"Transparent"

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Okay....here goes,

First I really struggled with where to post this.......I thought about Activism, and the other was Entertainment, but I felt more comfortable with the General forum partly in hopes it would get more attention. Not for me but for the sake of US!

Now to the crux of the subject......the show "Transparent"

I really had high hopes for this show....now granted some of you girls, and possibly guys will tell me that I shouldn't have any high hopes for the show, after all it's just entertainment. Okay point taken, but personally (my opinion) I don't find it even entertaining.

Yes my expectations are probably unrealistic, but I really hoped it would be a help to educate the public, more specifically my public, and even more specifically my wife of 43 years.

I finally got her to watch it with me which was quite a task I must tell you. I had only watched the first two episodes by myself, and I had not been impressed with the first two but from supposed positive reviews out there I still had high hopes, and got my wife to sit down watch from the beginning. If you've watched then you know it did start off kinda okay with Maura's struggle to tell her children of her dysphoria, and come out to the world.

I really wanted the show to educate........Yes I know you need some titillation to hold an audience, but I think you can do that without cutting, and pasting confusion, and poor porn into the real purpose of this show....given it's name.

What we mostly witnessed was seeing Maura's children take what I call the center stage. The oldest daughter's lesbian affair, the son awakens to unveil a young sleeping girls bare bosoms, and then of course the youngest sibling coming to terms with her hating her own girlish body, and showing signs of leanings to androgyny? (I guess maybe?).

Anyway

What it seems to me is the show is misnamed.....shouldn't it just be titled "Who, and What am I".

Sorry I'm not dissing the other trials of the LGBT community, I just thought that the water was getting muddied by too much sexual confusion involving non-transgendered issues.

Sadly, instead of opening up a dialogue with my wife so we could talk about Maura's struggles (both private and public), and how they related to my own (notice I didn't use "our own" since Maura is divorced in the show) struggles.

To me the show has so much potential, but they are getting it all wrong. There is so much that we go through that in my opinion it could fill volumes upon volumes of 30 minute episodes without the input of all that other sexual menagerie that actually turned me off as well as my wife.

Our struggles are real, and I was just hoping for a show that would educate, be a reveal to our families, and yes be entertaining.

Am I asking way too much, or just not getting it?

[Guest Faith gibson]

I'm sorry LesleyAnne. Someone told me about this show, but I haven't seen it. It doesn't sound all that good, going by your description. A little too much diversity to make it realistic I would think. I guess they don't want realistic, they want sideshows.

It doesn't sound like watching a show is the best way to get your spouse on board, but what do I know, I'm still trying to figure that out for myself.

Wow, you and your SO have been together a long time. Congratulations on that! It is quite an accomplishment.

Faith

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

It's been reported that the creator of the show is seeking a transgender writer to join the staff.

[Guest]

So happy I don't have a television feed.

[Guest aballofquestions]

I dont think its an educational tool, whether it should have been or not is a different question. I think looking for something really enlightening, informative and thoughtful may be asking for too much from a mainstream show.

But I do think the show has its place. I think it puts a face to the issue. This isnt about a bunch of perverts who live in closets and are just a bunch of sickos. This is about human beings, people who have very real struggles and who just want to be happy, just like everyone else. I think thats important. Some people will see that we are real human beings with normal human wants like everyone else and still hate us, but we arent changing those minds any time soon. But some people are just ignorant and uncomfortable, they just dont understand, and those people may benefit from seeing that there are very real and surprisingly "normal" people out there who make up the LGBT crowd.

[Bulldog1948]

I watched a little bit of the show and didn't like it at all. Way too many non trans issues going on. Maybe if they do get a credible trans writer on board they can re-fashion the entire show and dump the baggeage and focus on the transparent person , her issues within herself and her family.

But, when you get a non trans person writting about trans stuff and the inner workings you' re just asking for a jumble of stuff. I don't know if any of this made any sense at all. By the way, is the person [laying the parent trans or not?

[Charlize]

I missed that show and won't go out of my way to try to see it now. Sorry it didn't help you with your wife. I found that my therapist was the best at helping with my family.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

What some of you seem to be saying is that you want a show featuring a transgender character, with the entire plot revolving around that character, and only trans issues being discussed or examined. That show would appeal to transpeople, perhaps. But it wouldn't appeal to the general public, and the general public, by way of ratings, are who pay the bills and get shows to stay on the air. If you are portraying a plausibly real family, wouldn't some in the family have issues not related to being trans, or not responding to the issues of the transgender parent?

