Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

<3 <3 <3 Merry Friendly Hellos From A Very Insecure & SHY Girl <3 <3 <3


Guest Daughter

Recommended Posts

Guest Daughter

Hilo everyone, I don't know what to say to be fully honest with you all.. I have been on support forums like these in the past but have never ever really stuck around to be really engaged with an community. I am deathly shy to a point that I even have MAJOR social anxiety, I am even shaking just typing this. My old therapist suggested to me that I joined a forum like this and to try to be open and social and see where that leads me. :( I miss my therapist, she was so' helpful!! I had to stop seeing her because I just recently graduated high school, she worked at the online school that I went to..now I have nobody to talk to anything LGBT related with, I hope this forum changes that though!! I feel alone, really-really alone even though I am surrounded by people..not really anyone in my family understands me AT ALL..I am out to my whole family but they don't accept the true/real me, I am not allowed to get any support with being LGBT or even talk to really anyone about it as long as I live under their roof they have told me a lot of times..my mama said I could freely talk to her about being trans' but that was basically a huge lie, she gets REALLY upset even if I bring up the subject!! I am 19 nearly 20, I plan on moving out of my parent's house someday in the near future like maybe in about a year or two..I am not going to rush out of here even though its tough for me, I got to get a steady income & learn how to drive & some other important life things before I make a move to get away from my family..nobody in my current home ever physically abuses me so' I think I can take a little while more here!! I have no friends, I lost my only friend about a week ago due to him thinking that he can get "much cooler" friends than "odd little me". My last therapist (((the one I was talking about earlier in this post...))) was 110% convinced I was transgender (MtF), I told her my whole story and she was REALLY supportive about who I was..she was not the first person that I talked to about this with but she has had one of the biggest positive impacts on me because she really did make me feel NORMAL-SO'-'SO-Normal! I am so sorry about how random & boring this post has been, I am controlling my emotions about all of this. My parents & homophobic little brother are in denial of the fact that I am trans', they have always just told me that I am just an "hormonal confused teenager that is going through a weird phrase"..well, this does not feel like some "phrase" to me in any way, I have felt this way ever since I could remember..I did not know the name for it ofcourse but the feelings & emotions has always been there. I believe with my whole heart that I am an GIRL. I first REALLY noticed that I was "different" around the age of just 3 years old, I was not the average "boy"-the "other" boys my age wanted to play rough in the mud and stuff while I wanted to just sit and mess around with dolls. I have been in dressing in girl clothing in secret since around the age of 4-5, my mom still does not know that I have been secretly wearing her clothes for over 10 years even though I am OUT to all of my family!! I never ever got along with boys but always with girls growing up, pretty much all of my friends were girls. I loved playing dress up all of the time when I was younger. I also even thought that I would just magically turn into a girl when I was younger-I did not know anything really much about anything LGBT growing up so I just assumed when I was younger that I would just magically be in a body that I felt comfy' in somehow. I have always dreamt of being in a female body too, I have had vivid dreams of being a princess in a little cute blue silk dress. I have always hated my penis, I cant even look at it!! There were other clear signs of me being a trans' female when I was younger but I cant think of them right now because I am with tired.

My family are JEHOVAH WITNESSES, I grew up in a extremely really tight hardcore religious conservative household that was really anti-liberal. My parents think my whole being is an huge sin, it scares them.

Its really tough living with them, I used to run away from home a lot when I was younger because they drove me mad. Being bullied to almost death in school did not help anything too. I don't self harm or suffer majorly with any eating disorders anymore but I do sometimes get depressed and super anxious still.

Kids growing up always assumed that I was a "super gay boy" so' most of them were not-so-nice to me. I have trust issues to this VERY day.

Sorry that this post is pretty long, I am just trying to properly introduce myself. I can't cover everything about me in just this one post but I want to at least somewhat give you guys an idea of who I am. :) I normally have cute little smiley faces everywhere when I write/type but this whole post has been very emotionally taxing on me to be honest. <3 <3

Here are some fun acts about me: I love/enjoy drawing, writing, painting, reading, blogging, sewing, skydiving, traveling to faraway places, Europe football, rockclimbing, making music/videos, and ETC.....pretty much everything and anything even close to being artistic/poetic.

I love indie bands like Taken By Trees. My style is pretty much indie, I love wearing weird/odd clothes-I am not a huge fan of mainstream stuff now days. I dont really like labels very much but they are nice to use to explain stuff online.

Feel <3 free to ask me any questions, I am trying to be open about myself for once. There are prob' other things that I should add to this post but I am about to fall asleep I THINK. I hope to make at least 1 friend on here..I really do need a good person in my life. I hope theres no major typos' in here, my apologies if there are. Sorry if I am rambling, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO' nervous..I don't want to be rejected or hurt somehow. :/

OhieZz, one last thing for now.. My favorite color is green :) :)

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Daughter,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. :) Thank you for sharing your story with us. There's no need to be shy here. You're among friends who totally get where you're coming from because they've been there too. Feel free to post questions that you may have. We'll do our best to provide answers.

