I'm giving up smoking cigarettes, need encouragement
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By Kait · Posted
Hey-o. My name's Kait. I haven't decided what to do about my last name yet. (Mononyms sound cool, but they're very problematic unfortunately). I guess pronouns are important. They/them or it/its (strong preference for 'it/its'). Im not someone who's been active in the community for a long time, but I've known I was trans almost my whole life. It's just that financial, medical, and psychiatric struggles have kept it from the forefront of my priorities for 10 years or so. So basically during that entire time, I've been living as an AMAB, masculine-presenting person named kait. Which is not ideal, but I've been able to deal with it by dissociating from my body and viewing it as an appendage rather than as a 'self'. Mostly I'm on here because I finally feel well enough mentally and physically to think about beginning HRT. Problem is, I really don't know where to start out what to do. I have an endocrinologist I see for an unrelated health issue, but honestly I don't have a very strong relationship with him. Is it best to start with my existing doctor? Or should I find an endocrinologist that specialises in this sub-field? What's the best available tech? Is 29 too late to be taken seriously about this by my doctor? I have no idea about these questions and so much more and I need help. Side from trans stuff though, I'm the boringest person you'll probably ever know. I have a pretty rich inner life and a wonderful partner, but really all I do is work, sleep, and occasionally build tiny models. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
I agree that porn is a really bad thing. Bad in general, but probably gives a misleading view of trans folks. If you don't see trans folks out in the wild, but you see plenty of them online, that is going to give the impression that it is primarily sex-driven, and that trans folks are interested in sex with just about everybody all the time. Similar to what people often assume about being bisexual. I'm androgynous, so sometimes people look at me this way. Especially if my husband and I are together (if they don't assume I'm his kid) people get that "judgy" look on their faces. You can sort of read their minds. I even heard on lady say something like, "Oh, that's just so wrong" when we came out of a shower at a truck stop. I mean, I like sex and we have a great connection in that way, but its not "THE REASON" for our relationship. -
By Justine76 · Posted
Thank you for sharing! This is very much where I am currently. Questioning my motivation's, wondering where this is going and do I have the fortitude to continue the journey? I too like to dress in what would probably be eye catching in your typically suburb. Not in a revealing way but beyond casual. Not that I’ve presented in public yet. Trying to build the confidence to dress for the next trans pride event locally ;) -
By Maddee · Posted
I like your take on this. -
By Justine76 · Posted
Certainly considering this. I’ve seen some reports, albeit anecdotal, of laser treatments causing some mild skin damage; like mild pitting, etc. Any validity to this in anyone’s experience? -
By VickySGV · Posted
@FelixThePickleManI and at least 3 or 4 others here on the Forums are in recovery (a couple of us over 15 years) from drugs and alcohol. Any drug, legal or not so, including abused prescription drugs (me) is potentially addictive and you need some help and uplift to break that cycle. At first you do feel better by using your substance of choice, I know I did, but the substance takes over our lives, because for us they are cunning, baffling and POWERFUL and too much for us to control. It was during my recovery from my alcohol and drug abuse that I first fully and with a lot of fear, but a desire to be honest came out to a group that actually turned out to be wholly supportive both of my recovery and encouraging me to get into things that would forward me toward my Transition. Let us help you feel better about yourself without the substance since without the substance you can actually meet the challenges you face to become the best self you can be. The goal is to like yourself every day without the false gods that chemicals can become, because they want to destroy us not help us live. We deserve to be happy and able to work and live our lives. PM me if you need some one-on-one and do the same with the others who will respond to you here. A choral group I am part of sang a song in a concert last week that tells us that we Trans are OK and great, it is the people in the village around us that are the real grief in our lives, but here you are in a village on-line that will support you. -
By Vidanjali · Posted
I can only imagine what your early life experience was like. It's very weird when children's bodies are treated as property of their parents and not really their own. Certainly children don't have agency to make major life decisions. But parents operating covertly doesn't seem to be entirely sensible. I'm sure there was a lot of fear on the part of your parents, and perhaps/probably even coercion by medical professionals. But what is your relationship like with your parents now, if they are still living or in your life? -
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By FelixThePickleMan · Posted
