Being passable is not just how you look:

[Guest]

But how you stand and walk.

I stand with my feet together or one to the side, shoulders back, chest out hands behind my back.

When you walk do one foot in front of the other and swing your arms.

And when addressing males look off to the side and up, with your hands held at your sides.

If you dont know what to do with your hands hold on to the pleats of your dress with two fingers.

And smile and blink alot...

[VickySGV]

Very important points, and there are others too.

[Guest]

Very important points, and there are others too.

do tell...

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Well it would be important to keep in mind that these sets of gestures apply to really just one kind of personal style.. Like Vicky said there are many more ways to approach ones personal style and how they carry them selves.. I would say one needs to carry them self in a way that fits their personality, peer group, and age group. Most women I know are actually not quite so passive in their gestures, I know I am most certainly not.

[Guest]

Well it would be important to keep in mind that these sets of gestures apply to really just one kind of personal style.. Like Vicky said there are many more ways to approach ones personal style and how they carry them selves.. I would say one needs to carry them self in a way that fits their personality, peer group, and age group. Most women I know are actually not quite so passive in their gestures, I know I am most certainly not.

I'm quite a sissy...

[tracy_j]

I think it would be difficult for me to compile any kind of list.

When feeling feminine I'm just in that frame of mind. Sometimes I realise after I got it wrong but just learn from the experience. It is good to look and learn - not just how women behave but also how others are getting it wrong.

I think it is often the case where people try to follow a set of rules and may well overdo the mannerisms etc and fail in a big way. Most of what a women learns is probably subconsiously through many years of socialising in female groups and picking up mannerisms. When we learn we try to fast track and that is error prone. It is my opinion that the best way to learn is to follow the normal female pattern by socialising as much as possible.

Also looking at women I notice many behave in very masculine ways, mannerisms etc but they are still women. It is sometimes very difficult to determine gender and thinking about it - it is generally with women who look more like men rather than men who look like women.

Just be yourself, look and learn but relax and be natural is my take on it!

Tracy

[Guest So-kool]

I practice in front of a mirror of sometimes take a video and play it back looking for details that I feel I should change. Only because I have a vision of how I would like to carry myself. I do not get out enough to hone my mannerisms in real life experience so I do what I can to be who I want yo be. However, i have also found that in a real life setting there is little to no time to think about your presentation and if it does not come as second nature then it will go to the side. yes I suppose I can present myself to walk like a man with a slouch and a bounce with heavy steps. But I do not think of myself as looking that way. I wish to be perceived as a woman of class and femininity and a touch of elegance. Its got to do with my social circle target. I eventually would like to blend in with woman of middle aged up-scale communities. Most (NOT ALL ) are very conscious of fashion and what is not lady like conduct.

I think your stances and postures are in line with my goals as well. Keeping shoulders back also help the upper torso and shoulder width to appear more narrow. The arm swing helps me to remember to use my hips to walk rather than my shoulders. I try to put one foot in front of the other but I have found that wearing heels helps a great deal. I can add that I give a little wiggle in my step by pushing my heel inward of my back leg while lifting it to make the next step.

I love that so many stores have full length mirrors in them. It helps me to check my posture and reset as needed. Many women are always looking in mirrors so this action does not stand out. Theres my 2 cents worth.

[Charlize]

I would have to say i'm not nearly as passive in appearance. For one thing I look both men and women in the eyes not as an aggressive jester but because i can better read their feelings and responses. I'm so glad that now when i look at women my eyes always meet theirs. I think it is one reason we make up our eyes. I've noticed that actually men are more likely to look away. Maybe they are being coy as you describe.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I discovered something very simple - by accident, in fact - that has helped me immensely.

After seven decades of walking a certain way, it takes effort and concentration not to revert to habit. I was especially conscious of possibly giving off the "wrong" signals when strolling down the beach alone.

This makes no sense on any level, but the mere holding of thumbs to forefingers on both hands always brings me back to the right posture and movement.

