Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New to forum


Guest AlysonV

Recommended Posts

Guest AlysonV

Hello

I'm Alyson. This is my first post on forum, but I have been visiting chat for some time.

I'm 40 years old and feel that I should be female but not sure. I'm still trying to find my true self and accept who that is. I am married and have a wonderful daughter. Like many I thought finding a wife would fix me, I was wrong. I love the life I have but can't stand my own image. I get along okay with men and women. But feel out of place in any large group. I know I should see a therapist but I have trouble seeing my self worthy of the investment. This is a very complex struggle for us all, but I hope I can find my answers and maybe help others as well. To all my new friends hugs and best wishes for better days ahead.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's Alyson. You are certainly not alone. I've finally come to believe that there was nothing to fix. Therapy and talking to others here helped with that. There are many ways to life a life while being true to yourself.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, Alyson. I share some of your story in my own life. It can be very confusing at first, not to mention scary. But knowledge and information does help. We can and do provide that here. So please feel free to ask any questions or make any comments, on the threads of others or one of your own. We'll be here to answer them as best we can.

I do ask our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they help us keep the site safe. A link is located at the lower right of every page.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Alyson

Hello and welcome :)

It is nice to meet you

I look forward to your posts

Tracy x

Link to comment
Guest MostlySwell

Hi Alyson,

Freddie, here. So glad that you signed in. I think you'll find a lot of support here and many answers, if not right away, over time. I've been on board here for less than a year and have found the folks here to be helpful and supportive in so many ways.

Take care!!!

Fred

Link to comment
Guest Carla_Davis

Hi Aiyson.

Welcome to Laura’s Playground.

You will find the Staff, and Members very Friendly,

I hope that you find everything that you are looking for here, especially, good supportive friends. :wub:

I Came-Out Full Time in my early 50’s

I also hated my self-image for years, and could not look at myself in the mirror, because I hated the image I saw.

I know I should see a therapist, but I have trouble seeing myself worthy of the investment

You need to start thinking positive about yourself.

Here is a very good link, to start.

Reasons to Cherish being transsexual

http://transsexual.org/cherish.html

I hope that this can help you see yourself "Worthy of Investment”.

“This is a very complex struggle for us all, but I hope I can find my answers and maybe help others as well”

True, it can be a very complex struggle, if you look at the large picture, but instead,taking one day a a time, can make it much less complex, easier, and Happier.

You make no mention about if your wife, and daughter, are accepting of the True-You.

There is Support for Significant Others (SO’s) on Lauras, both in the Forums, and also the Oline Chat Support Groups, where they can also join and ask questions to other Spouses.

This may also be helpful to you and your wife.

TG Couples This is a meeting both for the TG and their wives partners or husbands. Over 18 as mature subjects will be discussed. Both partners should attend. Meetings will be held every Saturday starting at 7 PM Eastern time. Moderators : Angel Wings and Tamar

You and your wife can chat on-line in Real-Time with oter TG Couples to ask questions.

There are MANY members on Laura’s that were able to maintain their marriages, after Coming-Out as transgender.

Please feel free to ask these questions, as I am sure that they would love to answer your questions..

“I Hope I can find my answers and maybe help others as well

Remember, there is no such thing as a dumb question, if you do not know the answer.

Also, I want to commend you for helping others as well. :thumbsup:

Your questions, may also help others who may be too shy to post.

Please ask any questions, that you may need answers to.

I Wish you Success and Happiness in your Journey. :wub:

Hugs,

Carla

Link to comment

Hi Alyson and welcome to Laura's. Anything that helps to improve your life is a worthwhile investment.

:D

Link to comment
Guest miss kindheart

Hi Alyson,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)
We all look forward to seeing you.
:wub: vanna

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

hi Alyson,

I want to try to put into words that started jumping around my brain upon seeing your intro.

My boyfriend is FTM, I've seen photos of him from back in the day, he was cute then as he is now, but not for one moment can I imagine him having to live as a female, he too couldn't stand his body and put on weight, by mid 30's started transitioning & even though he's not had any surgery (wants top though) he's male through & through. He's still the same person but SO much more now that he lives as he was meant to, happier, more confident...simply more him. I hope this makes some sense for you, you are SO worth the investment.