I don't think we should lose sight of the fact that this is an entertainment, not a documentary or an ad from the HRC. It isn't perfect, and a TG writer might improve it. Or not. We'll have to wait and see. I think it's pretty well done, and am willing to give the show a chance to get better, and perhaps even make a difference.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest JillyDeex_53_mtf]

I haven't seen the series yet but it surprises me that the staff would not have someone with in depth experience as a part of the writing team. They could find plenty of talent here! Having a subject matter expert in any field of study ( in this case, expression in film media) is one the most essential parts of making a story realistic, believable and at the same time entertaining. It is easy to be critical of someone else's work, but I think just to have been able to get a series like this on the air in today's ultra competitive marketplace is a great achievement in itself.

I am willing to give it a chance.

[Guest JennaR]

I agree with Carolyn. My wife and I enjoyed the show quite a bit. I think it may be expectations that are causing problems. People seem to be going into it expecting the show to be around Maura (the trans lady), when it's about the whole family. Every character has some crazy stuff going on (this is entertainment, after all). If you're in to this kind of drama, I recommend it. After all, it has gotten great reviews on Amazon and IMDB. If you're not the crazy, emotional drama kind of person, this might not be your cup of tea. But at least we have a show that has a believably real trans character in it.

Bulldog, the trans woman is played (excellently) by Jeffrey Tambor, who, at least to my knowledge, is not transgendered.

Jenna

[Guest Ky_Ki]

Yeah I didn't enjoy it. Far too prototypical. But I've already posted about it it anothe thread.

I don't think it has a responsibility to be educational or realistic though. Those are restraints no writer should be forced into.

Btw, the writer's father came out as a trans woman late in life. Hence its not terribly surprising the story revolves around the kids.

[Guest Kaylee]

For the record, I watched all the episodes that were on Amazon Prime, perhaps 8 or 10. At first, I was a little miffed that so much of the stage was taken by the complete selfishness of the children. I did however find similarities to things I've felt in my own life.

I found in the end while only portions of the show revolve around Maura... the rest (while exaggerated) are personal daily struggles. The son doesnt know what to say, and his life is crazy, making it harder to deal. The son walks out of the talent show, the young sister it just crazy, then the older sister goes looking for them... and Maura looks up to see they've all left.

They even touch on the fact that not everyone in the CD community is supportive of the Trans community. I've heard that before, and knowing the inflammatory statements made by Ru Paul.... it's a valid point.

My vote... it's not praticularly entertaining, but I think it does hit on some of our struggles.

I'm hoping that it continues... and makes a better go!

Kaylee

[Bulldog1948]

I agree with Carolyn. My wife and I enjoyed the show quite a bit. I think it may be expectations that are causing problems. People seem to be going into it expecting the show to be around Maura (the trans lady), when it's about the whole family. Every character has some crazy stuff going on (this is entertainment, after all). If you're in to this kind of drama, I recommend it. After all, it has gotten great reviews on Amazon and IMDB. If you're not the crazy, emotional drama kind of person, this might not be your cup of tea. But at least we have a show that has a believably real trans character in it.

Bulldog, the trans woman is played (excellently) by Jeffrey Tambor, who, at least to my knowledge, is not transgendered.

Jenna

Jenna, Thank you.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

A lot of people are watching it and it has been renewed for another season. This show is made for the general public not the TG community. Its entertainment with, as we all know, a very serious message and takes a lot of sub plots to keep people watching. You also can't just go to the major issues of the TG community without building a solid plot line that they can follow. If they wanted to make it one season they would tossed in a bunch of haters and a suicide. They have TG people on staff and are getting more for next season. If the show helps those around you to understand this is real and get them to come to your therapist and/or support group that would be major and far better.

[Guest Cyndysub]

Well I guess I will stand alone on this like so much of my life. I quite liked the series. It illustrates how different people are in the closet on different issues and their struggles with them. My opinion is that it wasn't meant to be a bible so to speak on Transgender living but only the story of one case and the issues faced in that one.

