I finally found a sponsor

[Guest erinanita]

I been back in the program for almost a year and I just got a sponsor last week. It's been quite a few years since I've had one. Now I need to remember to talk to her, not just when I have a problem but whenever possible. Opening up is always hard for me.

Erin

[Michelle 2010]

Great to hear Erin. I was just talking to my sponsor about frequency of contact when sponsees have completed the steps and are without drama in their lives. Only one of my sponsees is not to step ten and I feel the relationship weekening with several. My sponsor says she likes once a week by phone with a couple text messages a week from people who are doing well and up to the Maintenece steps.

My first sponsor said he was instructed in the beginning to call every day even if all was well. That way when the proverbial crapola hit the fan, he would be sure to pick up the phone... It was called the three minute fire drill :-)

Best wishes

Michelle

[Charlize]

Thanks for sharing Erin, Calling your sponsor is such a good thing for both of you. I'm not the best at calling myself having said that but have a close relationship with my sponsor. I chose him before transitioning and at one point called and asked if i could stop by while en femme. He said yes and we had a cup of tea and talked with his wife and family in the house as well. Having someone who you can trust to accept you is the best! I had my first sponsor's number memorized before the time i carried a cell phone. The important thing is that we call when we have a problem or a desire to drink not after we have had a night of confirming our powerlessness. I hope to never call my sponsor with a hangover but if i did i know he would be there for me as well.

[Guest erinanita]

My first sponsor in the program insisted on daily contact, whether initiated by him or me. I thought he was crazy but I complied. In those days, as today, I was really emotional. Most days our chat would eventually leave me in tears. It took several months before I felt like I had some control over my emotions. I've had discussions with some at my home group as well as with my sponsor about keeping in contact with sponsees. I believe that if I were currently sponsoring someone I should take the initiative to call if I haven't heard from a sponsee in some time. When I become a part of someone's life I'm interested enough to know whether she is continuing with the program. I have used the same attitude with twelfth step clients as well as temporary contacts. I always stop contact when asked.

I was in contact with my new sponsor last evening at a meeting and I knew that I really should have been in closer contact with her. This past week has been rough for both of us. She is going through a separation and I had a automobile accident last week that left me in bad shape emotionally and physically. I'm fine now, I think. Running into her at the meeting was good for both of us.

Thanks for your comments.

Erin

[Guest erinanita]

I have been meeting at least once a week with my sponsor. I met her at an LGBT meeting called Rainbows to Serenity. Even so, I really wasn't sure how she would react when I told her I was assigned male at birth but it didn't even fizz on her. She had asked when I first met her how she could be of help to me when she had much less sobriety than me. I don't think it matters much. She's a person I can talk to and at this point that's all that matters. In two weeks I'll celebrate 29 years of sobriety and she will present me with my card.

My wife is planning to be there and I am so happy about that. I am looking forward to this day. I've been doing service work for the last couple of months as our group's treatment facilities representative. I've also been attending an average of five meetings a week for the last month. I don't think I've ever been so happy in AA.

Erin