I know, I know. But they laughed at Galileo, too.

[Guest]

I discovered something very simple - by accident, in fact - that has helped me immensely.

After seven decades of walking a certain way, it takes effort and concentration not to revert to habit. I was especially conscious of possibly giving off the "wrong" signals when strolling down the beach alone.

This makes no sense on any level, but the mere holding of thumbs to forefingers on both hands always brings me back to the right posture and movement.

I know, I know. But they laughed at Galileo, too.

Holding the thumbs to fore fingers helps.

I kind of have the problem where I act girly when I'm supposed to be a man. I was standing at the store with my feet close, one leg up, wrists limp, etc the other day with a friend and caught him staring at me, I looked at him and said "oh sh!...You saw that?" . It was awkward. When I try to stand like a guy it just looks feels strange...

Best way to do it is not to try...

[tracy_j]

I find it best not to try - or at least not try too hard. I practice a little during the day - walking and sitting etc as I picture myself.

I must admit I am beginning to get confused as some of the things said are slightly contradictory in my mind. As for looking like a guy I think I have always been very feminine with some actions anyway so people are not really surprised at the things I do. This also means that some actions are natural to me so being male I don't really think them female. On the other hand there are really male actions which I would have to learn to be a man!

People are so different so best to be who you are and picture yourself, just working towards that picture without getting too sidetracked by actions and mannerisms that would not really fit your picture!

Tracy

[Guest Sarah Faith]

I find it best not to try - or at least not try too hard. I practice a little during the day - walking and sitting etc as I picture myself.

I must admit I am beginning to get confused as some of the things said are slightly contradictory in my mind. As for looking like a guy I think I have always been very feminine with some actions anyway so people are not really surprised at the things I do. This also means that some actions are natural to me so being male I don't really think them female. On the other hand there are really male actions which I would have to learn to be a man!

People are so different so best to be who you are and picture yourself, just working towards that picture without getting too sidetracked by actions and mannerisms that would not really fit your picture!

Tracy

This is the best response, in my opinion, to this entire subject.. People are so diverse in behaviors and attitudes that there is no one right way, you just gotta know who you wanna be and then make it happen..

[Guest Mickey]

I often wonder about 'passing'. It seems to indicate that you are trying to be something you really aren't. Not, just being yourself. If people misgender me I will politely correct them. I am me, a transwoman, and if you don't like that then I will do my very best to stay away from you. And if I have to deal with a person that has issue with me, being myself, then they had best be on their best behavoir or their boss and the whole world if needed, will hear of their transphobic behavoir.

[Guest]

I often wonder about 'passing'. It seems to indicate that you are trying to be something you really aren't. Not, just being yourself. If people misgender me I will politely correct them. I am me, a transwoman, and if you don't like that then I will do my very best to stay away from you. And if I have to deal with a person that has issue with me, being myself, then they had best be on their best behavoir or their boss and the whole world if needed, will hear of their transphobic behavoir.

I didnt really notice it until I started dressing up alot, but when I sit I make myself small; . Being myself is being girly. l just act natural and thats how it comes out... When I try to stand like a guy it looks stiff...

[Guest AshleighP]

Interesting topic. I agree with the previous posts. Passing for me is partly a state of mind. I almost always assume everyone knows what's under my clothes, and that they wouldn't approve. I think we try too hard to be like the "typical female", and there really is no such thing. Body styles, personalities, mannerisms all vary from one person to another regardless of gender. I have learned the most by observation. If you see someone who's mannerisms and style you appreciate, work at emulating that. I have been working at this for so long now that I don't even think about it much anymore whether i'm dressed or not. My mannerisms and stance have become more feminine than masculine most of the time. So much so that others have commented on it. To which I naturally reply "thank you" and smile.

One more thought. Don't completely discard your own personality. One thing that will always give you away is if you are trying too hard to be someone you're not.

[Guest ToughGuy]

For me, while en-femme, there is something that switches in my mind, it's hard to explain, I just feel so different.