Cyndy

[Ravin]

The idea as described in something iI read was that it's about the whole family, and how all their secrets become more transparent and they all start trying to find themselves, with Maura's transition as the catalyst for all of them to examine their lives.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Good point Ravin. Anything that effects one person in a family has effects on everyone in that family. Most people here show a great deal of concern about how their partners and children will react to their being TG and how to deal with it. Even worst off are the teens here, who have little or no control over their lives, trying to express their TG issues to their parents and friends. For everyone in our culture there is very little information as to how to deal with this in the real world we live in. The show has sidestepped some this a bit by making them a liberal Jewish family with a female Rabbi! Planned or not it keeps logic and science in play.

[Guest LizMarie]

Personally, I'm not motivated to watch a trans-centric show dominated by trans themes. For example, I watched Hit and Miss, a British mini-series that was about a transwoman who was working as an underworld paid assassin to fund her eventual GCS since waiting on the NHS was going to take longer than she wanted. Her trans issues impacted the story but were not central to it. They "colored" the story but the primary focus revolved around her discovering she had a son and then trying to become a mother while juggling her profession without her family discovering. The series only ran 6 episodes and ended on a cliffhanger. I doubt they'll ever finish it but I quite enjoyed it.

Likewise, I wouldn't want Transparent to be about a transwoman and focused on her issues. Nor do I expect entertainment like a TV series to be educational. If I am looking for educational, I prefer documentaries.

For those of you seeking documentaries to help educate, consider this list from the Huffington Post.

You might have better luck with one of those than with a fictional TV series.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Well, I agree that I shouldn't have expected much, and I really wasn't. But when Jeffery Tambor hit all the talk shows promoting the show he touted the show as addressing trans issues as a central part of the show, thus the name. He also said that he was unaware of what we go thru before taking the part, and he wanted to "get it right" as he put it.

I'm not saying that that is all the only thing that should be covered in an entertainment venue, but for me it covers very little to live up to it's title.

Now for the idea that there is more, and of course better informative reading, and video out there to educate..........absolutely there is, but how many are going to go out of their way to educate themselves. We live in a society that expect to be entertained constantly while we accidentally get a little education with it.

I've tried as I'll bet many of you have as well, tried to get friends, family, and spouses to look at some the the video's, readings, etc. that would be more educational to inform them of who we are, and what we go through in our life's journey.

Maybe you've had better luck than I, but all I've gotten is " yeah, yeah, it's about your identity....I get it!! "

So for a slight chance for a show to make those that I love understand me just a little bit more was a hope dashed.

The last time I tried to argue my case (which was last night as a matter of fact) on why in the world after 43 years of marriage would I choose now to hurt her, and ruin her life.....because if she held something like that for that long then she could have kept it to herself for the rest of her days. And she believes that as fact!! This is not an uncommon question presented to many of us, especially by spouses who have been with us for a long time. During an argument they are not hearing you, they are focusing on their next retort or attack or whatever you want to call it.

That question hurt me so, so deep that I came very close to clamming up and getting in my truck and making it my final answer!!

I didn't come out to hurt anyone, especially my wife, and I thought I was doing the right thing by finally admitting to her my struggle.

I just feel that if they were watching a show then they would tend to hear and digest a little more if they were being entertained.

In the heat of any argument it's hard to remain focused on your answer (because for me it's not just a simple answer to "why now?", especially if you've tried to bury your dysphoria, and deny it so much of your life). So I was hoping for a little help in my delivery of a life saving message......I'm trans, I'm hurting, and I had to let her out or die!

As far as the show "Transparent" I just wish they wouldn't mix so many ingredients in the hamburger to the point you can't taste the beef!

By the way I've tried, and tried to get my wife to come to this site (which has some of the best resources out there) to get answers, and to chat with others that are in her shoes. No such luck.

So I'm still looking for a vehicle in a desperate attempt to deliver some answers that they'll sit an listen to without being turned off, and clear up some confusion.

In my opinion a good example of a educational/entertainment show......."Newsroom".............Who knew we were number 1 in incarcerations?

Just sayin!

[Guest LesleyAnne]

And by the way........

I don't want it to end, I just would like it to get a little more meat, and less soap!

[Guest Cyndysub]

One case that covers the whole family. I inferred that is was the whole family. Good grief