. There is a lot our users don't see behind the scenes. Forum and chat Staff have one thing in common. They care about all of you. Even a close call here affects them. Both the chat rooms and forums provide users with unbelievable support not only from the staff but our users as well. In addition to crisis prevention the chat staff also does dozens of support meetings weekly for all groups as well as AA and NA meetings.

Both the chat and the forums are a vital part of this community. Staff in both groups do a fantastic job. If you want a face paced real time place or have immediate problems where you can both support and be supported as well as socialize then chat is the place for you. Moods in there can be up and down in a minute like the weather. If you want to relax and be with your thoughts the forums have their appeal with a little less tension. We do have chat members who aren't comfortable in the forums and forum members who don't like chat. That's why we provide both avenues. It deosn't make one better than the other but it depends on what you are most comfortable with. There is a link under the chat room for the forums and a link at the top here for chat. Most don't come in through my front page the main entryways are either the forums which is the majority or chat. There are actually some who don't even know we have other pages on the site http://www.lauras-playground.com/ . There are thousands of pages on this site not just the forums or chat. They are just the tip of the iceberg with most of the mass below the surface. COuntless things go on behind the scenes here including research. What you get is a lot more than what most users ever see.

The chat and forums are my home and my policy is to treat all my guests well. When that doesn't happen it is rarely intentional. There is no need to have a rivaly between the chat and the forums. Both have their perks and both are important. Go where you feel comfortable. If you're suicidal though real time chat is the place to go for immediate help.

Any forum moderator is welcome to be a chat mod if they take the 7 module youth suicide prevention course. In 5 years Stu (Prince Charmless) is one of the few who've done both. Stu is a transman who is assistant chat director and Vice President of Communications. Don't forget that some chat staff also approve posts here in their spare time. As for me I feel truely fortunate to have the best volunteer staff anywhere and I hope my users do too.

Laura

[Guest Kelly Ann]

The people that make the HelpLine work are always beyond and above the call of duty. There are little bells ringing all around the clock from their thankless/unceasing endevors...thanks all modestly, Kelly Ann

[Guest mia 1]

Thank You Laura for the post and thank you for everything that you do for us,and I am honored to be part of your staff and glad to be part of your team. I've learned so much about our community and about myself also..it is a comfort to know we all are here for each other..on this long strange and beautiful journey..God Bless You and all the staff, members and administrators....Thank You Again....Mia

[Guest Alyssa Leigh]

I have been to the chats before and tried to join in on conversations but also got ignored so i just stick to the forums.

[Guest Jackson]

Since these are going to address several posts in turn:

Sherlyn, accept my sincere apologies when I accidently took Chrissy as your name. I looked at your avatar and the name in the upper left hand corner of your post.

Karen, I don't know how you do it to be able to watch four chat screens at once with that kind of vigilance. Maybe it's because I have to pay that kind of attention at work that I just can't muster that kind of energy once I get home, kick back, and relax.

Bernie, you always seem to say the exact right thing. I have tried not to post anything that is a repeat of what someone else said so well. I especially liked that you used the word "pontificate" because that fits perfectly.

So, yeah, I'm an old-fashioned, slow-thinking (but fast-typing) kind of guy. I am grateful for having both avenues to choose from, but I do have to say that it would take a little bit of practice to get up-to-speed in the chat. I used to do chats years ago, but it was never with that many people either. And I've also gotten older.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Michelle,

I really appreciate you taking the time to send me your kind words. I was feeling rather insecure and alone last night, and I just wanted somebody to say that I mattered.

Thank you!!

bernie

[Sally]

Laura,

Thank you so much for the post, the kind words and most of all the playground!

I have to admit that one of the truly high points in my life was the day that I received a PM from MaryEllen saying that she was inviting me to be a moderator.

She brought Elizabeth K and mia 1 in on that same offer - we are all so glad to be able to help.

Laura has assembled a staff here of all volunteers that I would have given anything to have as my staff when I managed retail stores.

They see a problem and no one backs away, they jump in and fix it!

I am proud to be on Laura's staff in the greatest, friendliest place on the Internet!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ChrissyK]

Sherlyn, accept my sincere apologies when I accidently took Chrissy as your name. I looked at your avatar and the name in the upper left hand corner of your post.

You did nothing wrong The account was created before I settled with "Sherlyn". So yeah, people know me as eith one or both. I can't change the name in my forum profile, so ah well

regards,

Sherlyn

[Guest Evan_J]

Zabrak's right, Chrissy. Even though you may not have your post directly answered, at least everyone reads it. I know that when I read a thread, I'll read everyone's posts.