My mom found a vape of mine and this is the third time. I hid it out in the garage but she found it because I looked suspicious and now shes mad at me again which makes sense but she told me not to bring it in the house so I figured the garage was okay. But I know I should just stop but its something that I enjoy doing. I do it with my buddies and I do it alone. The one she found was a different, typically I have weed but today I had nic, but still, I know I should quit. Not because it's bad for me but because its hurting the relationship that I barley have with my mother and that's tough but for some reason I want to have my cake a and eat it too, but that isn't possible. I finally understand that phrase now, well I already understood it but now I really understand because I'm living it. and with that my mom most likely will pull me out of the school that I'm at now because that's when I started, this year. I've always had an interest in weed the way I have an interest of anything else. To me it's no different than the other things I'm interested in but this just happens to be a drug. I know I should quit I know it's wrong and I know that I'm choosing to do it, because I like it and I think in order for me to stop is to not like it anymore otherwise I most likely will continue. I know its sad but unfortunately it is true I know I'll have to quit before I go in the Marines so maybe I'll stop then. I smoke because I don't have anything else to do initially but now I smoke because I don't have anything to do and I like it. Even when I did basketball I still was high, and I still played in fact I played better. I do everything better when I'm high I'm like a better version of myself, I can let go and let the me on the inside show on the outside with no fear, my creativity flows like Niagara falls just a contunious stream of creative output and innovative ideas that leave a good impression on others. I'm better to be around when high. I like myself better when I'm high. -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
This neighbor's friend,luckily my health insurance covered it.Luckily my vehicles,house and shop are smoke free. -
By Abigail Genevieve · Posted
@VickySGV Good point. There are websites full of porn and fantasies related to cross dressing, trans stories, etc., and people might easily think those are written by TG types and accurately describe TG folk. -
By VickySGV · Posted
No one has mentioned the Adult Entertainment Industry aka the Pornography Industry which for too long was the ONLY source of information about us for the general public. I actually realized what I was from an XX Rated publication that I snuck behind a comic book at the neighborhood convenience / liquor store. The person in the article told of her feelings up until and through GCS which I identified with completely, but then went on to the sob story of a marriage crashing when her knowing husband went to a new job and they found out she was Trans on a security check and threatened the husband with legal action unless he divorced her --- yada yada!! On that note she decided her life was ruined. -- Other problems in the Porn Press are of course the "Morality" and it is there that child endangerment stories for actual mental illness types comes in. Also in that media they emphasize the Fetishistic Cross Dresser classification which is an actual addiction situation and is a harmful process addiction of sex that is as terrible as Drug and Alcohol Addiction can be. The pornographic issues and sources of information are readily available in the opening pages of a Google Search while actual Trans information is about page 200 on the engine. A recent misadventure I had that shows how acceptable I am as my True Self is that a man who claimed to be a church elder (minister??) told me how he had never come up with legitimate information on Trans People and actual Trans Children and he went on to brag about what he did find that was morally damning by looking for the information. He continued to go into detail about other pornographic sources and how nasty they were. I asked him then why HE, a MINISTER kept looking at the Porn. He replied to me that he kept up with it to warn his congregation of the true evils he had seen so he could minister to them. Happily for me a friend of mine came along so I could break away from the guy who was after my soul. (He did not read me as Trans, whew!!) -
By Ashley0616 · Posted
Just like anything else that is new it's always the thing that people fear of. People are typically afraid of change. Even something as simple as new procedure at work or the population growing. Typically just have the mindset of it's not broken then don't fix it type of attitude. The world is progressing and they need to accept that or they will eventually be left behind. A good example after WW II women working in the workforce things didn't go well at all due to a lot of butting heads. There are still even people now that think women are only meant for housework and raising babies. -
By RaineOnYourParade · Posted
I've actually seen a lot of people who at least tolerate the LGB and not the T. There's also some of the gay/lesbian population that, unfortunately, alienate trans people away from other parts of the community. To me, the biggest block is probably the lack of formal exposure. If people aren't taught about LGBT they will, just like any other topic, come to misunderstandings and more. Besides, how can most LGBT people figure out that they are such if they don't know it exists? I know that, personally, I didn't realize I was a guy rather than just someone who wanted to be a guy until I was introduced to trans as a concept -
By Ashley0616 · Posted
You're welcome. I wanted to post something new that I haven't posted yet.
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