Came out at work!

[Guest Cody76]

So about two days ago I decided enough was enough and I wanted to go to work with mascara and light colored lip balm. The next day I wore eye liner with it and I think a little blush. Today I had eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush, lipgloss and I tell you I look great! Everything went great. First person that acknowledged it was one of my co workers she just said hey cody are you wearing eye shadow and I answered enthusiastically yes I think it looks good. I'm not wearing it to please anyone but myself but I said it in a very upbeat way that made it clear I wasn't showing any hostility towards her and she smiled and I returned to my work.

A couple hours later a different co worker asked if she could talk to me in the back and like a lot of people I'm thinking what did I do wrong? I go back and she just says Cody if anybody here gives you any crap about your makeup you go straight to a manager and I told her I had thought about this and I was really just concerned about being treated differently by management i.e. discriminated like expected to work harder, cut to hours etc. She told me that wouldn't happen they can't discriminate based on this.

About 5 minutes later the person that's completely in charge of the deli and a few other departments pulled me aside and assured me I would not be discriminated against based on the makeup he told me about how one of Walmart's core beliefs is respect for the individual and he told me any co-workers tease you, call you names, or harass you go straight to him and they are forbidden to retaliate in any way. Of course they cannot control the customers but I'm not worried. Most people tend to not disrespect people who prepare their food I've noticed. At least based on things like being trans that would cause that same person to maybe make a sarcastic possibly hurtful comment to the person. Now they do get upset occasionally for messing up their order but that is logical.

I'm just super excited about this. I get to have my creative outlet at work!! It's fair to say I've been a lot more happy and cheerful with customers since I've wore makeup. God I love freedom.

[Charlize]

That sounds like an almost perfect response to your being yourself. Simple acceptance is all we can ask but then to get support as well is wonderful.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Cody76]

That sounds like an almost perfect response to your being yourself. Simple acceptance is all we can ask but then to get support as well is wonderful.

Hugs,

Charlize

Pretty much what happened the fact that they pulled me aside to let me know they would help me if I got any crap felt very good. I would have been just fine if nobody acknowledged it and treated me the same as always. It's funny I get a lot of looks from people and six months ago that would have killed me probably. Spice is a bad drug period but especially for a trans person. I remember I started to try to come out at work about six months ago. But once I took a hit of that drug I instantly felt like something terrible was going to happen to me for coming out. Eventually I gave up. But then a miracle happened the business that was still selling that terrible drug it's like crack in terms of short high so you need it again now right now. Anyways they got busted and since then I've lost weight (that drug takes over your will power and you must have junk food all the time) I accept myself completely and don't care if other people do and my money is easier to control now. That's the worst drug I've ever been unfortunate enough to take. At first spice wasn't that bad the first generation chemicals in terms of addictive properties and side effects. But the stuff I was on six months ago felt like heroin and crack. I would dose off all the time. It was uncommon for me to be consciouss for more than four hours unless I had to work. Wow don't know where that came from but yeah support is better than acceptance albeit acceptance is all I need.

[Guest Cody76]

Lol not that I've done heroin and crack I just think from what I've heard of those two extreme drugs. The third generation chemicals of spice were on the same level. Some batches would make me feel up and some down.

[Carolyn Marie]

Cody, you are very lucky to be working in such a supportive, tolerant environment. I wish it could be so for everyone. I can tell how happy you are from your words, and I applaud your courage and faith in people.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest April Kristie]

Congrats Cody on making new inroads with your employers and perhaps some nice co-workers. Keep smiling and enjoying your freedoms. Secondly, I want to comment to you on your considerable experimentation with many of the street drugs. Your body is not a playground!, You are taking such far reaching risks with the spectrum of foreign substances you ingest. Been there, done that! Were the drugs I ingested when I was around your age any different? NO! Was I trying to supplant my Gender Dysphoria by getting out of my head as much as possible? My GD and I say a resounding yes. I was not able to wear makeup in my social life at 20 yrs old, I would not have been accepted by peers or co workers. You on the other hand just took a major step towards your journey in this life. Please try to examine why you still need things like spice, dmx, or any other psychotropic drug to alter the reality you seem to know you want. I wish you nothing but success in your future. Huggs!

[Guest Cody76]

Cody, you are very lucky to be working in such a supportive, tolerant environment. I wish it could be so for everyone. I can tell how happy you are from your words, and I applaud your courage and faith in people.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

It is great how supporting of an environment is. But with my income there's no way I can afford a car and apartment it simply won't work. I won't leave this job unless I know the new job will be at least accepting any interview I have I will show up with my makeup and ask about their harassment policies. It's cool too all the same people that have always greeted me (a couple hundred people work at my store) still greet me even though I look a lot different with makeup on I thought people who didn't work in my immediate area would shut off to me that hasn't happened I think people are happy for me I can just sense it. I've struggled with anger problems for as long as I can remember and just general emotional issues. But I think people have noticed that there's a happiness in me the last few days and the person that they were once chill with but knew had their own personal acceptance issues has plowed right through that.