It's almost like the forum is a really slow version of the chat. Or like chat is the caffeinated version of the forum. And being the relaxed, old-fashioned kind of guy, I'm all for taking time to enjoy.

He's like my other voice, gotta quote him.

That's exactly what I was gonna say, actually the way I thought it out was one is "dynamic" the other is "cerebral". Both highly positive and all but very different. One is caffinated one is slow and allows you to think and answer post-mulling and constructing. And Sherlyn, I read em all too. A person can "never" directly answer each and every post in the thread, we pull out the "strikes a cord" ones or ones we want to give an opposite view on I think. So you're waitin to either "take the words outta someone's mouth" or sound like you need to be "refuted" LOL. (don't believe that, thats called "smart reply by Evan")

[Guest Donna Jean]

Laura,

Thank you so much for the post, the kind words and most of all the playground!

Laura has assembled a staff here of all volunteers that I would have given anything to have as my staff when I managed retail stores.

They see a problem and no one backs away, they jump in and fix it!

I am proud to be on Laura's staff in the greatest, friendliest place on the Internet!

Love ya,

Sally

Oh, My.....I will have to go with Sally's post here to Laura........

What a special place this is. I have been honored to be a Moderator here on the forums and I take it very seriously. I have grown to love so many here and made many friends.....when I first joined, it was for me only. To find a light in my despair, and I was able to grow SO much these last months due to this site.

I do go to the chat rooms also and I'm trying to get acclimated to it...very fast for a country girl like me. The chat rooms and the forums are like two sides of the same coin....both needed to be complete.

Everyone on this site does a superior job and are the most caring, giving folks that you would find anywhere......

And...most importantly....

Thank you, Laura, for giving us a safe place to find ourselves and grow....there is no other place like this in the entire world.

Humbled Donna Jean

[Guest ChrissyK]

Wow....I am honoured this is the 1st thread where I got replies. not sure if anyone noticed what I was implying but ah well, all is good. It didn't turn out to be what I was afraid it would be. But Evan, do explain the last part

So you're waitin to either "take the words outta someone's mouth" or sound like you need to be "refuted"

Sherlyn

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Wow....I am honoured this is the 1st thread where I got replies. not sure if anyone noticed what I was implying but ah well, all is good. It didn't turn out to be what I was afraid it would be. But Evan, do explain the last part

Sherlyn

See people do respond. I will answer any posted topic , but it takes a bit more motivation to respond to a reply, mainly because we are usually expected to stay with the original thread. But that is not written in stone, plus most people who start a topic like to check to see where it is going, so sometimes you will see that person get off the subject a little bit.

I looked you up in your profiles and you post often. I think if really want and enjoy responses you might select a general topic that people might want to see, then monitor that. But be aware that some topics don't get much response, some get a surpring amount of reponses. You must never take things too personally. And as Sally says, if someone makes a great response, she doesn't need to reply because she agrees. Forum seems suited to information, and isn't much like chat.

Sherlyn, we DO respect what you say - you are doing great and really contributing. THANKS

And we love you

Liz

[Sally]

Wow....I am honoured this is the 1st thread where I got replies. not sure if anyone noticed what I was implying but ah well, all is good. It didn't turn out to be what I was afraid it would be. But Evan, do explain the last part

Sherlyn

I thought that I had answered this last night but I don't see it now, I was tired - maybe I disapproved my own post, I'll check my PMs for the reason!

So you're waitin to either "take the words outta someone's mouth" or sound like you need to be "refuted"

You agree with someone completely and there is no need for a reply or you say something that is bound to get a reaction, not necessarily favorable, but a reaction

How's that, Sherlyn?

Just as clear as mud!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest S. Chrissie]

I think so

Sounds like I am seeking attention It's not that I want to seek attention, it's just that sometimes I need some answers to the questions I asked. I rarely do ask questions here >.<

Sherlyn

[Guest Elizabeth K]

See? I sent you a reply. You didn't respond. Its how it works.

Lizzy

[Guest Zabrak]

@michell:

Thanks, michell. If I had just gotten a "I'm busy, sorry." then I wouldn't of taken it to heart and been scared off from chat. But thats ok! The mods are busy as Laura has stated.

[Guest S. Chrissie]

See? I sent you a reply. You didn't respond. Its how it works.

