Authenticity

[Guest Maddie8484]

Hey everyone,

After having such a great week, I was pretty excited for church yesterday (which has never happened lol). Now, to be clear, my church is an old fashioned southern baptist church. For years I didn't really think about how my church's idea of worship and my idea of worship were so different. Last week, I felt God's presence all the time but when I was sitting in church, I didn't feel anything. Another thing that bothered me was how I had to put on a "mask". For years I've been going to church there, in guy mode, and while it did bother me, it wasn't any worse than going to the store. I suppose, now that I am actively seeking God, that I felt I wasn't being honest with him just like I wasn't being honest with the people around me. Does that make sense?

I talked to my dad about me visiting other churches and he was fine with it. The only thing that keeps me from going is leaving my friends. All my friends that I have told I am trans also go to church there. Since they are well on their way in starting families of their own, we don't really see each other anywhere besides church. I suppose I could just talk to them about it. That would make sense lol. It really is therapeutic to type out my thoughts on here lol.

-Maddie

[Charlize]

Thank you for sharing Maddie. Finding a place where you can share your spirituality as well as your own true self is a worthy goal for certain. I'm sure your friends will understand. the most important thing is for you to be comfortable in the congregation you choose. Many are quite accepting and you will certainly make new friends. Perhaps it may take some time to find the right church but it may well be worth the effort. I might spend a moment and read some of the posts in the spirituality, religion forum to see what churches may be the best.

I'm glad you shared with us and hope you find a place to worship where you are made to feel you truly belong.

Hugs,

Charlize

[VickySGV]

In the number of Trans* folks whom I know, spiritual sensitivity runs at extremely high levels. The self honesty factor is a very big issue in our lives as well. The result is that we often will sense when we are "being driven by the spirit" to being ourselves and being driven out of old life patterns. I had attended my dad's choice of a church from age 9 until I was in my early 20's, but even there, there had been some periods when I did not feel quite right, and would not attend for weeks at a time. At the age when my "friends" in my age group were also beginning their families and getting married (sometimes in that order) I had felt that I no longer had a spiritual home there, and went to the denomination my mother belonged to (although not her parish), where I got a major feeling of it being my intended spiritual home. At that time I could not put a real name to my GD, since the term had not been coined then. I was married in that church, but when my marriage broke up I did not attend for several years, but at last felt "pushed" into another church of the same denomination that was near my house at the time. I have attended that church for over 24 years by now, and came out there in 2011 and am very active as a lay minister of the Word and I am on the lay board which governs the church. You can read my posts in the Christianity Forum of my journey and experiences there, which do give me a very wonderful feeling.

What you are describing is both age normal and Trans* normal for your feelings about your church. It is a double edged sword, that most churches do encourage the mold of our birth designated selves, and then encourage honesty with our deity which works out to the fact we do not fit in our BAG (birth assigned gender). It is time that you and your friends will drift apart, and each of you will take a different spiritual path, look forward to what will be on yours.

[Guest ashleynikole]

I know how you feel Maddie.

I served in a pretty high position at my church where I attended for almost 6 years (I move through leadership quickly...natural gift) and when I came out, I was told to take some time off to figure out what I was going to do. Once I decided and told them, I was told I wouldn't be able to serve anymore. Nice huh? Did I mention also southern baptist? Anyway, my kids love that church and I've started thinking that I shouldn't hold it against them for 1 bad piece of theology (one they've never really had to deal with anyway) so once my divorce is finalized, I will be living full time and I may go back there but simply to have a place to worship where I agree with 95% of their theology and my kids really do get a great place to grow. It remains to be seen if they will figure me out (eventually they'll see my kids and me together) and they will either see how much of a Christ follower I am, or they will kick me out. Only one of those paths is non Pharisaic so we'll see if they choose love or control.

However, for you, there are a ton of churches out there that will accept you as you are so you will find just what you need.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest noeleena]

Hi,

Lets look at this from a people perspective no matter what group or Socity or club or where you work and does not really matter were you go or who you see or mix with ,

What im pointing out is this is about each person born on this earth , okay so leave out the Word church , and look at those people

take sport,s does every one like the same sport or live in the same style of house or work the same job. or eat the same food ,

its about what each of us likes and maybe not like,

so dont expect every one to accept or belive in the same way as you may , or clothes what you wear or different styles or garb ,

So dont expect those with your group to just accept you may be a bit different and in what way does not matter , you are different and so am i and we are not even the same , we are human and thats were it ends after that we have all kinds of differences, lets just say you may accept the earth is flat so and i may think its like an egg ,

Now my point is can we accept each other regardless and still be friends or do we stop our friendship just because for what ever reason we see this differently, or do we aggue till we die,

Now we both could be right its in how we see this earth detail and what expreance we have , or dont,......

So those with in the church groups are no different its about what they have been taught and to have that changed , we must allow the Spirit of the Lord to do the Changing , not us ,

i know what its like i have 57 years with many different church groups and know what the Party line is yet im involved with one now as a Band member, i have friends going back 16 years so know many and most have no issue with my self in fact i was a member of the womens group some 9 years ago , there were 25 of us and our grandaughter ,

Now there were 5 who would not accept my difference as an intersexed female so i wrote a lovely letter and gave it to our home group leader and explained the concerns and said i would pull back and take time out . okay now a few years later im back and have been wellcomed back and accepted by those i know , those who would not accept myself are gone,

I know many were very disapointed in the way those who would not accept myself have said they should not have been that way ,

well for what ever reason and i dont know i just leave that with the Lord to work out ,

You see some times when we let the Lord look after us in the time that is right , it does work out now trust me i had to learn about people and accept that i would not allways be accepted .

Ill use this where the Lord is there i can be and thats any where, and we dont have to be all the same its about getting on with others ,

and dont be discouged when some wont accept our differences. let the Lord use us in the way that is right,

...noeleenna...

[gennee]

We are all on a journey and a spiritual renewal may be a part of it. We may have to leave places which we have formed friendships and where our families were created. I left a fine church to attend the one I currently attend. It was because we moved. It is where I introduced Gennee to the congregation after six months in male mode. It was a defining moment in my life.