A way to stay a little safe when meeting random hook ups:

[Guest]

Take a pic of their (your hook up) driver's lic. with your camera phone and send it to a friend, and tell them you will call them at a certain time... If they wont let you take a pic its time to go!

[tracy_j]

It sounds a good idea to me but I must admit the first thing that came to mind is that the whole situation does not sound safe!

Maybe it's me being older and out of touch but last time I met someone I got to know over the internet it was in a very public place in daylight. That was somewhat mutual. I determined that it was unlikely there would be any issues before going any further.

Wanting to take a photo to me is slightly agressive even though understandable.

Be careful!

Tracy x

[JJ]

If the person agrees-and if this is a predator it may precipitate an attack rather than preventing one for some-they may see it as a challenge too. If they end up with your phone could well message those same people that your phone is charged down so you aren't calling but are home safe. Or force you to call-you'd be amazed what you will do when in pain or your life is threatened.

It may, best case, allow your attacker or murderer to be caught if the worst happens -and if you live somewhere an attack on a transwoman is taken seriously. But to me that is cold comfort.

It can be a good idea to tell-verbally, or if you text erase the texts-a secret and unusual word that you use to tell them all is well and arrange a time. Then you have to be sure to send it as agreed and not be distracted by anything. The number of monsters out there is relatively small but even so it only takes one -and one misjudgment-to end or forever change your life. I'd say it wasn't worth it to hook up with someone iffy in the first place.

There are ways to meet someone new in relative safety though. Remaining with friends in a group and a public place is your best bet for an initial meeting. Follow your instincts too. If you are uneasy then you are very likely to have reason from clues your subconscious is picking up. One thing the police stressed in every class I had about being safe as a woman having to go alone into unsafe places was to always, always trust your instincts that way.

Better to be safe. A nice guy will understand precautions-and the ones who don't you don't want

Johnny

[Carolyn Marie]

My advice: don't meet "random hook ups." Go out with people you know, or have been introduced to by friends you trust. Barring that, go with someone, or to a very public and safe place.

If you are with someone and are so unsure of the situation that you feel you need to take a pic of their license, you are with the wrong person.

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Please use the advice above and only meet in crowded places with friends along if possible. Chances are you would be safe but even with a friend things can get ugly very quickly. A photograph sent by phone might solve a crime but it won't necessarily stop one. Play safe!

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

You are all right...

And I just had a bad experience the other night. I think I need to cool down on this for a while, but danger excites me,and I realize it could get me hurt. I think I have some things to sort out.

I have lived a very "colourful" life and as a result some times even dangerous situations feel boring and routine. My shrink likened it to coming back from war trying to fit into "normal" life...

This forum is great help though... thanks...

[Guest Clair Dufour]

As a size 7 you even have to be concerned about women in the ladies room. Size 14-16 women who work in mens trades are very common these days and places like Baltimore and Philly can get rough even if all they want is your wallet. Gay men are not into CD's unless they put out, str8 men get angry when fooled and most str8 women prefer big macho men not CD's. Find the Women's Bars and venues. Lez or Bi they will treat you right as long as you respect their woman space and play by their rules. You don't even have to dress up much. Most of them don't. Know, that there are women with very strong egos in such places who will test your ego and gender.

Also, this is the LGBT Feast season and every major city has one. Fine some and go.

[Ravin]

Okay, if a date asked to take a pic of my license, I'd say no because of the risk of identity theft.

[Guest]

As a size 7 you even have to be concerned about women in the ladies room. Size 14-16 women who work in mens trades are very common these days and places like Baltimore and Philly can get rough even if all they want is your wallet. Gay men are not into CD's unless they put out, str8 men get angry when fooled and most str8 women prefer big macho men not CD's. Find the Women's Bars and venues. Lez or Bi they will treat you right as long as you respect their woman space and play by their rules. You don't even have to dress up much. Most of them don't. Know, that there are women with very strong egos in such places who will test your ego and gender.

Also, this is the LGBT Feast season and every major city has one. Fine some and go.

This is why I hate being small. Sucked in high school, always looked at ,myself as having a girls figure, tried to be macho, I cant.... People always called me gay and a sissy. Even now people ask me if I'm gay. I can fight back a bit, but only so much you can do at 5'7" and 145 lbs, being a kind soul who couldn't run over a squirrel with out feeling guilty. I wish I was gay so I could date a big guy to protect me....

Okay, if a date asked to take a pic of my license, I'd say no because of the risk of identity theft.

lol so true!!!!