Lizzy

See? I don't recall pointing that reply to anyone specifically, it's to both of you when I wrote the below :

"Sounds like I am seeking attention blink.gif It's not that I want to seek attention, it's just that sometimes I need some answers to the questions I asked. unsure.gif I rarely do ask questions here >.< "

Okay, I don't think anyone got what I meant earlier and thinks that I am just seeking attention. Fine with me. This will be my last reply in this topic.

Sherlyn

[Guest Elizabeth K]

See? I don't recall pointing that reply to anyone specifically, it's to both of you when I wrote the below :

"Sounds like I am seeking attention blink.gif It's not that I want to seek attention, it's just that sometimes I need some answers to the questions I asked. unsure.gif I rarely do ask questions here >.< "

Okay, I don't think anyone got what I meant earlier and thinks that I am just seeking attention. Fine with me. This will be my last reply in this topic.

Sherlyn

Oh sweetheart - we aren't picking on you. We ALL need to be heard and feel important. That's not 'seeking attention,' that's the human condition. You keep on as you are, as we all keep on as we are. It's just fine that way. The Good Lord knows we have enough other problems. wow.

Loves you

Lizzy

[Guest Elizabeth K]

OKAY

THE REAL REASON I STARTED THIS TOPIC

I am an older poster, but I love chat because it is real time. And if you post you are in trouble, everyone will come to your rescue almost immediately. It is the heart of suicide prevention and crisis management here at Laura's - in my humble opinion. The people who administer it and the moderators who work it are diligent, hard working and as quick witted as you can imagine. Chat goes at 100 mph - it is like Forum on steroids. What makes it especially challanging is it can go from 'oh hum' to 'OH MY GOD!" in seconds. Chat is worth watching even if you don't participate.

What a marvelous thing this CHAT we have here at Laura's Playground!

So that said, hummmm.... some of us have a challenge working in Chat. Here are a few recommendations, hints and downright opinions. My apologies to Chat personnel if I skew or twist things a bit, or if I leave a lot out. These are my observations alone.

(1) Chat is almost exactly like Forum. It discourages profanity, guards against preditors and admirers, tries to eliminate stalkers and trolls, and worries about attacks by hate groups. Forum does that too. Both also guard against personal attacks and references to controversal subjects that can cause hard feelings. The main differences?

In Forum, moderators can take time to read postings and make a decision as to their appropriateness, and this is a leasurely process. In chat? It requires an immediate response, with no backup.

In Forum, moderators begin to recognize posters. In Chat, they depend upon what is said, how a person writes, looking for tell-tale signs - difficult to say the least!

(2) Chat is not very much like Forum. It has live action, and uses slang and abbreviations never used in Forum. It is not 'topic' oriented. It is rarely informational, although that does occur. Chat is often silly and seems to be about things that have nothing to do with gender dysphoria at all. Chat has a clique of users at times that know each other very well (HEY so does forum - scratch that). Chat can be confusing to the newbie.

(3) It seems Chat is hard to break into. Why? Because on a busy day, 25 people are talking about 10 different subjects at once. On a slow day, maybe there are 5 people talking about 3 subjects. They just don't have time to look at you and what you have to say, because they are so engrossed in their own discussion. That is sometimes seen as unfriendly. Its not really, its just Chat.

(4) Hints for breaking in: first, be polite - I mean its exactly like a group conversation, wait for an opening. And say something like"am I intruding?" or in the language 'hey can I add something" or the like. If you don't get a response - look at the side bars and see who isn't talking. Sometimes these are 'lurkers' (people too shy or just too uninterested in what is going on). Or sometime people 'park' and are eating a bowl of ice cream or something. So say 'Hey [name], are you there? Start a new conversation. Once you are in , usually others will join you.

(5) If you can't find someone interesting - say its all FTMs discussing binding, and you are MTF, say -'hey girls and guys, going to FTM" And see if anyone follows.

Or look in the other rooms to see who is there - [if FTM do not go to MTF, and if MTF don't go to FTM] - also, teen forum is tightly moderated, so unless you are a moderator its best to stay out. And any of the crisis rooms are off limits unless you are invited. But - it interesting to go into different rooms. Often a person in crisis is just sitting there hoping someone might come in.

(6) Avoid using long sentences as you write. If you have typos dont worry, unless they change the meaning of what you wrote. Break up long explanations into many sendings. If you can't type fast, just do the best you can - keep it short. Dont use apostrophes or other puctuation other than "?" and only when its needed. Grammer and punctuation has little use in Chat.

