Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

<3 <3 <3 Merry Friendly Hellos From A Very Insecure & SHY Girl <3 <3 <3


Guest Daughter

Recommended Posts

Guest Daughter

Hilo everyone, I don't know what to say to be fully honest with you all.. I have been on support forums like these in the past but have never ever really stuck around to be really engaged with an community. I am deathly shy to a point that I even have MAJOR social anxiety, I am even shaking just typing this. My old therapist suggested to me that I joined a forum like this and to try to be open and social and see where that leads me. :( I miss my therapist, she was so' helpful!! I had to stop seeing her because I just recently graduated high school, she worked at the online school that I went to..now I have nobody to talk to anything LGBT related with, I hope this forum changes that though!! I feel alone, really-really alone even though I am surrounded by people..not really anyone in my family understands me AT ALL..I am out to my whole family but they don't accept the true/real me, I am not allowed to get any support with being LGBT or even talk to really anyone about it as long as I live under their roof they have told me a lot of times..my mama said I could freely talk to her about being trans' but that was basically a huge lie, she gets REALLY upset even if I bring up the subject!! I am 19 nearly 20, I plan on moving out of my parent's house someday in the near future like maybe in about a year or two..I am not going to rush out of here even though its tough for me, I got to get a steady income & learn how to drive & some other important life things before I make a move to get away from my family..nobody in my current home ever physically abuses me so' I think I can take a little while more here!! I have no friends, I lost my only friend about a week ago due to him thinking that he can get "much cooler" friends than "odd little me". My last therapist (((the one I was talking about earlier in this post...))) was 110% convinced I was transgender (MtF), I told her my whole story and she was REALLY supportive about who I was..she was not the first person that I talked to about this with but she has had one of the biggest positive impacts on me because she really did make me feel NORMAL-SO'-'SO-Normal! I am so sorry about how random & boring this post has been, I am controlling my emotions about all of this. My parents & homophobic little brother are in denial of the fact that I am trans', they have always just told me that I am just an "hormonal confused teenager that is going through a weird phrase"..well, this does not feel like some "phrase" to me in any way, I have felt this way ever since I could remember..I did not know the name for it ofcourse but the feelings & emotions has always been there. I believe with my whole heart that I am an GIRL. I first REALLY noticed that I was "different" around the age of just 3 years old, I was not the average "boy"-the "other" boys my age wanted to play rough in the mud and stuff while I wanted to just sit and mess around with dolls. I have been in dressing in girl clothing in secret since around the age of 4-5, my mom still does not know that I have been secretly wearing her clothes for over 10 years even though I am OUT to all of my family!! I never ever got along with boys but always with girls growing up, pretty much all of my friends were girls. I loved playing dress up all of the time when I was younger. I also even thought that I would just magically turn into a girl when I was younger-I did not know anything really much about anything LGBT growing up so I just assumed when I was younger that I would just magically be in a body that I felt comfy' in somehow. I have always dreamt of being in a female body too, I have had vivid dreams of being a princess in a little cute blue silk dress. I have always hated my penis, I cant even look at it!! There were other clear signs of me being a trans' female when I was younger but I cant think of them right now because I am with tired.

My family are JEHOVAH WITNESSES, I grew up in a extremely really tight hardcore religious conservative household that was really anti-liberal. My parents think my whole being is an huge sin, it scares them.

Its really tough living with them, I used to run away from home a lot when I was younger because they drove me mad. Being bullied to almost death in school did not help anything too. I don't self harm or suffer majorly with any eating disorders anymore but I do sometimes get depressed and super anxious still.

Kids growing up always assumed that I was a "super gay boy" so' most of them were not-so-nice to me. I have trust issues to this VERY day.

Sorry that this post is pretty long, I am just trying to properly introduce myself. I can't cover everything about me in just this one post but I want to at least somewhat give you guys an idea of who I am. :) I normally have cute little smiley faces everywhere when I write/type but this whole post has been very emotionally taxing on me to be honest. <3 <3

Here are some fun acts about me: I love/enjoy drawing, writing, painting, reading, blogging, sewing, skydiving, traveling to faraway places, Europe football, rockclimbing, making music/videos, and ETC.....pretty much everything and anything even close to being artistic/poetic.

