After all these years I just found out I’m a cross-dresser!

[Guest Stevie]

I am brand new to cross-dressing; I fell upon it somewhat accidentally when I purchased some sexy men’s underwear on line. I couldn’t believe how good it made me feel!

Now I’ve been slowly buying new things both on line and in the department stores. In spite of having a muscular physique I have had great success in all the items fitting beautifully. I can’t believe how happy and fulfilled this makes me feel!

Frankly I am surprised I didn’t get into this earlier in life as I can look back and see some of the suggestive signs at a very young age.

I’ve been in a sexless marriage for many years and had hoped sharing this with my wife might turn her on unfortunately it did not. Now she not only finds me undesirable but also a little weird too (her words) ;-(

Oh well, I feel sexy and awesome and I’m thoroughly enjoying my panties, nighties and my pink toenails!

And I’m very happy to have found this site.

[Guest rexxmarksley]

If it makes you feel happy, that's what matters.

Perhaps your wife will warm up to it and find it less 'weird' over time because it's not a weird behaviour at all

Aaron

[Guest]

I'll 2^nd Aaron's comment.

Be who you are and live your life to its fullest.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Stevie]

Thanks for your positive comments Aaron and Joann, they are much appreciated.

[Guest KatyDesire]

To most people it does seem a bit weird, let's face it. She needs to be reassured that you are not homosexual, and not going to transition - she married a man, after all, not a woman. Then she needs to be reassured that SHE is not weird for living with someone whose gender may be ambiguous.

This is a hard, long process - think of how long it took YOU to realize how things stood.

Giving her books to read may be very useful - the one that comes to mind is "My husband Betty", but there are quite a lot on Kindle, or in hard copy. She will almost certainly not want to see you dressed - at least at this stage. So take things slowly.

It may also be useful for her to get onto this website, to get a bit of insight into it. When people think about it, they sometimes realize that the underlying gentleness was what attracted them to their partner in the first place - and this may just be all they are seeing now, but just expressed in a more honest way.

But take everything slowly.

Hugs - and hang in there!

Katy

[Guest Stevie]

Katy:

Very insightful thoughts, thank you for taking your precious time to read and respond to my post. I am humbled.

All these years I have been very loving and considerate of my wife’s choice of no intimacy. I did not know this about her when we got married this came up shortly after.

Listening to her reflect on her childhood and watching her actions and activities over these years I have come to feel she has a repressed desire for her own gender. I love the lady I married and nothing can change that I would still love and support her in anything she chose. I have tried to bring up this delicate issue but she became very defensive and did not want to talk about it. Over these many years I have also tried to encourage general marriage counseling but she refuses to go. I have gently offered books, audiotapes, even teaching/counseling videos.

We get along very well but more as roommates, best friends. To be close to her I will accept and live with this, I have an infinite amount of patience, but still, I can’t help but hope for more.

When I experienced my enlightened moment regarding my feminine side, everything seemed to make sense. Events throughout my own life as well as my wife’s and even her attraction to me in the first place, fell into place.

My personal discovery is still quite new, I gently shared it with her but now I’m keeping it quiet and personal. This discovery was a piece to a puzzle that has been missing for many years and has prevented me from seeing my whole picture… I finally discovered the piece… and it fit. Now I can see the whole picture and I couldn’t be happier. This experience has and will continue to make me a better husband and a better person.

It feels so good to be able to share these feelings amongst such caring and understanding people.

All my very best
Steven

[Guest Stevie]

VivianMichelle: Thank you so much for your kind words; these are certainly my wishes as well.

All my very best to you!

[Guest Jana]

Hello Stevie,

I appreciate your puzzle analogy--it all lines up/fits and you just know it. I'm happy for you and share your joy--it's a new discovery for me too. I've joked with my wife re: how i'd look in a dress to test the waters but it upset her. I often buy doillies now when im at yard sales too. I don't know how to reconcile my femininity with her and our lack of intimacy is especially difficult. Thank you for reminding me i'm not alone!

[Guest Stevie]

Hello Jana:

Jana, we are definitely not alone! And to be honest I think I think if we knew how many more of us were out there, living in secret, we would be shocked.

When you mentioned doilies, I had to chuckle, when I first got married 30+ years ago I decorated our new bedroom with the most beautiful flower and lace drapes with matching quilt and shams. They were a soft coral pink, blue and cream floral pattern (those were really popular colors back then). I complimented those colors in the paint, wallpaper and throw rugs. The bedroom looked like a showpiece, it was absolutely beautiful! It was one of many wedding presents from me to my new spouse. I really liked it but I was trying so hard to please my bride, I thought all women liked that sort of thing.

I found out years later she absolutely hated all of it… all those years she never said anything.

When she told me so many years later I wasn’t even hurt I just laughed.

I know how you feel regarding the issue of no intimacy. That’s been a tough one for me all these years. I never sought out an affair. I know myself well enough that I would feel too guilty about it and there would be no pleasure in it. So I just respected her wishes all these years and remained celibate.

No we are not alone Jana, we both found this place and there are so many here who know right where we’re at too.

All my best to you!

Stevie

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Hi Stevie and welcome along!

Take a moment to read my history and you'll find you are not the only latecomer to cross-dressing! I started at the tender age of 53!

Good luck

Eve

[Guest Jana]

Thank you for your kind words Stevie! That really helps. It's wonderful not to feel so alone--and the celibate thing, the knowing you'd feel too guilty--yes. Wow. I just had a terrific experience today i'd like to mention too--i went to a neighboring town and stopped at a muffler shop and the woman there--Monica--a pretty young person in a male body helped me. Thank goodness for young brave people like her too. I'd love to chat with you more.

Jana in Kelowna