(7) Be loving and gentle. Let the others do most of the talking, and promt them to tell their story. When they finish they will want to know about you, otherwise they won't listen well. Chat people are a bit wary when they first talk with you, unless they know you. You need to show you are non-judgemental and compassionate. They WILL open up to you IF you open up to them.

(8) Don't say 'how old are you?' Say something like, 'I am {age} and MTF - how about you?" That works for most information you want to know so you can know who you are talking with. Also - try to avoid exacting questions, use something like "what state are you in?" rather than "where do you live?" And if you do get personal , always confess something equally private in advance, 'Ive been marred three times, how about you?" type quetions

(9) All sortsa short cuts are used- LOL is old and outdated for chat user - you are more likely to get an icon of someone yellow bubble-head rollin on the floor. brb = be right back - flash, gone - bathroom break or the dog just peed in the coke can... you never know. It takes some study. Say you are a newbie - what does rotf mean? (rolling on the floor) and most people will help you if you don't know the abbvts.

(10) Expect people to arrive and leave suddenly - that's Chat. Sommetimes they will simply disappear, why? donno? And people will use one name on Chat and another on Forum. Ask if you think you recognize someone. Also some names seem gender neutral, and if you can't figure it out, the protocol is to ask rather than make am assumption (50-50 chance). And you may not know an age at first.

(11) I am seriously senior, and young people will drop you if they feel like they might be talking to a 'dad or mom' type person. This can be tricky - a way to work it is to say- you still in college? The younger will be flattered, the older will usually chuckle and tell you their age. And if you gotta explain how old you are (and you are really older like me) a way to cheat and be honest at the same time, is to say something like "I was a teenager and saw them land on the moon. Ha - it shows you are older, but most young people don't have a clue when that happened (1969). Or if they are an adult, just say older than you! or older than dirt! or something until you are pined down - you will have intrieged them and they will have invested so much time with you that they won't usually leave.

(12) If the moderators don't recognize you they will interview you. They are watching for preditors so this is a great thing they do - be patient and polite. Also if you want to know who is whom - blue pawn pieces are members, red pawn pieces are moderators, othe colors are administrators. 95%of the routine work is done by the moderators. Moderators also routinely join in to the Chat going on. And I don't know why, moderators in Chat seem to be in their twenties, although that is a generalization. They are recruited from the Chat population and the Chat poulation tends to be much younger than in Forum.

(13) Remember many of the members in Chat got there by googling, and may not even realize "Laura's Playground" really exists except in an abstract sense. There are a good many Chat moderators and a few members that use both Chat and Forum. Just remember the user names may be different. And the moderators and administrators in Chat have a hard job, so if you read the rules and watch them closely, you can really help out.

And don't try to help in a crisis that gets out of hand - unless specifically invited. If you wish to participate in this kind of work get the training. A few wrong words may chase off a really desperate person that a trained person can help. But generally, you will run into a hundred, "gee I am so sad today" situations for every full crisis. When working with these unhappy people, follow the moderator's lead. Sometimes moderators are overwhelmed and like to have some help, which is usually just someone who is a good listener.

(14) Moderators are allowed to do this, BUT I recommend NEVER go into PM (this is NOT Forum PM) with anyone without their permission. This is a one-on-one messaging. It is monitored, but if the moderators know you it usually works fine. I alway have the horror of getting into a room with a 13 year old and saying something he /she tells the mother/father - and Laura's gets sued! YIKES It like forum in some ways but it's full of unknowns. And NEVER talk dosages and prescriptions anywhere in Chat - sometimes other people will try to get you to do that in PM.

(15) Most interestingly, admirers and trolls do sneak in. I have had it hapepen to me three times. The dead give away is they want to PM you immediately, they WON"T talk about their TG issues and want to know all about yours. They also want to talk to you on an email. NEVER give out any personal information in Chat. These people are slick. That 17 year old MTF you are talking to who is too shy and wants to email you? He may be a 58 year old pediophile, and trying to meet up with you, especially if he thinks you are a younger person. Chat can be more dangerous than Forum, because there are more people who use it. And there is a need to report any admirers, trolls, etc.

(16) And Chat is fun. If you aren't having fun there is something wrong. Ask a moderator what is what (red pawn remember?) If you get stuck. And you MUST REGISTER SEPARATELY if you want to use Chat.

Go for it!

And I hope this helps

Elizabeth