The Dollars and Sense of Crossdressing

[Guest Kati]

I try to be sensible when it comes to money. My financial pockets like the pockets on my favorite female jeans are quite small. This demands a high degree of financial care. I do occasionally splurge but only within limits. So what does this have to do crossdressing? No matter how you slice it, crossdressing is an expensive undertaking. There are, of course, ways to minimize expenses such as visiting thrift shops, etc., but even so crossdressing costs plenty. I was wondering, on average, how much you spend per year on crossdressing?

I haven't calculated 2014 yet, but in 2013 I spent almost $700. Admittedly this is not in the same league as the U.S. federal government, but it's still a chunk of change. Perhaps over time as more of the essentials are in the closet and on the vanity, this amount will decrease. Somehow I doubt it. Tastes change or in my case tastes are refined which requires more purchases. I'd like to be sensible about my crossdressing, but it does bring out in me the desire to spend freely. Thoughts?

[VickySGV]

I am not sure I can help you much since I am fully transitioned and simply live as a my True Self. Some of your cost will depend on how you do the job. You can replace your underwear, and then it balances to your old boy budget for underwear. Wal Mart women's T shirts are actually cheaper than male T shirts. If you can go to direct replacement of male by female clothing, so much the overall cheaper.

For evening dresses and cocktail dresses, its going to depend on where and how often you go out. I place them in the $80 range, but one per season will do nicely. Figure it for clothing as a whole, and just add it to your budget which should be 15% to 20% of your net income. Shoes via Payless Shoe Source are in the $12 to $24 range, but get one pair that will go with all your club wear and they will be good for 6 months.

It's called self discipline, but at my end of things its nearly $4K per year. The problem is I am more interested in looking nice now than ever before. I just changed a T shirt because I dripped Ketchup from a sandwich on it an hour ago, which I rarely did in male mode.

[Guest Kati]

Our circumstances are quite different (you are out and about and I am in the closet), but your message was helpful in gaining a perspective about the financial realities of pampering our feminine proclivities.

My post was prompted in part by the fact that I treated myself to a new bra and a few panties yesterday to the tune of $80+. I was feeling guilty about the purchase.

Thanks again for writing, Vicky. It was a pleasure to read your thoughts.

[Guest Laura Beth]

I know it is like to put together a wardrobe of clothes. I am on a very limited budget myself and don't get to buy things very often. But I shop around the various stores including thrifts store to find items to add to my closet or dresser. I picked up 7 bras at Walmart a few days ago for less than $50. The one day I picked up an evening dress for $40 at a name brand store that was on sale. I have three dresses, three skirts, pair of jeans and slacks along with about 8 tops of varying types. This I have picked up over a few years as money was available.

Alberta Danielle

[Guest Kati]

Megan, congratulations on the weight loss (x2) and the new job. Both are excellent reasons to treat yourself to a new wardrobe. As I closeted crossdresser it is more difficult to justify spending money simply for my own private pleasure.

Thanks again for writing. It is delightful to read your exciting news. Happy shopping!

[tracy_j]

I must admit that I started out buying things as I liked them and justified this by wearing them for modelling for my drawing. In a way this was expensive but at least it contributed to a good hobby!

There are many things that I have got but seldom, if ever, wear. I am more fortunate in that my size has not changed much so I can still wear them.

These days I am far more choosing of clothes, partly because of the expense, but also because I have very little space left in the wardrobe! I have both male and female clothes but, outside of work, I tend to wear combinations of both so there is much overlap. When I am not out with my partner (who is not happy being with me dressed so feminine) I tend to wear skinny jeans or jeggings with a feminine top. Even with a short plain skirt or bodycon dress disguised so as to not look 'in your face' female (I find jeggings a little obvious with no zip etc so like a skirt or similar just to cover to upper thigh). This gets a few looks but I think because I am now more confident and also look more female (longer hair, makeup and perhaps more feminine body language) most people either do not notice or care. I have found also that I am being taken as female more even though I am not really trying.

