Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Finally enough courage


Guest TuckerDIT

Recommended Posts

Guest TuckerDIT

It's been awhile since I have been on, but I thought I would pop in. I think I have decided I have finally built up enough courage to go out dressed for the first time. I have a GG friend that said she would go accompany me, I just have to decide what to do! My thought was to go to an unpopular movie on a weekday night and then go home. I'm thinking that because it's a dark place where people go to just sit and watch the movie, then I can get back in the car. Anyone have any input or other thoughts as to where I should go? Thanks everyone!

Link to comment
  • Admin

That would not be a bad idea, but go to a movie you would actually like to see. You will do better if you are actually watching the screen and enjoying life, and NOT THINKING about what you are afraid people will see even in the dark. Your going out dressed should make you more comfortable about being in public, not apprehensive or feeling weird. After the first look in the mirror at you completed transformation, the idea is to ignore what you are wearing and just act like you always looked that way. As full time, I don't even remember what I put on, and it feels everyday to me.

It will depend on where you live, but even Texas has some theaters that show Trans* related films. For that matter, check with the nearest TGLB community centers and see if they are sponsoring a film festival or a music event in your area. That would be a fun and safe place to come out for your first "outing" on the town. My other suggestion is simply go to a local mall, the bigger the better, and walk around it during a middle busy time. Go ahead and get a drink (non alcoholic) and a slice of pizza, and just watch people carefully.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Going out with a Cis girlfriend is wonderful. I was lucky and able to do that. One of the first things we did was to see a matinee. As Vicky mentioned i was so busy thinking about how i looked that i can't remember what the movie was about. Going out to lunch, or to a mall for some shopping is also fun. Remember you are the one with the purse. Waiters want a tip and salespeople want a sale whether they read you or not. Most of all do your best to relax. Remember to breath.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Admin

I agree with Vicky, and I applaud you for having the courage to live your dream and do what you want to do. Have a wonderful time, and don't worry about what anyone else is thinking. What's in their heads, if anything, is not your concern.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Clair Dufour

Texas is a big place. In all the big cities and the cool places like Austin, there are many safe areas to go. Yes, there are small towns where LGBT is somewhat underground but, still there if you look. Do your homework and go checkout places in male mode to see if you fit. If you do then go dressed. I spent several weeks in Dallas in the 80's and had a blast dressing. Like I said its a big state and your not alone And even if your on the ranch, your not alone. http://www.igra.com/events/world-gay-rodeo-finals-2014/

Link to comment
Guest ashleynikole

Here's also something you can do (especially if you want to test our words that most of the problems you'll encounter are in your head).

Write down everything you think might happen while you are out. Anything you can think of. Good or bad. Doesn't matter.

Then go out and have a good time.

When you get back, cross off everything on your list that DID NOT happen. See the results of your most wonderful time and learn from the experience that we all are scared for that first time, but really, you may be pleasantly surprised that most people are simply living their life as well and pay little to no attention to us.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

God bless

Ashley

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest TuckerDIT

Well, I did it! My first time out dressed up! I just went out with a GG friend and we just walked around a mall a couple towns over. We only got to walk for about 20 minutes since the mall closed pretty early, but it was still enough to get my feet wet! I did notice some people give me a double take or stare, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I just need to get a walk down and my hair a little better before I go out again haha!! Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!! :)

Link to comment
  • Admin

Congrats, hon! I'm proud of you, and happy that it turned out well. The next time will be better, you'll be better prepared and more confident.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Alaster to Alice

Well, I did it! My first time out dressed up! I just went out with a GG friend and we just walked a. und a mall a couple towns over. We only got to walk for about 20 minutes since the mall closed pretty early, but it was still enough to get my feet wet! I did notice some people give me a double take or stare, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I just need to get a walk down and my hair a little better before I go out again haha!! Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!! :)

You go girl!! The simple act of doing something is a powerful motivator to other people like me. I still get super nervous while shopping for female clothes :). I am so proud of you and keep up that awesome self esteem and positive attitude.

Hugs,

~Alice

Link to comment
Guest AshleighP

Congratulations! The first time is always a real eye opener. All the advice given here was great. I totally agree that most of the fear we feel is unfounded (though still real). I firmly believe that most of the world is so involved with themselves, they rarely notice what's going on around them.

Ashley, I love the suggestion of writing down what you think will happen and then checking off the things that actually do happen. When you make that list make sure the top item is "have fun", because that's definitely going to happen.

Learning from the experience will be the key to making the next time even more fun. Confidence in who you are will make all the difference.

Link to comment
Guest ashleynikole

Congratulations!!!!

You go get 'em girl!