I love indie bands like Taken By Trees. My style is pretty much indie, I love wearing weird/odd clothes-I am not a huge fan of mainstream stuff now days. I dont really like labels very much but they are nice to use to explain stuff online.

Feel <3 free to ask me any questions, I am trying to be open about myself for once. There are prob' other things that I should add to this post but I am about to fall asleep I THINK. I hope to make at least 1 friend on here..I really do need a good person in my life. I hope theres no major typos' in here, my apologies if there are. Sorry if I am rambling, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO' nervous..I don't want to be rejected or hurt somehow. :/

OhieZz, one last thing for now.. My favorite color is green :) :)

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Daughter,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. :) Thank you for sharing your story with us. There's no need to be shy here. You're among friends who totally get where you're coming from because they've been there too. Feel free to post questions that you may have. We'll do our best to provide answers.

MaryEllen

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's Daughter. Thank you for your introduction. I know how hard it can be to be honest with others but i've also found it gets easier with time and also with people who share many of there same experiences and feelings. i'm sure you will find others here you can relate to and will certainly see that you are not alone in your feelings.

Hope to see you about.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
My favorite color is green :) :)

Welcome Daughter to Laura's forums.

Many folks about that get it. Post away as the mood strikes ya, ask a question of the membership, or answer someone else's post.

I love green too, and I live in a real green place...

Hugs

Cyndi -

Link to comment
Guest ashleynikole

Welcome to Laura's Daughter.

There is someone here for everything you've gone through so you are among allies. No bullying here, you can be yourself.

I too know what it's like to be bullied for being me. I was bullied as a young kid and I learn things VERY quickly so I learned to emulate other guys so people would stop bullying me. It worked. It worked so well that I lost myself for almost 30 years. You don't have to do that. We are here to support you when you need it. Don't hesitate to ask.

Also, when you get a chance, check out the terms and conditions (link in lower right) so we can make sure that everyone is safe here and has a lot of fun.

God bless

Ashley

Link to comment
Guest Wanda Michelle

Welcome to Laura's! This is a wonderful place with amazing people. I'm sure you'll feel at home and make many new friends.

Hugs, :)

Wanda

Link to comment
Guest miss kindheart

Hi Green girl,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)
We all look forward to seeing you.
:wub: vanna

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, hon. I hope you find here what you need.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Daughter

Thanks yous very muchs :D for all of the lovely friendly welcomes!!!!! <3 <3 I feel all warm & fuzzy inside, haha. :) :) I have been busy today, hopefully I will be able to post here more in the future.. :D:)

Link to comment
Guest Daughter

Hi Daughter! I like green as well. I love the springtime here when things here start to grow and bloom!

Welcome to LP!

Jamie

:D I love the springtime!! :D

Link to comment

Hi Daughter,

I don't know if the forums here are slower paced than in 2009 since I only discovered Laura's Playground this year when I started coming out officially. You can count me as a friend as well, although in truth I am probably older than your mother. :) I also like green, one of my girlfriends has really nice green eyes that are strikingly beautiful. I love the green of spring, it reminds me of my travels in Ireland, and visiting my friends there. No reason to be shy here, you are amongst understanding friends.

Stephanie

Link to comment

Hello Daughter,

There are probably several reasons that things are slower here then in 2009.

I think one of the big reasons is that the attitude of the public has started to change about trans people and there is a lot more open information and understanding then there was before. That is a great thing.

Another reason is that Laura's has matured over the years. While we still have controversial topics we try to always keep comments respectful to everyone involved so that they do not turn into a flame war.

In the end how slow or fast the forums are is dependant on the members posting questions, information, and support. We are all part of making Laura's what it is today.