I suppose the point of this is that I a trying to say that I now tend to buy things that I can wear both as feminine male or female so they get more use. I do love fully female things (pretty skirts and dresses etc) but limit those I buy, and as far as possible plan when I am going to wear them before I buy. This is noting that I like to go out these days. In our busy house and neighborhood being too girly, although not impossible, would create too much strife! I have to plan to be somewhat more distant from home as a prettily dressed woman which does not happen often.

Tracy

[Guest ashleynikole]

I haven't spent a ton of money on bras simply because I don't want to waste it if they aren't going to fit just right for now (boobies are still growing), but I do however love underwear from Victoria's Secret because they are usually high quality and I only purchase during sales (which the last 2 have netted me 14 pairs of underwear for $52). I also like the fact that they are nice and don't have to be hand washed. That helps.

It's all about shopping right, but only time will tell if I can keep up the good work.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest Cyd]

I'll throw my evolving FTM perspective into the ring for fun.

In addition to being near the beginning of my gender journey, I am a Franciscan--which means I try to live in the spirit of poverty (which doesn't mean subsisting on bread and water, but rather just being conscious about not wasting or over-consuming resources of all kinds). So I was already in a fairly simple-dressing state of mind. But I've found that the "maler" I get, the harder it is to wear women's clothes--even khakis, shorts, etc. It just makes me feel very uncomfortable to put women's clothes on, I guess because I know I'm dressing against my heart's desire.

So over the past several months, I've been on a bit of a tear, buying men's clothes for the various parts of my life: office job, yoga/workout, bike commute. The one thing I don't have to buy new duds for is church and religious functions, since for those I wear my Franciscan habit, and just shorts and a t-shirt underneath. I've tried to be frugal as much as I can, so I've shopped at a thrift store and Target for the most part, with some online purchases at Under Armour (for compression shirts to flatten my chest) and Amazon (fitted men's t-shirts that won't fall into my armpits when I'm in downward-facing dog in yoga class). But the total expense has been quite a hit to my budget, and I'm thankful that I'm pretty much set for a while now (or at least hope I am).

Those of us going from F to M definitely have a financial advantage over you all going from M to F, as society doesn't seem to expect nearly as much fashion sense from men. We can get away with looking pretty rumpled and repetitive much of the time.

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Groan. Please don't mention expenditure. I adore buying clothes. I use E-bay and always go for the cheapest but I must have spent an absolute fortune on clothes of all types. From sensible dresses and skirts through to risqué basques. And shoes and boots - let's just not go there. But a 'binge' happens from time to time.

But there is this. I only rediscovered cross-dressing at 53. So in a way I am making up for a lifetime 'in the dark'. Had I listened to my inner self, and continued what I did as a teenager, I would be so much more at ease and already-explored. But I lost all that and only now have I rediscovered it. And in a mediocre, tired, boring middle age it has been a revelation. I have totally enjoyed my buying splurges and actually would not swap it for anything. It has given me a new sense of self and purpose.

Now the buying splurges have come to an end. I can look at stuff and think "I have that, or something similar" and move on. I keep reminding myself to enjoy what I have.

I have not purged - but I have packed away what I decided was poor judgement and misfits. I think I will pass these to charity because I never spent much on them.

We have to start and learn somewhere. E-bay has been an education and life saver for low-cost ladies clothes and I have been very happy in my buying. I have rarely bought a duff item, and in hundreds of purchases only encountered three bad sellers. E-bay has kept my costs right down and allowed my to buy discreetly. It has been my cross-dressing life saver.

But even at its cheapest, it is an expensive 'hobby'. And I have to budget incredibly carefully!

Eve

[gennee]

I lost a lot of weight and gave away some things. I was able to purchase new clothing at the thrift shops and sales. Recently my wife and I purchased a dozen tops and skirts for 50 dollars. Ninety-five percent of my clothes come from thrift sales.

I received my fashion sense from my mom so I know how to coordinate my wardrobe. That's saves me from purchasing articles that do not match what I have. I always get compliments about it also.