My posture changes, I'm more aware of the slouching that I do while in male mode.

Walking..........well, I'm always in heels while en-femme, theres an art to that to say the least, which adds to the awareness of me presenting as a female.

So as far as "acting" female, don't overthink it, allow yourself time to grow into your own female persona.

That which comes naturally will be the most passable!

TG

[Guest]

^^^^ Where's the "Like" button? ^^^^

[Guest AshleighP]

That which comes naturally will be the most passable!

TG

Totally agree with this! Thanks for stating it so eloquently.

[tracy_j]

So as far as "acting" female, don't overthink it, allow yourself time to grow into your own female persona.

That which comes naturally will be the most passable!

TG

To follow Ashleigh - I agree - Well worth repeating!

Tracy x

[Guest joan eden]

To me appearing female is not my goal. Appearing as a lady that's well dressed and well mannered is my goal . Also perhaps attractive as well.Kenna's finger trick reminds me to get into that place. Feel llike a lady, act like a lady. Get in the groove.I agree with So-Kool. And thanks for the tip Kenna.

[Guest Wendae]

Here in Florida it seems that only well dressed women bother to walk ladylike. Maybe it's the heels. When they are dressed casual it seems they lose the feminity except for the younger ones. At my age I don't attract alot of attention and I dress accordingly. I'm now 73.

[Guest sweetcharlene41]

I'm 73 years old to, and I FIND IT VERY HARD TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS (diabetes), but I wear them occasionally. Most of the time I wear flats or wedged sandals, As far as walking and talking, I have a very deep voice, so usually I keep my mouth shut, the walking, well since I don't go out, I don't worry about it. I ENJOY BEING EN FEMME, AND LOVE BEING A CROSS DRESSER, HUGS TO ALL.

[Guest Kati]

I spent part of this week watching the girls at my workplace walk. Perhaps this wasn't a representative sample for a scientific conclusion, but based upon my observations any connection between how females walk on the runway and walk in every day life is negligible. And yet when you look at You Tube videos of crossdressers walking you see inflated reflections of the catwalk. It seems to me that part of passing is passing over the runway walk for a more natural walk.

[Guest Markietoo]

Just like so many posts on LP all of these comments have our own personal experiences in them. Not being a petit person, 5' 10" and about 200 lbs. (down from 265, yeah me!) I'll never be that slim, teenage girl in my imagination. also, being 64, I've had a lifetime of working so very hard to act and appear as the man I was supposed to be. Living full time for the past 7 months I can now be that woman I always felt myself to be. How do I act out there in the real world? Like myself but with a bit more care and do my best to fit in with what I see in the women around me. I'm more careful about how I walk since that is a simple thing to do naturally. No more GIANT steps striding about like men tend to do but a more feminine walk that feel natural to me. Being more myself seem to have allowed me to move more gracefully than I did before this transition and in ways I didn't even notice myself. Friends, family my electrolysis lady and even my GT have made comments about how "you move like a woman" to me. Each time that makes me smile and say I say "thank you". I agree that the most important thing to grasp is to be you and confident in how you present yourself. I am a woman and expect others to accept me as that person. We come in all sizes and shapes, big and small, skinny and not so thin, beautiful in countenance and for most of us, hopefully, beautiful in spirit. That last the most important of all.

Markie

[Guest LizMarie]

People often focus on the way women move their hips and the placement of their feet when they walk (the catwalk walk). But in my experience that's not the critical thing in having a more feminine walk.

I experimented with a walking simulator created by the bio motion lab in California (you can find it here) that would focus on the joints and the positions of the legs and arms when walking. What the simulator showed, and it was programmed by using motion capture of actual women and men walking, was that women tend to walk with arms closer to the body and legs generally closer together. This is not the catwalk walk at all. This is the normal female walk in day to day situations.

I urge people to study the simulator. There are four sliders that allow you to tune the different factors to different levels. Watch that and you will get a better idea of how women walk and how you can walk like a woman.