Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

how comfortable are you with you?


Guest marsha leanne

Recommended Posts

Guest Elyssia

This is my 3rd counsellor so im not sure how many more to try....its possibly just me more than anything not being able to open up verbally as much as id like to, a life time of secrecy is not easy to overcome in just a few sessions

Link to comment
Guest KatyDesire

It has taken me a long time, and I still struggle a lot, but, by and large, I think I am slowly getting on top of things.

I was chatting to someone a few minutes ago, and I thought of another way to look at it:

Masculine men and feminine women tend to be a bit one-dimensional. Barbie-doll-like cardboard cut-outs.

I think we are more interesting - lots of facets to us. That lets us shine, diamond-like. Diamonds can do many things - they can cut glass and metal, or they can look wonderful in a ring. Granite is pretty boring actually; although it does make a nice strong surface in my kitchen. Solid, comforting, but I'm not going to put it in a piece of jewellery. So I am going to carry on learning to be a diamond - always shining, but often just looking different and doing different things. And never ever being the same as the old lump of granite.

Of course, to be at their best, diamonds need polishing. And that is what you are doing now with your therapist.

Hugs all round.

Link to comment
Guest Kenna Dixon

Katy...I like your diamond analogy.

At our core, each of us has a precious stone. What we must do in life - by ourselves and with the help of others - is locate that essence and enhance its value by shaping and polishing. Soon, we will learn to recognize and accept the value of what we have found and nurtured...and we'll discover that its brilliance attracts those who are drawn to beautiful things.

Looking at a diamond, who would say that all the work involved in taking it from uncut state to gem was not worthwhile?

Link to comment
Guest Ellyssa

Ellysia:

I hope you're able to open up to the therapist and get some issues resolved.

As for the diamond analogy, a diamond is interesting fresh out of the ground but it's real brilliance is only revealed after skilled hands cut and polish it to shine. Keep working on it and we're here to help with what we are able. I just heard a song on the radio by Colbie Callait, if music soothes your spirit:

"Try"

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you. Do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you. Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Oh

Get your shopping on,
At the mall,
Max your credit cards
You don't have to choose,
Buy it all
So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you're all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

No
Oh

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don't you like you?
Cause I like you
Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest sandra6sandy9sand

I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am. I have been in the closet for most of my life, almost 65 years. My wife of 35 years discovered panties in my drawer a year ago and I have been trying to come out more since then. She now washes my panties with the rest of our cloths. I have a small wardrobe of women's cloths

that I ware when she is gone and many more that "pass" as men's for every day.

I accept myself for who I am and hope that my wife will continue to accept me as well. We have only once talked about cross dressing and that was nearly 20 years ago when she discovered me dressed before I went to a meeting. We did as much research as was possible then but it was nothing like what's available today.

I love myself and I love my wife. I cross dress every day in one way or another and feel fulfilled.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Sandra

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

moderators, if this is a duplicate of another thread, feel free to move it, not yet that well versed on everything this site offers. respectfully.,,,

I have a question for my cd sisters. How long was it before you became comfortable with yourself as a cd? I'm not meaning presentation as that seems to be a forever struggle. I mean that part of you that said, i dress and i am ok with that.

It took me many years to finally realize that this was a huge part of me and that i needed to own it and accept it. For too long, the shame and guilt of it all ruled my world. I still to this day, stay in the closet, but i can at least say to my self, 'i choose to do this and im ok with it',and I can accept this part of me. When i did that, the guilt washed away and a freedom i had not known appeared.

for me it was a gradual growth. Was it the same for you, or did you have an 'ahaa' moment?

some times i hear people talk about me and i feel proud. some days the laughter and looks are too much...

Link to comment

Hi Lily:

I'm much older and still sensitive about my Cross-dressing however the more I realize that a strangers opinion is not important to me the less I care what they think.

My dad used to say: " When they pay my bills then I'll care what they think."

My family is most important and my wife accepts me for who I am.

I have not told my adult children & their spouses yet but I believe they would also accept me as I am.

My concern would be my potential to embarrass them in the community because of many small minds.

At lease now I venture out publicly, away from my home turf, and enjoy it very much.

Baby Steps, one at a time, and feeling good about myself.

Good Luck

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Lynnette Rae

it is an uphill battle for me. I know I will get to the top when I step out of my front door dressed to the 9's. I never fully started accepting myself until about a month ago when I told my wife and she told me I needed to be me and she would help me in any way she could. since telling her we have went on several shopping trips together and you know when I am in the women's department and looking at all of the pretty clothes I will hold something up and I don't care who sees or hears me when I say how do you think this will look on me honey. I am now more at peace I no longer have the depression or feelings of guilt and think I have to go and do something manly after getting dressed up. I underdress all of the time, I purged all of my boxers. Actually I dress all of the time now my tops and jeans are women's jeans and blouses. just my slip on shoes and my cowboy boots were made for men everything else is packed away and in storage now except for a suit and one pair of jeans and shirt. I am accepting me for me and me wants to look and feel pretty.

