Finally enough courage

[Guest TuckerDIT]

It's been awhile since I have been on, but I thought I would pop in. I think I have decided I have finally built up enough courage to go out dressed for the first time. I have a GG friend that said she would go accompany me, I just have to decide what to do! My thought was to go to an unpopular movie on a weekday night and then go home. I'm thinking that because it's a dark place where people go to just sit and watch the movie, then I can get back in the car. Anyone have any input or other thoughts as to where I should go? Thanks everyone!

[VickySGV]

That would not be a bad idea, but go to a movie you would actually like to see. You will do better if you are actually watching the screen and enjoying life, and NOT THINKING about what you are afraid people will see even in the dark. Your going out dressed should make you more comfortable about being in public, not apprehensive or feeling weird. After the first look in the mirror at you completed transformation, the idea is to ignore what you are wearing and just act like you always looked that way. As full time, I don't even remember what I put on, and it feels everyday to me.

It will depend on where you live, but even Texas has some theaters that show Trans* related films. For that matter, check with the nearest TGLB community centers and see if they are sponsoring a film festival or a music event in your area. That would be a fun and safe place to come out for your first "outing" on the town. My other suggestion is simply go to a local mall, the bigger the better, and walk around it during a middle busy time. Go ahead and get a drink (non alcoholic) and a slice of pizza, and just watch people carefully.

[Charlize]

Going out with a Cis girlfriend is wonderful. I was lucky and able to do that. One of the first things we did was to see a matinee. As Vicky mentioned i was so busy thinking about how i looked that i can't remember what the movie was about. Going out to lunch, or to a mall for some shopping is also fun. Remember you are the one with the purse. Waiters want a tip and salespeople want a sale whether they read you or not. Most of all do your best to relax. Remember to breath.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree with Vicky, and I applaud you for having the courage to live your dream and do what you want to do. Have a wonderful time, and don't worry about what anyone else is thinking. What's in their heads, if anything, is not your concern.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Texas is a big place. In all the big cities and the cool places like Austin, there are many safe areas to go. Yes, there are small towns where LGBT is somewhat underground but, still there if you look. Do your homework and go checkout places in male mode to see if you fit. If you do then go dressed. I spent several weeks in Dallas in the 80's and had a blast dressing. Like I said its a big state and your not alone And even if your on the ranch, your not alone. http://www.igra.com/events/world-gay-rodeo-finals-2014/

[Guest ashleynikole]

Here's also something you can do (especially if you want to test our words that most of the problems you'll encounter are in your head).

Write down everything you think might happen while you are out. Anything you can think of. Good or bad. Doesn't matter.

Then go out and have a good time.

When you get back, cross off everything on your list that DID NOT happen. See the results of your most wonderful time and learn from the experience that we all are scared for that first time, but really, you may be pleasantly surprised that most people are simply living their life as well and pay little to no attention to us.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest TuckerDIT]

Well, I did it! My first time out dressed up! I just went out with a GG friend and we just walked around a mall a couple towns over. We only got to walk for about 20 minutes since the mall closed pretty early, but it was still enough to get my feet wet! I did notice some people give me a double take or stare, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I just need to get a walk down and my hair a little better before I go out again haha!! Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!!

[Carolyn Marie]

Congrats, hon! I'm proud of you, and happy that it turned out well. The next time will be better, you'll be better prepared and more confident.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

Way to go!!

[Guest Alaster to Alice]

Well, I did it! My first time out dressed up! I just went out with a GG friend and we just walked a. und a mall a couple towns over. We only got to walk for about 20 minutes since the mall closed pretty early, but it was still enough to get my feet wet! I did notice some people give me a double take or stare, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I just need to get a walk down and my hair a little better before I go out again haha!! Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!!

You go girl!! The simple act of doing something is a powerful motivator to other people like me. I still get super nervous while shopping for female clothes . I am so proud of you and keep up that awesome self esteem and positive attitude.

Hugs,

~Alice

[Guest AshleighP]

Congratulations! The first time is always a real eye opener. All the advice given here was great. I totally agree that most of the fear we feel is unfounded (though still real). I firmly believe that most of the world is so involved with themselves, they rarely notice what's going on around them.

Ashley, I love the suggestion of writing down what you think will happen and then checking off the things that actually do happen. When you make that list make sure the top item is "have fun", because that's definitely going to happen.

Learning from the experience will be the key to making the next time even more fun. Confidence in who you are will make all the difference.

[Guest ashleynikole]

Congratulations!!!!

You go get 'em girl!

Just reading your words made me realize how nerve-racking that first time is and how it is SOOO much easier where I'm at. You're just starting a journey to living authentically without fear of others, but you took the first steps and THAT is awesome. Eventually you'll be whizzing around the women's section at your local clothing store, grabbing things to try on and hitting the dressing room like you own the place. I spent all day in full female form (pretty much all I'm doing at this point) and that included dropping kids at school and daycare, hitting a local coffee shop, going to therapy, shopping for new fall/winter clothes, going to my bank (INSIDE the bank), getting a massage, picking up the kids, going to the grocery store and then home (now I know why women are dying to take the bra off first when they get home...lol).

You are going to have SOOO much fun on this journey we call life now that you are beginning to live authentically in your expression. May you be blessed in all that you do, bringing courage and peace to those around you.

God bless

Ashley

[robinmaybe]

Going to a movie theater is a really clever idea. I'm going to have to remember that.

[Krystal88]

Great job! That mustve felt great!-Im nowhere near that yet,but I hope to get there eventually.

You are inspirational!

Krystal

[Robin Silk]

great job i have no courage to go to a place like the mall! that being said, last night was the 1st time i went out dressed in 15yrs and the 1st time ever in daylight! it was to a TG support group so it was a safe first journey and a good experience. scary parts were leaving and arriving home where the neighbors might not be so accepting in our small development.