Just reading your words made me realize how nerve-racking that first time is and how it is SOOO much easier where I'm at. You're just starting a journey to living authentically without fear of others, but you took the first steps and THAT is awesome. Eventually you'll be whizzing around the women's section at your local clothing store, grabbing things to try on and hitting the dressing room like you own the place. I spent all day in full female form (pretty much all I'm doing at this point) and that included dropping kids at school and daycare, hitting a local coffee shop, going to therapy, shopping for new fall/winter clothes, going to my bank (INSIDE the bank), getting a massage, picking up the kids, going to the grocery store and then home (now I know why women are dying to take the bra off first when they get home...lol).

You are going to have SOOO much fun on this journey we call life now that you are beginning to live authentically in your expression. May you be blessed in all that you do, bringing courage and peace to those around you.

God bless

Ashley

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

Great job! That mustve felt great!-Im nowhere near that yet,but I hope to get there eventually.

You are inspirational!

Krystal

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

great job i have no courage to go to a place like the mall! that being said, last night was the 1st time i went out dressed in 15yrs and the 1st time ever in daylight! it was to a TG support group so it was a safe first journey and a good experience. scary parts were leaving and arriving home where the neighbors might not be so accepting in our small development.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 164 Guests (See full list)

    • Jamey-Heather
    • Ashley0616
    • Lorelei
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Stefi
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,028
    • Most Online
      8,356