D~~

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 319 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • KymmieL
    • VickySGV
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,091
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Layla Marie hay
    Newest Member
    Layla Marie hay
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Britton
      Britton
      (53 years old)
    2. chipped_teeth
      chipped_teeth
    3. james-m
      james-m
    4. jenny75
      jenny75
      (34 years old)
    5. KASS13
      KASS13
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      I still maintain my "male" skills and almost have to laugh when that sort of thing happens to me with Cis males, and it does happen.  On the other side there, I have activities with the Trans community  here where I live including Trans Men who love to show off their new lives.  I have had a couple come over to my house and I have done some shop teaching that is always fun.  When they offer to help me by doing "male stuff" in a group, I do not take it as misogyny .
    • Thea
      This guy asked me to help with his tire.  So when I turned around and he saw that I'm a woman he's like,  oh nevermind
    • Betty K
      I think that’s an important point. In my case, I’ve found transitioning to be such a relief and a joy that I have no difficulty focussing on the positives. Maybe in your case you could make a practice of noting when you are gendered correctly? Do you keep a journal? I find doing so is major help.   After saying I rarely get misgendered, it actually happened to me yesterday in a local store. After recovering from my shock (the salesman called me “brother”, which to me is about as bad as it gets) I wrote my first complaint letter to a business w/r/t misgendering. That felt good. I also reflected that, to a degree, for those of us who don’t pass, I think gendering is correctly can take a conscious effort. Some Folks seem to automatically see me as feminine, others have to work at it. So if you’re often surrounded by people who have no desire to work at it, that may exacerbate your problem.      
    • Betty K
      I don’t know why anyone would go to the effort of advocating for trans folks only to charge people to read their articles. It seems so counterproductive, and I seriously doubt they’re making more than pocket money out of it. 
    • KathyLauren
      Oh, how I wish we were over-reacting!  But I don't think we are.  The danger is under-reacting. 
    • Ivy
      I understand your feelings. I have the same fears.  NC has made a swing to the right as well, and I'm not optimistic.  I want to tell myself I'm over reacting.  But seeing what these people are  saying, and doing when they do get into power can't be dismissed.  It's proof of what they will do if they take over the federal government. I'm getting kinda old now anyway.  It took me over 60 years to get here, and I'm not going back.  I suppose they can revert my gender markers, but I will still be legally Ivy.  And I have every intention of dying as Ivy Anna.  If I can't find my hormones somehow, I'll do without.  The physical changes I do have are permanent.   Trans people have always existed.
    • Willow
      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
    • KatieSC
      I wish I could cope as well as others. I feel very defeated in that all of the consideration, and then treatment to transition, could all be wiped out by this time next year with the united effort by the R party to eradicate all that is transgender. I fear that the national election could turn out to our detriment, and we will face a national push to eradicate us. Tracking us down will not be that hard to do. Once they know who we are, forcing the legislation to reverse our name changes, gender marker changes, and other records, will not be that hard. We saw an example when the AG in Texas was data mining the driver licenses for those who had gender marker changes. Who will we appeal to? The Supreme R Court? We would have an easier time trying to convince a Russian court.    We need to get out and vote in November. There is not enough Ben & Jerry's to improve my outlook on all of this. In some ways it is a cruel thing in a way. In the early 1930s, Germany was working hard to hunt down the LGBTQ population and eradicate it. Now Germany has better protections there than we have in many of our own states. About 90 years ago, Germany was seeing the rise of their very own dictator...Now the US is on the verge...Oh never mind. What a difference 90 years makes...    History may repeat itself, but sometimes it shifts the focus a little...
    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boss is happy with everything with me and said I will be the only one that works on one customer's truck.This customer saw me clean a small grease spot in the inter of his Kenworh last week,on the steering wheel.A new customer too,saw me walk out with my tub o' towels wiping that grease stain off.This one,he cannot stand a grease spot in the interior.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...