MaryEllen

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's Daughter. Thank you for your introduction. I know how hard it can be to be honest with others but i've also found it gets easier with time and also with people who share many of there same experiences and feelings. i'm sure you will find others here you can relate to and will certainly see that you are not alone in your feelings.

Hope to see you about.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
My favorite color is green :) :)

Welcome Daughter to Laura's forums.

Many folks about that get it. Post away as the mood strikes ya, ask a question of the membership, or answer someone else's post.

I love green too, and I live in a real green place...

Hugs

Cyndi -

Link to comment
Guest ashleynikole

Welcome to Laura's Daughter.

There is someone here for everything you've gone through so you are among allies. No bullying here, you can be yourself.

I too know what it's like to be bullied for being me. I was bullied as a young kid and I learn things VERY quickly so I learned to emulate other guys so people would stop bullying me. It worked. It worked so well that I lost myself for almost 30 years. You don't have to do that. We are here to support you when you need it. Don't hesitate to ask.

Also, when you get a chance, check out the terms and conditions (link in lower right) so we can make sure that everyone is safe here and has a lot of fun.

God bless

Ashley

Link to comment
Guest Wanda Michelle

Welcome to Laura's! This is a wonderful place with amazing people. I'm sure you'll feel at home and make many new friends.

Hugs, :)

Wanda

Link to comment
Guest miss kindheart

Hi Green girl,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)
We all look forward to seeing you.
:wub: vanna

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, hon. I hope you find here what you need.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Daughter

Thanks yous very muchs :D for all of the lovely friendly welcomes!!!!! <3 <3 I feel all warm & fuzzy inside, haha. :) :) I have been busy today, hopefully I will be able to post here more in the future.. :D:)

Link to comment
Guest Daughter

Hi Daughter! I like green as well. I love the springtime here when things here start to grow and bloom!

Welcome to LP!

Jamie

:D I love the springtime!! :D

Link to comment

Hi Daughter,

I don't know if the forums here are slower paced than in 2009 since I only discovered Laura's Playground this year when I started coming out officially. You can count me as a friend as well, although in truth I am probably older than your mother. :) I also like green, one of my girlfriends has really nice green eyes that are strikingly beautiful. I love the green of spring, it reminds me of my travels in Ireland, and visiting my friends there. No reason to be shy here, you are amongst understanding friends.

Stephanie

Link to comment

Hello Daughter,

There are probably several reasons that things are slower here then in 2009.

I think one of the big reasons is that the attitude of the public has started to change about trans people and there is a lot more open information and understanding then there was before. That is a great thing.

Another reason is that Laura's has matured over the years. While we still have controversial topics we try to always keep comments respectful to everyone involved so that they do not turn into a flame war.

In the end how slow or fast the forums are is dependant on the members posting questions, information, and support. We are all part of making Laura's what it is today.