Hugs and Kisses

Link to comment
Guest Jocelyn1975

I'm still hiding the only person that knows is my wife. I dress some 28th her but maybe one day I will stop hiding. The business in and where I live are my biggest fears of dressing outside my house. I have gradually started dressing in feminine male clothing hopefully one day we shall see

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 170 Guests (See full list)

    • Wasylyna
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Ashley0616
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Adele Svetova
      Adele Svetova
      (25 years old)
    2. BROOKSGLASS
      BROOKSGLASS
      (34 years old)
    3. FinnyFinsterHH
      FinnyFinsterHH
      (16 years old)
    4. fool4luv
      fool4luv
      (26 years old)
    5. itsaddison
      itsaddison
      (20 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Not in so many words, therefore it's not there at all.  Excuse my paranoia. And the states passing laws against us are nothing to worry about either. Having to change my gender back to male (like in Florida) is reasonable.  I should just accept it, I mean I was born with a dk.  So that "F" is lie, and a fraud.  My delusions need to be dealt with for my own good.   I'm just frustrated these days.  Just a bit of a rant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You probably remember the Target PR fiasco.  I remember reading an account from a woman who shopped there.  She went into a stall and did her business, and someone came into the bathroom and began swinging stall doors open, and when she came to her stall, the woman peeked at her through the crack. "What are you doing?" "Checking for perverts." The writer was so stunned by the absurdity that she finished up ASAP and got out of there, while the other woman entered a stall and locked it, made sure it was locked, and locked it again. 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been a good day.Cleaned my closet of clothes that I do not wear anymore and do not fit me.It looks better now.Came down to my newest property beside mine,owner passed and I inherited it.There was a double wide there that was removed,it was in bad shape.It is the shop part I am keeping which I got the tools,shop equipment,benches,hoists and shelving too.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Nothing about eradicating TG folk. 
    • Ivy
      If 9 out of 10 parts are ok, that doesn't mean I need to accept the bad parts (that are aimed directly at me).  That seems suicidal.
    • Ivy
      True, most of it has nothing to do directly with us.  It's the parts that do that are the problem.   I see the  few problematic statements as being a big problem.  Just because a lot of it may be okay, doesn't change that. Even supposing the rest of it might be good for the country, it doesn't help me if I'm being "eradicated".  I suppose I should be good with that, because it's for the "greater good".  If me being gone would please a number of people, then it's my civic duty to disappear, and vote to implement that.
    • Ivy
      Yeah.  There are already laws against assault.  I don't think the overwhelming majority of trans women have any desire to harass cis women.  Speaking for myself, if I go into a women's washroom, it's because my eyeballs are already floating - not for kicks.  And I worry about getting clocked and assaulted by some guy being a "hero."
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Only three, maybe four, sections even mention transgender.  Most is a conservative agenda I have no problem with.   In the sections that mention transgender, there are very few lines.  Those lines ARE problematic, in every case. Unequivocally.  I can't see some of them standing up in court.  In one case a recommended policy goes against a court decision, which strongly suggests the implementation of that policy would be stopped in court.    Anyone maintaining that this is written simply to support Trump, to support him becoming a dictator, to crush transgender people is feeding you a line.  Nor is it an attempt to erase transgender people.   People will have to decide if the overall goals are worth the few problematic statements.  Overall, I support it.  Of course, I have some reservations.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It is unfamiliar, therefore threatening.   For 90% or so of the population, gender id can be simply and quickly determined by a quick anatomical observation.  They have no understanding and cannot imagine what it would mean to have a body different from the id.  It is unimaginable.  Therefore, wrong.   So there is this strong headwind.   I haven't entered this discussion, but here is a script: A: I can't imagine what it must be to have TG. B: You're a man, right? A: Well, of course. "amused" B: Imagine you were required by law and custom to wear women's clothing all the time. A: It wouldn't happen. B: Okay, but for the sake of the argument... A: That would be disgusting.  I would be very uncomfortable. B: You have it.  That is what TG people go through all the time. 24-7-365. A: Really? B: And then they are told they are perverts for having those feelings.  The same you just described. A: I see. B: And someone comes along and tells you you need conversion therapy so you will be comfortable wearing women's clothing all the time. A: I think I would break his nose. B: You understand transgender folk better than you think.
    • EasyE
      I have found some people correlate TG = child predator ... just as some have correlated homosexual = child predator...    I am baffled by the TG = unsafe connection ... my wife tends to think this way, that this is all about sexual deviancy ... I try to ask how my preference for wearing frilly socks with embroidered flowers and a comfortable camisole under my lavender T-shirts is sexually deviant (or sexual anything) but I don't get very far... 
    • EasyE
      Best wishes to you as you take this step ... many blessings to you! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not sure.  The perp is a minor.  The problem here is NOT transgender, the problem here is incompetent and criminal administration.  See https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/family-of-loudoun-co-student-sexually-assaulted-ineptitude-of-all-involved-is-staggering/3231725/ It is more than annoying that people think the problem here is TG and that other people think the solution is some stupid statewide law.  Like an appendectomy to deal with an ingrown toe nail.    Since Loudon, I recall a boy was asked not to use the girl's restroom at a high school by one of the girls.  He, overwhelming her with height and weight,  assaulted her, claiming he had a right to be there.   Later I think eight girls beat him severely in another girl's restroom.  Again the problem is not transgender, the problem is assaults in restrooms and common courtesy.  TG is used as a smokescreen and it seems to paralyze thought among administrators who do not want to do anything to provoke controversy.
    • VickySGV
      Time to get with your Primary Care doctor and be referred to a neurologist or an orthopedist.  It could be many things, too many for any of us here to guess at. 
    • Mmindy
      Other than the Boy Scout motto, oath, and law. I use two:   When asked how I'm doing? In all honesty I reply. I would have to make something up to complain. If asked to explain further: I reply. I know someone is having a tougher time than I am, and I pray God blesses them.   I also recite this quote that I have tagged in my signature: Courage, doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."-Unknown    Saying these things daily keep me motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Abigail Genevieve
      If this goes on, I am conceding the real possibility of being stopped in WM or somewhere by a concerned citizen who tells me, "Lady, God made you female.  I don't think you should be trying to look like a man. You need to return to your true gender and be comfortable living your life out as a woman."   Begin odd and awkward conversation.  I have been thinking about this this morning.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...