    earthpatch
    Newest Member
    earthpatch
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Anyatimenow
      Anyatimenow
      (23 years old)
    2. Aria00
      Aria00
    3. Ava B.
      Ava B.
      (24 years old)
    4. Claire Heshi
      Claire Heshi
    5. CrystalMatthews0426
      CrystalMatthews0426
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Mom, I’m home!  What’s for lunch?   Leftover pizza .   ok.    Not exactly our conversation but there is truth in the answer.     @KymmieLsorry you are sick. Feel better soon.   Girl mode, boy mode no mode, not us. Nothing functional for either of us.   anyone here have or had a 10 year old (plus or minus) Caddy, Lincoln or Chrysler?  How was it?  Lots of repairs?  Comfortable seats? Anything positive or negative about it?  I need to replace my 2004 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer, it’s eating $100 dollar bills and needs a couple of thousand dollars worth of work and that doesn’t even fix the check engine code.  Obviously, it isn’t worth putting that kind of money into a 20 year old car with a 174 thousand miles.   Willow
    • Ashley0616
      Oversized pink shirt, pink and black sports bra
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I think you mean the worst possible interpretation of 2025 situation.  Keep in mind that there are those who will distort and downright lie about anything coming from conservatives - I have seen it time and time again.  It's one of the reasons I want to read the thing slowly and carefully.  They want you to be very, very afraid. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Here is where the expectation is that the stereotypical evangelical comes in finger wagging, disapproving and condemning.    Not gonna do that.   You have to work these things out.  Transgender issues put a whole different spin on everything and God understands what we are going through. I have enough trouble over here.  :)
    • Ivy
      You do you. You seem to be in a safe place if we end up with a 2025 situation.  But a lot of us are not.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, my marriage is different.  I'm actually part of a multi-partner marriage.  Like you see in the Book of Genesis.  My husband has four wives...and me.  I was kind of an accident, as our community sets the "reasonable maximum" at four wives, but that's a long story.  Plural marriage is approved in my faith community, with the exception of spiritual leaders, as described in 1 Timothy 3.  We believe that anything that isn't specifically prohibited is permitted.    The purpose of marriage is for people to work together, demonstrate the love of God, and to have children.  My faith believes in exponential reproduction - big families with lots of kids, both as a blessing and with the intention of using the size of our population for political ends.  Being intersex/trans and unable to bear children, I wouldn't have been a good candidate to be somebody's only spouse (the majority of our community tends toward traditional couple marriage).  Since my husband has other partners, I don't have to worry about the childbearing aspect, and I help out with raising our family's kids.  I'm a "bonus parent."    I'm not 100% open about my intersex/trans nature, although my community's leaders are aware of me.  Being transgender isn't condemned, but it is seen as a health problem derived from an imperfect, fallen world and an environment polluted with chemicals.  Since I'm married, I have a safe place to be, and I can live how I need to live.    I firmly believe the advice given in 1 Corinthians 7.  We don't totally own our bodies.  God gets a say, as I believe He created us to be male or female, not something outside the binary.  I don't think that transition without discussion with partners is OK....again, we don't totally own ourselves.  When I started to figure myself out, that was actually the main thing on my mind - will my partners accept me?  How will my position in the family change?  Since my partners don't really have a problem with the mild version of transition that I wanted to do, it has all been good. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Indeed.  While it seems like the majority of LGBTQ+ folks vote for Democrat candidates, not everybody drinks the Kool-Aid.  I'm a registered Independent, since I vote for individuals rather than party.  One of my trans friends is very pro-Trump - wears her MAGA hat and everything.  I find it interesting to see the reactions she gets... folks aren't always as tolerant as they claim to be.  Even on this forum, you get some real flak from Democrat voters....many will insist that the California way is the only way.    In my opinion, "Project 2025" isn't the real problem.  Check out UN "Agenda 2030."   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      While Biden may be more friendly to trans folks, I'm not a single-issue voter.  I just can't choose a Democrat candidate, as I believe their actions will destroy my community and way of life.  Biden just announced that he wants to significantly increase capital gains taxes.  Maybe he intends to "tax the rich" but that is going to affect everything from land sales to grocery prices to the cost of electricity and even folks' retirement savings, as most companies make a large amount of their profits through investing in the market.  It is absolute lunacy to think that increased cost or reduced profits won't be passed on to the rest of us.  Things are going to get way worse at this rate.    Mostly, I vote in elections for state and local issues, as the national government is about as pleasant as a Porta-Potty in July.  So, either I'll do a write-in vote for president, or I'll check the box for Trump.  Anything but Biden.     
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Interesting...never knew any of this.  Of course, in my girl form I never got breasts, so I never had to worry about it.  A couple of pieces of tape would have been sufficient...      Sounds like fun   It has been interesting for me since I stopped trying to do sex like a girl.  The real surprise was my relationship with my husband, as he has figured me out pretty well. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Women's jeans, soft t-shirt that could go either way, flip-flops. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      They were sitting on the love seat, looking west out over Kansas.  Below them the busy city ran to and fro.   "They called.  My surgery has been rescheduled for May 8.  I need to be there at 5 AM for pre-op.  I start prescriptions and diet change on May 1."   "Okay."  Bob did his not-thinking-about anything look.  Taylor was always amazed that he could  actually be thinking about absolutely nothing. She was always thinking of at least six things.   "How can they be like that?" "What?"  He startled a little.  Contact with reality was reestablished. "Where does the hate come from?  Mrs. McArthur?  She was always polite, but I think she wasn't really.  Somehow she hated me even though there were no indications whatsoever." "Yeah, well, you know they are starting up that plant.  And my company is going ahead with their work there, down n Milliville.   I will have to go down there sometimes." "Oh, Bob." "Maybe I will stop by and ask her." "No." "No.  Cabaret is closed, I have been told.  Your transgender support group has scattered to other places." "What is wrong with those people?" "Same thing as Roosevelt, I guess.  You know all the racial comments against Blacks?  Like that game where our cheerleaders started this insulting cheer, an the opposite team was mostly Black? Teachers stopped it." "I didn't know.  I was staying away from that, remember?" "Yes." "You know all those kids at our church, the ones you called freaks the other day?" "I shouldn't have called them that." "Pastor tells me they are all from all over the Midwest.  These are kids who have been thrown out of their homes and were found on the street.  Other shelters would not take them, so they wound up here." "Not surprising." "I think we could do some good here." "What do you have in mind?" And she told him.
    • EasyE
      You are spot on here ... but also it seems like such a rigged game for the average person that it's hard to invest energy into the political arena -- too much big money controlling too many people/organizations/narratives for the common person to fee; heard...   In general, why we in America accept either candidate is baffling... for all our innovation as a nation, we can't do better than these two bozos?    The problem is, the political arena is such a sham -- again with large money controlling all aspects of the system -- that a common-sense, love-your-neighbor, make-reasonable-compromises, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-to-work candidate will never make it anywhere above the local level (if even there)...    Everything is a reality show, and boring ol' decision makers that try to benefit the most people don't generate enough clicks, views and retweets...  I am not sure it is so much about celebrity as it is about party politics at all costs - "my side must always be viewed as right and your side must always be viewed as wrong!" kind of thinking... there is no consensus building anymore because that will get used against you in campaign ads... When Obama took office and then Hilary ran again, it was like all Republicans want to do was to find someone loud enough to put them in their place. Forget issues, forget character, just win a debate and rally the base.    To get back to your original point, not enough of us care about politics ... and in some ways we've become fat, happy and entitled as a nation. The yearning to achieve the "American dream", which drove my parents and their parents before them to work their tails off and sacrifice and save, is now just "give me the American dream for free while I sit here on my phone and watch tiktok..."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You are in the right place.
    • EasyE
      I am about 5 weeks ahead of you ... best wishes to you! For me it has been subtle changes at most so far (if any) ... but I am also on the "beginner's" level of patch, lol ...    Easy
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Oh, another comment.   I am a conservative evangelical with strong Republican leanings. So is my wife, my friends, my family. I disagree with a good amount of what the Republicans are doing, but there it is.  I understand the mindset, I think, a lot better than those who are outside it do.   When you insult Republicans you insult me, my friends, my family.   People like me can struggle with trans issues.   Please consider that in posting.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...