[Guest Cody76]

Congrats Cody on making new inroads with your employers and perhaps some nice co-workers. Keep smiling and enjoying your freedoms. Secondly, I want to comment to you on your considerable experimentation with many of the street drugs. Your body is not a playground!, You are taking such far reaching risks with the spectrum of foreign substances you ingest. Been there, done that! Were the drugs I ingested when I was around your age any different? NO! Was I trying to supplant my Gender Dysphoria by getting out of my head as much as possible? My GD and I say a resounding yes. I was not able to wear makeup in my social life at 20 yrs old, I would not have been accepted by peers or co workers. You on the other hand just took a major step towards your journey in this life. Please try to examine why you still need things like spice, dmx, or any other psychotropic drug to alter the reality you seem to know you want. I wish you nothing but success in your future. Huggs!

You're right I know. I just don't know where to begin in order to answer the question of why can't I stop? Don't know I have the motivation to either. Because know I smoke pot so in my mind I can rationalize to myself this isn't a big deal because of how much worse I was doing. And pot doesn't really cause me much problems like other things I've done. I guess occasional mucus in the lungs is a little annoying but my problem right now is I like it more than I don't like it.

But for spice and dxm I don't like those a lot more than I do like them.

[tracy_j]

Thats good Cody!

I know how it feels as I was in a similar position some while back now. I knew I could not really change my way of dressing much for work as I visit people in their homes with work so have to dress acceptably but decided to wear makeup.

I just cannot really overdo it but it is really noticeable (I tend to wear more than most female staff). Close collegues do mention it occasionally (in an accepting way) but otherwise it is never mentioned. Generally the people I visit never do although some women have said they like it! I work in an organisation where equality practiced.

Yes it does feel good and makes me happier in my work

Tracy x

[Charlize]

Cody if you think you might have a substance abuse problem and want to stop please join us at chat on Sunday(tonight) 9 eastern. We have fun but are also serious about getting and then staying sober. Funny i never thought i could have fun and sober in the same sentence but now it's my life.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest April Kristie]

Cody, at times I see myself as a two spirit person, why? As having lived as a male for a long time and now as a female I can see both sides of the coin and better understand the feelings and motivations both genders present to this world. My body has been immersed in testosterone and now Estrogen, it does affect the way you see things. I also smoked marijuana and it's derivitives for around 40 years. I do not do it anymore because I like my memory and pot will let you forget everything over time, I like who I am now...a woman and when I did smoke as a woman I did not like who I had become while high, how it effected me and my family relationships. I do not ingest any "other" substances these days, I am more interested in becoiing the physical woman I have known since I was at five years old. All I can say is that a lot of people party because of who they hang out with, perhaps it's time to cut some bad influences from your circles and just try taking a phlegm free deep breath of clean air. Try that Sunday night group you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. All the best to you,

[Guest Cody76]

Cody, at times I see myself as a two spirit person, why? As having lived as a male for a long time and now as a female I can see both sides of the coin and better understand the feelings and motivations both genders present to this world. My body has been immersed in testosterone and now Estrogen, it does affect the way you see things. I also smoked marijuana and it's derivitives for around 40 years. I do not do it anymore because I like my memory and pot will let you forget everything over time, I like who I am now...a woman and when I did smoke as a woman I did not like who I had become while high, how it effected me and my family relationships. I do not ingest any "other" substances these days, I am more interested in becoiing the physical woman I have known since I was at five years old. All I can say is that a lot of people party because of who they hang out with, perhaps it's time to cut some bad influences from your circles and just try taking a phlegm free deep breath of clean air. Try that Sunday night group you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. All the best to you,

I want to stop yet I don't want to. I don't really have any friends at this point I have one person I hang out with very occasionally of course it usually does involve drugs but the times I'm alone are the times I want it the most. I want to stop but I don't want to stop even more and until it changes to the other way around I know I will not be able to stop. Now what's it going to take to make that happen is the scary question. Not scary because something bad will happen but scary because this drug affects me so mildly compared to others and so I don't think anything will happen to cause that so I may be doomed to be un motivated and high for the rest of my life.

[Guest Cody76]

Yeah my drug problem definitely comes from within because pretty much all druggy friends I had throughout high school and shortly after told me I need to slow down.

[Charlize]

It is a good thing that you recognize the problem. Many just can't see it. My experience with drugs and alcohol lead me very close to death. Even then i wasn't willing to recognize or want to deal with the problem. It was a bit of a miracle that helped get me to AA. My grandson was born and i realized i couldn't even pick him up. I no longer had control of my body and was drunk on a constant basis. I only had to drink enough to maintain the 'high'. I wanted to die even more but instead went to a meeting. That was a little over 7 years ago. i see my grandson and his younger brother all the time and they have never seen me as the addict i was. You have to want it but sobriety is certainly possible and for me it opened the door to a wonderful life i'd forgotten.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Cody76]

I would just like to say I've come out entirely and the desire for mind altering substances is slowly fading away.