It seems that cross dressing waxes and wanes...

[Guest]

It seems I go into denial about it... then I come back... so confused

[VickySGV]

I had a cycle of the stuff too where it was hot one day and "who the hell cares" for another week or more. Even today it still is there, and when you are full time as I am, it shows itself differently but it really is there. It is not what you would expect to happen but it does.

[Guest KatyDesire]

Hi Lexi.

I find 2 things happen. The need waxes and wanes. I don't know why. Sometimes I am too stressed and busy to think about it, other times it helps the stress. Sometimes when I am happy I want to bask in it, other times I feel I don't need it.

I think it's part of being on a gender spectrum - one is not all male or all female. If this is true, then I suppose it would be natural for the need to vary from time to time. Sometimes women where skirts, sometimes denims, sometimes overalls. Its just that no one takes any notice when they do.

The other thing is the feeling of "why me?" "Am I nuts". "I'm not really like that." And then the need happens the next day, and I am more accepting of myself.

All very confusing. But, perhaps in the right state of mind one can just enjoy the ability to be happy in various presentations. Not all that many people are fortunate enough to experience that.

Hugs.

[Charlize]

Purge and collect, dress and refrain the changes were a constant. I think that is normal even if it is confusing. I would think the majority of us have tried to push our issues to the side.

I tried to be as butch as possible and yet even working as a union laborer on a pipe crew on interstate highways i had my issues. My cousin is a freudian psychologist and she has told me we are all a mixture of male and female. Confusing.... yes but i've finally found acceptance and peace simply being myself. I am legally a female and feel that is me but even after loosing some muscle mass to HRT i'm as stronger than many men. Fortunately i've found i can simply be myself.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Trisha Kobichenko]

Hi Lexi,

Put me on the same page as Katy and Charlize, waxing and waning is a constant companion, and has been for about 6 decades. I am new to this site, but not to crossdressing, which I started at about age 7. I remained confused about what was driving my desires, what was I really, and why didn't I feel the absolute masculine or feminine identification that I saw all around me. Relatively recently (3 years ago) I came out to my SO of 30 years, and came to personal acceptance of me smack dab in the middle of the gender identification scale. Her acceptance of my revelation has totally helped me to accept the confusion I have always lived with. I like being male sometimes. I like being female sometimes. And I have to keep my presentation(s) appropriate to my current environment, but now I have set stages for expression of both.

Hope this helps, hugs,

Trish

[Guest Eve Caillard]

After my initial confusion when I arrived as a late CD, I was quite alarmed when the feelings faded. But the posts on this site reassured me this is normal. And I have since found it is true. It does wax and wane. I think stress, circumstances, opportunities, and hormones all play their part. Right now I have little time or opportunity to dress and so everything is running low and quiet. I have little bursts from time to time. But I do miss my fully dressed days so much. But I under-dress all the time.

Eve

[Guest]

I like looking like a guy but wearing heals and a short dress. Im not passable but dont want to be. This is what makes me feel normal.

Is this a wrong full time gig?

[Charlize]

I certainly don't feel it is wrong but it might make life very difficult unless you were in a very accepting community.

There was a time when i was a bearded lady and knew i couldn't leave the closet. Society just isn't ready.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

I certainly don't feel it is wrong but it might make life very difficult unless you were in a very accepting community.

There was a time when i was a bearded lady and knew i couldn't leave the closet. Society just isn't ready.

Hugs,

Charlize

life seems difficult, be me and seem out of place or not be me and seem out of place.