Been depressed lately

[Guest JayGray]

I've missed a few days of work due to depression in the last two weeks. I was all ready to come out to the rest of my friends and family. I felt I was ready, since I'll be seeing my Endocrinologist on July 1st. I wrote my coming out message, showed it to my therapist and got a thumbs up, and then the depression set in. I don't think it's related to my gender ID issues, though; I think it's coming from my work being a night job and my wife working a day job. We haven't seen each other much in the last two weeks.

I just don't feel like getting up to go to work. I don't feel like putting on a happy face and dragging myself down there. Work is draining; as an introvert, working with the public tires me out. Since I work for a BIG NAME company, I have to meet their high expectations for guest service as well.

I'm drained.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Jay,

<<< hug >>>

Sorry to hear your having trouble

Give it some time and do what you can when you feel it is the right thing for you to do

Follow your heart , It will take you where you need to go safely

Things are gonna work out for you, Just be patient

If you ever need to chat, the chat rooms are always a hoppin

We all do care and will do what we can to try and help you as best we can

Any way till then Be Good

And know that you are loved

With love from

vanna

[Charlize]

I would guess that at least some of what you feel is related to your GD. Coming out to family and friends is very stressful. Through on that starting HRT and you have a lot on your plate at one time. If you are introverted i presume your wife is one person you can share with and even that avenue is closed to you now because of your work situation. I'm glad you are sharing here and i would take Vanna's invitation and go to chat and talk to a Mod there. Perhaps you could call your GT as well. If things get worse please don't hesitate to go to your doctor. I was depressed for some time and medication did help me. One important thing i found was to not isolate. Just climbing into a hole and hoping it gets better may work for a physical injury but the mind keeps working.

Try to keep reaching out and doing what you can. It will get better just get though this day and tomorrow will be different.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

Hon, I think you should talk with your therapist about how you are feeling. Whether its work, family, or gender related, its still depression and that needs attention.

Have you given much thought to trying to change jobs to something you would like better? I know its not as easy as it sounds, and sometimes its not possible right away, but there are options to maintaining the status quo. I wish you well, Jay, and hope your situation improves.

In the meantime, please continue posting, even if its just to vent.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JayGray]

I have my regular session on Monday, so it's not too far away.

As for changing jobs, that's not an option right now; my company is making things more than easy for my transition, so I'm planning on staying here at least until that's all said and done. I'd be interested in moving elsewhere within the company, but I still feel like I have a lot to learn where I am.

Not isolating is hard. I prefer to isolate. I still socialize online, because that doesn't drain me. Making myself get up and do things is tough.

[JJ]

Hi Jay

After transitioning I found that more of my depression had been related to being trans and the stress it caused than I could have imagined. I have a host of reasons to be depressed but in reality that was the root. And when you are coming out and about to take big steps like seeing your endo. the stress amps up even more. Having less access to your wife can definitely up that stress as well. When we are stressed we get depressed. And I understand isolating as well-when I am depressed I tend to want to be alone in my own head and withdraw from the world till I work myself out of it. I know intellectually that is actually counterproductive but it takes all my will power to overcome the tendency.

You've been given some wonderful advise and I am glad you will be seeing your therapist soon.

Johnny