Mia

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 1 Anonymous, 124 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,126
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alisa Anne
    Newest Member
    Alisa Anne
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. cigsandsaints
      cigsandsaints
      (30 years old)
    2. cygnusKP
      cygnusKP
      (47 years old)
    3. Georgina
      Georgina
      (46 years old)
    4. MaK30
      MaK30
      (31 years old)
    5. Mandymike
      Mandymike
      (54 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums @Madelyn Rain   I'm very late in life and in a slow transition. I'm out to my wife, grown children and my siblings, their support ranges from reluctant to total denial of my existence. Several are totally onboard with my transition. As for my medical and therapeutic care team... I'm out and started my conversation as they have known me from the start. Manly, just starting the transition. As I've proceeded along the transition trail, my mannerisms and speech have taken on a lighter tone. I have not started any real voice feminizing yet.    My recommendation is to just go in honestly and be your comfortable self.   Best wishes,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Vidanjali
    • MaeBe
      It’s a “wedge issue”, used as a way of forcing other things quietly while making a big deal out of something that impassions others. Trans issues “stuck” when the Right threw all sorts of social strategies at the wall, it clicked with the base and now we’re here. Who doesn’t want to “protect the children”, right?   As far as fascism goes, we’re on our way with either party but it’s not a hard guess which party gets us all the way there the fastest. Frankly, I see the Left dogged by politics of conscience. The war in Israel, the status quo of Wall Street, the perpetual increase in the wealth divide, and what little is being done on the environmental front are all indicators of capitalism guiding policy and the voter base of the Left is not impressed.   The Right is dogged by (or been sold into) a persecution complex, religious or otherwise, and it has made them afraid and angry. But! A lot of the issues that cause that fear are very similar, if not the same, on the Left (see wealth divide, see Wall Street, etc.). Weaponized religion is a big difference between the voting blocks and it’s being used to create insidious identity politics. Politics like that are why the party of “freedom” wants to control who people are. Why? Because God said so.    As for the OP, everyone knows the far right agenda isn’t a grass roots cause. It’s not surprising that there is big money and croneyism at work. In fact, I’ll bet the average MAGA voter would cheer it on. Grab ‘em by the pus-pocketbook! They’re the little guys in this and they need those “few” people to do god’s work with their “hard-earned” wealth. 
    • Madelyn Rain
      Hiya, I’m about to be going to my appointment to set up hrt. I have spoken with my dr about it briefly in the past, but stopped being part time and went into deep masking essentially… Now that I have decided to actually start transitioning medically I feel pressure to be a certain way which I know I shouldn’t. I searched to see if someone else had asked this question but didn’t see it posted, so sorry if it’s been asked.    Did you dress femme and or use a femme voice for your appointment to discuss starting hrt? I still feel so manly in the way I look, so I just feel so… awkward about it all. Like to mask or not to or idk uggh so unsure how to feel about it as I’m totes not ashamed of who I am but insecure about looking manly. I have a femme “baby face” but am not too tall but broad and more on the muscular side. Not saying these things take away from being a woman, just they are my insecurities.   thank you,   Madelyn Rain
    • Ivy
      This stuff gets complicated.  Capitalism replaced Feudalism…  You get enclosures, Highland clearances, the communal village culture disrupted.  Was it good?  Or was it bad?  Kinda depends on your point of view.   But I guess this is another topic.
    • Ivy
      Seems like it.  But I think a lot of current "conservative" thinking is the idea of going back to earlier social mores and enforcing such. "Conservatives" seem fine with coercing others to conform to their ideals.
    • Ivy
      I see the corporations controlling the government, largely through campaign contributions.   As for leftist, almost any cooperation has a socialistic component.  It doesn't need to be controlled by the government.  I see some elements of your own situation as socialist in a sense.  I suspect we have a different understanding of these things. Some people see "anarchism" as simply local control.  Radical left?  IDK.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      The truth is that there's no unbiased media. Even if someone tries real hard to show both sides of the issue and remain unbiased in their presentation, their own opinions are bound to influence the piece in some way. That's simply writing, really, but it's a real pain when it comes to news of current events. It seems everyone takes one extreme or the other, and a lot of people don't even seem to be trying to hide their bias in the news nowadays. That's a problem regardless of political party.   Going completely in any one direction is a bad idea, really. The point of a two-party (or more, really) system is that multiple types of people are represented and have someone speaking up in a way they agree with. Both sides have both faults and virtues, and that's why there's both conservatives and liberals, as well as people who might be fluid between the two sides depending on the issue.     Eh, I have to politely disagree. Fascism would also mean a lot of control over things like media, and we have plenty of media outlets who will openly criticize the government based on who's in power. There's also other freedoms in our current system that would go against a Fascist philosophy. Plus, there's plenty of corporations that actively try to avoid government interventions like regulations via methods like labor outsourcing.    Also, kinda unrelated, but I've never gotten the idea of conservative support of anti-trans policy? I mean, that's more government control over healthcare, which seems kinda anti-conservative in philosophy. Anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but to my understanding of conservative philosophy, wouldn't the more truly conservative view be to leave it to offices themselves similar to how you would leave businesses to regulate what and how they provide a good/service?
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My husband calls her the "Snow Fox."  Pretty sure penguin is what's for dinner...
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      And I suppose that NPR and CNN are "fair and balanced...."  I guess its all a matter of perspective, but here we literally listen to NPR as a comedy station.  As in, WHAT PLANET do these folks live on????  So much of what is presented seems totally nuts.    There's no shortage of big money funding the Left.  George Soros, Bill Gates, the Walton family....  If they support the "climate" agenda in any way - leftist.  If they support "gun control" in any way - leftist.  If they support UNESCO, anything else from the UN, electric vehicles, vaccination, funding public universities, etc....  you get the picture.  There's a heck of a lot of leftism going on if you just listen for the buzzwords on radio and tv.  And it seems like a large portion of big corporations are using those words.   What was the original idea of Fascism?  Corporations working hand-in-hand with a government that controls basically everything.  Doesn't seem too different from what is going on today, except that we have two parties involved. 
    • Ivy
    • Ivy
      The only reason I tried Tetris, was some of my younger kids had a gameboy I had younger coworkers playing packman when we took breaks at convenience stores.  I never could get into it.  I do remember the old pinball machines in the gas stations though    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Everybody used to live that way, but not everybody is adapted to every climate.  I would be fine living like that, really.  My GF... well she'd be alive but I'm not sure about everybody around her.   If the house isn't super cold, she becomes difficult to deal with.  And the hotter it is outside, the colder she wants it inside.  Even the light bothers her, so she prefers areas without windows.  She'll work outdoors on projects, but when she's done sometimes she's bleeding from the corners of her eyes.  Her normal body temperature is also really cold.  For her, 95.7 to 96.2 is normal, and sometimes in the winter she can be as low as 92 while still appearing normal.  Arctic creature, I guess... Me, I'm fine with lower temperatures as long as I'm active.  But when I sleep, I get cold easily. 
    • Ivy
    • Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...