Mia

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 102 Guests (See full list)

    • JessicaMW
    • Betty K
    • Susie
    • kristinabee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,057
    • Most Online
      8,356

    kristinabee
    Newest Member
    kristinabee
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ladypcnj
      Thanks Sally Stone
    • KymmieL
      Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand.   I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend.   Kymmie
    • JessicaMW
      During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped:  The Kings | A transgender love story (2017)
    • Betty K
      Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the   To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are:   1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition;   2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic);   3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny.    I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested.   All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research.   One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/)   To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm.   Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/    
    • Sally Stone
      Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A.  It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.   
    • Sally Stone
      @Ladypcnj  This is so true.  I think all of us here have had a post or two that didn't get a response.  Sometimes, it's as simple as adding to your original to post for a clearer explanation, or re-reading what you wrote originally, and rephrasing it.  But don't despair, we aren't ignoring you.   Hugs,   Sally 
    • Willow
      So, we left for lunch in our Taos, talked and went to the dealer and came home with the Cadillac.  
    • Betty K
      I have just finished reading the Cass Review, all 380-odd pages of it, and am totally open to questions including via DM if anyone wants more information on it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      What season are you?  If you don't know, look around on the internet. Or ask a girl friend..  Maybe someone here is even a color consultant?   And there are guides on figure-flattering clothes for all shapes that you should look into.    Abby
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Just know that your kids will probably turn out OK, in spite of the chaos.  One of my partners was widowed in her very early 30s, left with 3 kids.  They're teens now, and one graduated a year ago and is working, but still living at home.  A few bumps in the road, but the three are turning into responsible young adults.  It is amazing how resilient kids can be.  They should be able to handle your changes as well.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Had my time with my 2 long friends I was in the Army with.We went through the photo books and talked memories.They also found about the guy that bullied and sexually assaulted me.He is in prison,sexually assaulted and raped 2 women off base.Doing a 40 year sentence for this and was dishonorable discharged
    • Cindy Lee
      I've been transitioning now for eight months but have been wearing women's clothing for 2+ years. I am over weight and approaching my 72nd birthday. I have purchase my solid color clothing online and recently graduated to 'V' neck tops. I have been hesitant to get anything more girly due to family issues, though with my hair style I am able to totally pass when dressed in a skirt and blouse.   About two  months ago I finally went and got my nails done (which I truly which I had done long ago) though not red nor pink (again family issues). To date I don't think I am having problems with being trans unlike others seem to have. The biggest problem I am having is with my clothing. Any suggestions my girl friends might have would be greatly appreciated.   Cindy
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Umm.... if a post is ignored, live with it?   My stuff gets ignored sometimes, and its OK.  My life is different, and may seem kind of wacky to others.  Some folks just can't relate, or if I'm needing advice they just don't have it.  Diversity is like that sometimes.  If your post gets missed, don't take it personally.  Also, stuff that is new on weekends seems to get ignored more, since most folks are busy with family or other stuff during that time.  Overall, I think people here are pretty helpful. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'd really love a professional stove.  There's actually one I want at Lowes, but its like $6k.  I've got plenty of money, the issue is that I'm not the queen (king?) of my den.  Or even of the kitchen.  My partner (husband's wife #1) owns that territory, and she's very attached to what she's got.  One of our stoves has 6 burners and a large oven, the other has 4 burners and a regular household sized oven.  And of course, there's always the wood-burning equipment.    Today was interesting.  We had the first campaign fundraiser for our sheriff and my sister.  My sister is running to be constable of our township.  Pretty sure she'll win, as her opponent is an old dude who is mostly running on "Don't elect a woman for a man's job"    What's weird is our sheriff is running as a Democrat, but he's conservative.  And his Republican opponent sounds like a leftist.  Welcome to Upside-down-ville   And of course all the kids got the chance to sit in a sheriff's car, and play with the lights.   We had a barbecue lunch and a dessert auction.  I baked three apple pies for it, and I was shocked that they sold for $20 each, since my cooking isn't that great.  My partner made her famous "Chocotorta."  It's like a chocolate layer cake with cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and it tastes amazing.  Usually we have it for Christmas and other really special occasions.  Two guys got into a bid war, and it sold for $175!!!    Yep, this is politics in the South.  Barbecue, pies, and police cars.  A great way to spend a Saturday
    • Davie
      Yes. That report is part of a conspiracy to torture and murder trans people. It is a lie. It is evil.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...