coming out to mom?

[Guest shinyd9]

I don't know what to do. I'm mtf. I need to tell somebody how i feel but i know all of my friends would laugh, reject or just make fun of me and not be very accepting. My dad would freak. The only person I think I would maybe receive support from is my mom and maybe my grandma. They both understand my depression and I think that it would make more sense to them. What is the best way to tell them? I am really scared to lode them.

[Cyndee]

Are you seeing a therapist ? It was recommended to you in earlier posts.

http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=60671&hl=

If you depend on your Mom for a roof over your head and / or food, I would really advise being careful about speaking openly about these topics.

What if you told her, and she told others ? Not that she would, but once this information leaves your lips, you've lost control and it can end up in places you never anticipated. For example because she cares about you so much, and so proud of you and your involvment with the church(there is parental pride to consider), what if she went to the bishop of the local ward, and he was sought to try and "heal you" of this "affliction" ? The LDS culture is full of stories like this.

Once the genie is out of the bottle, it can't be put back. Coming out is basically a one way trip, there is no taking it back.

Please be sure of yourself before telling close family members how you feel, especially if you depend on them.

Cyndi -

[Charlize]

I also mentioned this in February but will repeat the fact that a therapist who deals in gender issues will be able to help you in many ways. Perhaps you could mention to your parents that you want to see a therapist to discuss the reasons and perhaps a solution to your depression. If the gender part comes up, which it may, at least they know your doing your best to deal with the issue responsibly. It is likely that your parents will find this difficult so please find a therapist to help them understand. The other alternative is to work towards independence before confronting your gender issues. In some ways that is what i did. I transitioned quite late in life for various reasons. I did so with the help of a therapist. Even though my parents were dead i still had a wife and children who would "freak". Therapy helped as did the fact that as an older person i knew i could survive and while i desperately wanted their love and acceptance i knew life could continue without it.

Please look to a therapist.

Hugs,

Charlize